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  1. AKRhino is offline
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    Posted On:
    2/19/2013 6:01pm


     Style: Brazillian Jiu Jitsu

    2
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    Interestingly last night while I was home with a sick kiddo my wife texted me the following from practice "I get dudes that don't wanna work with a chick. **** them."

    I've seen it. I guess it's possible that his guys would never act like that, but I suspect that's probably not the case. I'd suspect this happens in most gyms. Is it the dominant attitude? Not that I've seen. Does it happen? Yeah, unfortunately it does... I wouldn't be surprised to learn that this kind of attitude can be pretty disheartening, and could easily be a primary reason for a woman leaving a gym.

    Also what's all this bs about "you have to be tough!" I'm in no way "tough" I'm actually a huge *****. Maybe that's another discussion though...
  2. lordbd is online now

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    Posted On:
    2/19/2013 6:11pm


     Style: Boxing/Iron Palm

    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    I've only taken like 3 or 4 BJJ classes in my entire life, and I was subbed by a woman on at least one occasion. The gym I'm starting at in March has a female assistant instructor who is a purple belt.
  3. jnp is offline
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    Posted On:
    2/19/2013 6:20pm

    supporting memberforum leaderstaff
     Style: BJJ, wrestling

    12
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    Gee, that article wasn't rife with misogyny and passive aggressiveness at all.
  4. battlefields is offline
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    Posted On:
    2/19/2013 6:28pm

    forum leader
     Style: BJJ/ MMA/ MT

    2
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    Someone mentioned it earlier, but I'd suggest that the women that actually take a class have a lower attrition rate after starting than men. It just appears that less women stay on because there is less women.

    I have tried to convince several women to do BJJ as they have an interest in my doing it (while having done TKD or something similar previous), but there is always an excuse. The usual, "I want to get fit before I go" is trotted out, but there are others, "I don't want to get bruises", "I don't know about wrestling with guys" and my favourite, "I don't think I'll look good while doing it" (granted only heard that one once). As it is a male dominated sport, there is a huge hurdle right at the beginning for women that men in the majority don't see.

    A woman would probably think deeply over their motivations for wanting to try something like BJJ. It wouldn't be an easy decision, putting yourself in a vulnerable position with bigger men on the regular. The first lesson would be intimidating beyond all measure (from a man's perspective), not knowing anything, being aware that strength-wise she'd be at a disadvantage, and ultimately they would probably do a bit more due diligence with research about the place they are about to train in. A man, on the other hand, might go, "yo, I love this UFC, I want to trane" and jump in at his nearest gym, his ego believing his size and strength will actually mean something on the mat (ahem, guilty as charged).

    So when the going gets tough and the ego is taking a battering, a woman has already humbled herself, whereas a guy is like, "**** this, I tapped out a couple of guys, I'm cage ready, mahfuckah, I don't need no more traneing." The woman stays on, the guy leaves.

    We have a few women at our gym, a couple of them are nearly as regular as I am, which is a damn sight more regular than I'd say at least 60% of the male white belts. Most of them are ranked higher than I am, so I'm assuming they have stuck with it for more than a couple of years.
    Quote Originally Posted by Mr. Machette View Post
    Ups to Battlefields for dropping the sage wisdom.

    You are like a Pimp Yoda.
    Quote Originally Posted by Tranquil Suit View Post
    Battlefields... You're more of a man than I am.
    GET A RED BELT OR DIE TRYIN'.
  5. DKJr is offline
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    Fasten your seat belts, and prepare for lift off

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    Posted On:
    2/19/2013 6:34pm

    supporting member
     Style: Combat Cuddling

    1
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    Quote Originally Posted by battlefields View Post
    Someone mentioned it earlier, but I'd suggest that the women that actually take a class have a lower attrition rate after starting than men. It just appears that less women stay on because there is less women
    I did and said that, stop stealing my ideas and just expanding on them. Jerk
  6. battlefields is offline
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    Posted On:
    2/19/2013 6:39pm

    forum leader
     Style: BJJ/ MMA/ MT

    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    Quote Originally Posted by DKJr View Post
    I did and said that, stop stealing my ideas and just expanding on them. Jerk
    A good artist imitates, a great artist steals.
    Quote Originally Posted by Mr. Machette View Post
    Ups to Battlefields for dropping the sage wisdom.

