223775 Bullies, 3927 online  
  • Register
Our Sponsors:

Results 111 to 120 of 163
Page 12 of 17 FirstFirst ... 289101112 13141516 ... LastLast
Sponsored Links Spacer Image
  1. Mister is offline

    Registered Member

    Join Date
    Aug 2011
    Location
    Cairo, Egypt
    Posts
    642

    Posted On:
    2/20/2013 8:30pm


     Style: Injured

    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    Quote Originally Posted by Vieux Normand View Post
    Once paralysis occurs, everyone can then take turns being mister's mister.

    EDIT: On the other hand, why wait?
    Ouch lol. That's harsh.

    Quote Originally Posted by AKRhino View Post
    You have no idea what I've had to deal with in my life.
    You're right, I assumed, my bad.

    Quote Originally Posted by AKRhino View Post
    1 person you can name has dealt with the issue and continued to do judo. How many more have not? How many have gone on to commit suicide? How many suffer in silence for the rest of their lives? Your level of ignorance is astounding. I have no doubt that Kayla herself would strongly disagree with your statements and the ease with which you're apparently dismissing the issue. In fact, there are very few, if any, more difficult issues than this to deal with imho.
    My answer to all your questions is I don't know.

    I'm not dismissing it, I think it's horrible.

    But I think it doesn't mean the end of everything.

    Quote Originally Posted by Soldiermedic View Post
    No one addressed it because to say that the gold medal in the end justifies her allowing herself to be victimized is fucking clueless. Your argument would hold some water except for the fact that Kayla Harrison, actual rape victim and gold medalist, disagrees with your point of view at every turn.

    But yeah, continue to tell us about how the world coddles rape victims, and Bullshido is too politically correct, because you can't be wrong.
    You keep putting words in my mouth that's not what I said.

    What I said was simple:

    Everyone should have the strength to persist no matter what, making excuses is for the weak.

    I didn't say that the gold medal justifies her being abused it's a terrible thing that shouldn't have happened.

    But it did happen, and she had the strength to keep going, and that's all that matters.

    Quote Originally Posted by lordbd View Post
    I'm not a tough guy by any means, but I'll quit something if I'm being treated like ****, unless I really believe that theres some benefit/purpose to the treatment (like a personal trainer yelling at you to get another rep).

    This whole idea of "I'll never quit, paying these ppl to treat me like **** must somehow pay off in the long run, RAHR im not weak RAHR" sounds like the way cults get started to me.
    Well...I didn't pay it was for free lol. I didn't have a choice to join a different gym back then (or I thought I didn't) I didn't know much about martial arts and the lead instructor was a really cool guy who took me under his wing and ****. Things were rough before that.

    I thought I was learning the true deadly.

    Imagine my shock when I came here and found it was all bogus.

    Quote Originally Posted by XXIV View Post
    Alright pal, that's enough of that.

    Facts:
    - I am a woman
    - I was sexually abused for around 3 years of my life
    - I was raped, verbally and sexually abused. That means forced to give oral and ****.
    - I held it in for another 3 or so years.
    - I developed PTSD in a bad way, failed out of college twice, was so depressed I couldn't get out of bed, gained over 100 lbs. Didn't realize this til very long after it happened. Diagnosed in late 2007.
    - It is now 2013. I still have nightmares. I still have flashbacks and hypervigilance. I still hit rock bottom sometimes. I still have dissociative episodes. I'm secretly terrified of going to BJJ every night. I have to go in 30 mins and I'm just as nervous as the first day tonight.


    Now that you have my credentials that I know what being fucking sexually abused by someone I thought was my best older friend is like let me tell you something - jits is fucking hard after something like that.

    I didn't start doing BJJ/submission grappling until years after I first started going to therapy. Around earlier this school year. There's an old post of mine where I talked about how ashamed and horrible I felt for tapping out to an anxiety attack. I still have to do that sometimes though the training helps. I've had to take days and weeks off, I've had to tap and throw up and cry in the bathroom at the gym.. it fucking sucks. And without therapy and xanax I guarantee you I wouldn't have been able to handle it at all.

    I don't know if you've ever been raped. Having someone in your guard holding you down putting weight on your chest feels a whole shitload like being vaginally raped. That's one hell of a ripe flashback trigger.

    Other women get over it? Yeah. They do. Everyone reacts to trauma differently. It depends on a shitload of different factors, not the least of which is how soon you talk to someone about it, which a lot of us don't out of guilt, fear and shame. It also depends on personality and brain chemistry - did they have an anxiety or depression problem before? It's a whole hell of a lot worse. Holding it in does more damage than the act itself sometimes.

    I'm certainly not quitting jits now. Not ever. I will work through the nerves. To me it's exposure therapy to others it can be terrifying to the point of not being able to function.

    I'm going to go get ready for BJJ.
    I'm sorry that happened to you.

    But I still stand by my belief.

    You're pulling through too, if only everyone had the fortitude instead of making excuses.

    I think people suck and it's easy for everyone to make excuses to justify any weakness of will on their part.
  2. AKRhino is offline
    AKRhino's Avatar

    Registered Member

    Join Date
    Nov 2007
    Location
    Fairbanks, Alaska
    Posts
    542

    Posted On:
    2/20/2013 8:38pm


     Style: Brazillian Jiu Jitsu

    4
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    When you talk about her having the strength to continue, that is true, she showed remarkable strength. BUT, she also had remarkable support. She was flown from home and housed and trained by a Judo coach. She lived with teammates, her coach provided a psychiatrist for her. The reality is, she was an Olympic hopeful and therefore was lucky to have the resources provided to help her. This should in no way detract from her remarkable ability to deal with what happened to her. That said, I think the number of victims of sexual assault who have these resources available to them are probably the minority. Certainly these resources weren't available in the issues I've been involved in.
  3. lordbd is offline

    Registered Member

    Join Date
    Apr 2012
    Location
    Shelton, CT
    Posts
    885

    Posted On:
    2/20/2013 8:45pm


     Style: Boxing/Iron Palm

    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    Quote Originally Posted by Mister View Post
    Everyone should have the strength to persist no matter what, making excuses is for the weak.
    I think that your mantra here sounds great, but in practice it could be a negative thing depending on what you mean by "excuse" and "persist." Is stopping one activity to begin one that you are more suited to an "excuse?" Is dealing with a traumatic event gradually and intentionally with the help of a professional a failure to "persist?" Do you really think that its better to push through the pain of an injury instead of taking care of your body?

    Should people strive to overcome tough ****? Duh. But everyone has to be thoughtful about doing what is actually best and what actually works for them.
  4. Mister is offline

    Registered Member

    Join Date
    Aug 2011
    Location
    Cairo, Egypt
    Posts
    642

    Posted On:
    2/20/2013 9:20pm


     Style: Injured

    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    Quote Originally Posted by AKRhino View Post
    When you talk about her having the strength to continue, that is true, she showed remarkable strength. BUT, she also had remarkable support. She was flown from home and housed and trained by a Judo coach. She lived with teammates, her coach provided a psychiatrist for her. The reality is, she was an Olympic hopeful and therefore was lucky to have the resources provided to help her. This should in no way detract from her remarkable ability to deal with what happened to her. That said, I think the number of victims of sexual assault who have these resources available to them are probably the minority. Certainly these resources weren't available in the issues I've been involved in.
    I've been involved in an issue like that with a close friend.

    She didn't have any resources, just some friends and a broken family. And she's living her dream.

    Sorry, I don't buy the resources part.

    It's a strength of will that most people lack.

    Quote Originally Posted by lordbd View Post
    I think that your mantra here sounds great, but in practice it could be a negative thing depending on what you mean by "excuse" and "persist." Is stopping one activity to begin one that you are more suited to an "excuse?" Is dealing with a traumatic event gradually and intentionally with the help of a professional a failure to "persist?" Do you really think that its better to push through the pain of an injury instead of taking care of your body?

    Should people strive to overcome tough ****? Duh. But everyone has to be thoughtful about doing what is actually best and what actually works for them.
    Everyone misunderstands me.

    I'm just a little misunderstood puppy.

    Apparently I can't express myself properly in writing.

    I'm sure if I could unload the contents of my brain without having to put it into words nobody will disagree with me.

    No bro, taking care of an injury is not giving up.

    Seeing a psycholo/chiatrist is not a failure to persist.

    SIGH

    Nobody gets me...

    All I need now is a haircut and a NOBODY DIES A VIRGIN BECAUSE LIFE FUCKS US ALL t-shirt.
  5. ChuckWepner is offline

    Registered Member

    Join Date
    Nov 2012
    Location
    Chicago / Michigan
    Posts
    391

    Posted On:
    2/20/2013 9:34pm


     

    1
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    Quote Originally Posted by XXIV View Post
    Alright pal, that's enough of that.

    ...

    Other women get over it? Yeah. They do. Everyone reacts to trauma differently. It depends on a shitload of different factors, not the least of which is how soon you talk to someone about it, which a lot of us don't out of guilt, fear and shame. It also depends on personality and brain chemistry - did they have an anxiety or depression problem before? It's a whole hell of a lot worse. Holding it in does more damage than the act itself sometimes.

    I'm certainly not quitting jits now. Not ever. I will work through the nerves. To me it's exposure therapy to others it can be terrifying to the point of not being able to function.

    I'm going to go get ready for BJJ.
    Thanks for speaking out, XXIV. I'm glad you were able and willing to. Some very close friends and family members have gone through the nightmare of being raped and I saw how difficult it was for them to talk about it, especially in contexts where they were concerned about their trauma being minimized (or mocked or blamed on them, etc.). I don't think anyone is intentionally minimizing rape in the thread, but internet boards don't exactly guarantee only sensitive, supportive, and respectful comments.