    You are like a Pimp Yoda.
    Quote Originally Posted by Tranquil Suit View Post
    Battlefields... You're more of a man than I am.
    GET A RED BELT OR DIE TRYIN'.
  7. Escrimator is offline

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    Posted On:
    2/19/2013 6:52pm

    supporting member
     Style: BJJ,WT,Escrima

    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    The Instructor in the OP comes across as condescending and passive-agressive as pointed out..That probably doesnt help the drop out rate at his school if everyone is tuned to that vibe.

    That said,its not much of a point of argument thats difficult to attract and retain female students at time,but i for one thing too much diferential treatment is as detrimental as the perceived fear that we are scaring them away by being too "rough"

    Ive said it before,i strive to treat any female training partner as i would a male of equal height,build and limitations. I dont manhandle a shorter,skinnier dude like a pitbull with a chew toy but i dont coddle him either.

    If you have contact that causes discomfort,apologize and move on.Ultimatly its not going to be any of us to undo what years of conditioning or mindset a female student has that will make her quit or stay.Thats on her,personal accountability and all that jazz.

    we owe them as much respect and help as we would a male counterpart,including not sulking if tapped or refusing to roll with them,but thats about it for me.
  8. Permalost is online now
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    pro nonsense self defense

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    Posted On:
    2/19/2013 7:08pm

    supporting member
     Style: FMA, dumbek, Indian clubs

    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    Quote Originally Posted by PizDoff View Post
    My guys are very nice, respectable gentlemen (some schools are not) and treat the ladies with respect (or I’ll kill them).
    Right after this he says that he treats the men and the women the same, but this part makes me wonder. It sounds like he may have his head in a more chivalrous time, where women need men to protect them from scoundrels. That's not the worst thing in the world, but his attitude that his dojo is full of respectable guys OR ELSE and that other dojos are disrespectful towards women sort of hints that he sees himself as a savior to women. That sort of behavior, while well-intentioned, does what it tries to prevent: it tells women "hey, you are different here and will be treated as such". Maybe this is why women don't stick at his particular dojo?

    Another part that sort of concerns me about that attitude is that when a guy thinks that he's the savior to women on a great sea of perverted men, he generally sees all men as perverted, perhaps because he's projecting himself on human nature or because he sees himself as as subset of that, but either way there's something kinda creepy about that. But I think I'm reading too much into that there.

    I think that there's plenty of guys that quit but they're kind of written off because they fit a certain profile. A casual flip flops and Affliction shirt fight fan who studies for a few months and moves on with his life, for example. That guy quits and nobody bats an eye. When a female quits and now your club's lost 50% of its female players, people tend to notice more.
  9. goodlun is online now
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    Posted On:
    2/19/2013 7:23pm

    Join us... or die
     Style: BJJ

    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    Quote Originally Posted by Keith Owen View Post
    Can Women Really Handle Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu?

    My male students are usually married and take a bit of a risk with their spouses by wrestling around with the opposite sex. http://keith-owen.blogspot.ca/2013/0...ilian-jiu.html
    This little tidbit still keeps sticking out at me when I reread this blog.

    I find it very troubling that any adult that is in a serious relationship can't identify what is and is not intimate contact.

    Have any of you out there run into this issue with your significant others?
  10. Azatdawn is offline

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    Posted On:
    2/19/2013 7:27pm


     Style: Thaiboxing; MMA nb

    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    Quote Originally Posted by goodlun View Post

    Have any of you out there run into this issue with your significant others?
    Not in a serious way.
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