    Anyone reading your post should see that someone who has gone through what you have could very well find herself (or, less often, himself) unable to participate in something that constantly threatens to trigger re-experiencing the trauma. That would hardly make that person a "quitter."

    That you, XXIV, are able to overcome the demons that you do and train BJJ says to me that you are remarkably brave. But people who aren't able to do what very brave people do aren't thereby cowards. There is a large range of ordinary people in the middle.
  6. XXIV is online now
    XXIV's Avatar

    Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn

    Join Date
    Mar 2008
    Location
    Mount Olive, NJ
    Posts
    541

    Posted On:
    2/20/2013 10:06pm

    supporting member
     Style: Jits [2 Stripe White]

    3
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    Quote Originally Posted by ChuckWepner View Post
    That you, XXIV, are able to overcome the demons that you do and train BJJ says to me that you are remarkably brave. But people who aren't able to do what very brave people do aren't thereby cowards. There is a large range of ordinary people in the middle.
    Precisely, Chuck. Everyone handles and deals with things differently. And it's not necessarily that they are less brave, they simply move at their own pace and deal with things based on their own habits and surroundings.

    BJJ helps me a lot. Today I tapped to two anxiety attacks. One I felt coming on like a freight train. My partner had me mounted and I bucked to get him off, lost it and panicked. I simply tapped and started to tear up a bit but he could tell something was off I think. I remembered to breathe, looked at him and remembered that he was my training partner and friend, that I was in the present. I still feel 'off' but I am happy I was able to work through it.

    BJJ gives me options should that situation ever arise again. That gives me strength.

    It's flattering that you think I'm brave but I'm just tired of feeling like it's a part of my life I have to hide. **** that, man. <3
  7. Holy Moment is online now
    Holy Moment's Avatar

    Light Heavyweight

    Join Date
    Aug 2006
    Location
    Shitsville
    Posts
    4,037

    Posted On:
    2/20/2013 10:44pm

    supporting member
     Style: Wrestling

    1
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    Because I don't want to spend my life in a wheelchair.
    Listen, Honeyballs, you'll be spending the rest of your life in an iron lung after I get through with you. I'm going to make hate to you so hard your kinfolk back in Africa will feel it.

    ... Oh wait, you're already in Africa.
  8. battlefields is offline
    battlefields's Avatar

    Moderator

    Join Date
    Jan 2009
    Location
    Australia, Land of Oz
    Posts
    5,222

    Posted On:
    2/20/2013 11:04pm

    forum leader
     Style: BJJ/ MMA/ MT

    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    Quote Originally Posted by AKRhino View Post
    When you talk about her having the strength to continue, that is true, she showed remarkable strength. BUT, she also had remarkable support. She was flown from home and housed and trained by a Judo coach. She lived with teammates, her coach provided a psychiatrist for her. The reality is, she was an Olympic hopeful and therefore was lucky to have the resources provided to help her. This should in no way detract from her remarkable ability to deal with what happened to her. That said, I think the number of victims of sexual assault who have these resources available to them are probably the minority. Certainly these resources weren't available in the issues I've been involved in.
    If she was already training in Judo it might mean that starting back isn't as hard as never having done it before.
    Quote Originally Posted by Mr. Machette View Post
    Ups to Battlefields for dropping the sage wisdom.

    You are like a Pimp Yoda.
    Quote Originally Posted by Tranquil Suit View Post
    Battlefields... You're more of a man than I am.
    GET A RED BELT OR DIE TRYIN'.
  9. mike321 is online now

    Senior Member

    Join Date
    Sep 2007
    Location
    California
    Posts
    1,458

    Posted On:
    2/20/2013 11:29pm


     Style: kenpo, Wrestling

    7
    Hell yeah! Hell no!

    Can Women Really Handle Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu?

    Wait a minute! Outside of Mister's "Never Give Up!" approach to sexual assault. There is another basic issue: a beginner probably does not have a burning dream to succeed. A grope can break any chance to develop the passion for an activity in the first place. To even talk about pushing through it, in addition to trivializing sexual assault, ignores that the art is being damaged. Any misogyny can have this effect,; even when there is no assault.
  10. legomepanda is offline

    Registered Member

    Join Date
    Feb 2008
    Location
    Illinois. Yay.
    Posts
    434

    Posted On:
    2/21/2013 12:35am


     Style: grappling

    2
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    This whole conversation has become very odd. I'm going to assume what Mister is trying to say is "don't let **** **** with your ambitions, even if the **** is sexual assault". What people read was "you should keep training at a school where you're being sexually abused because, you know, **** yea".

    Having a hiccup in life, from sexual abuse or otherwise, is nothing to be ashamed of. But if you let something dominate your life to the point where it destroys your hope and ambition then it is as much a personal failure as it is poor circumstance.
Page 12 of 17 FirstFirst ... 289101112 13141516 ... LastLast

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  

Powered by vBulletin™© contact@vbulletin.com vBulletin Solutions, Inc. 2011 All rights reserved.