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  1. ChuckWepner is offline

    Registered Member

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    Posted On:
    2/14/2013 10:03am


     

    3
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    Not original but fairly awesome and comes with pre-written theme music:

    SKEET SURFIN', "Cause it's totally bitchin', Ridin waves & shootin' pigeons!"

  2. Chili Pepper is offline
    Chili Pepper's Avatar

    Senior Member

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    Posted On:
    2/14/2013 10:11am


     Style: Siling Labuyo Arnis

    4
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    And how could we neglect Botaoshi?

  3. ChuckWepner is offline

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    Posted On:
    2/14/2013 10:48am


     

    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    There are many Olympic events that would be hugely enhanced and could perhaps make the Neolympics just by adding defense. When my mother and sisters were enthralled by the Ice Dancing, it seemed to me it would be so much better with hard-checking defensemen released periodically from chutes. Degree of difficulty would finally mean something.

    Or golf: wouldn't it be more interesting if an axe-wielding man in a hockey mask charged out of the woods toward the player once he reached his ball? Get the shot off before Axey gets to you or your round is over, for good. And every so often, a sandtrap hides quicksand, or if that can't be engineered, trapdoors over a drop into a pit of vipers or something.

    For archery, competitors wear (only) each other's target. Fencing is an easy fix: no protective gear, no buttons, fully sharpened blades, drop the wimpy rules. Speedskaters have to cope with occasional fishing lines being pulled taut across the course.

    Swimming is obvious: deadly sea creatures of all different kinds in the pool as appropriate for each event. If Johnny Weismuller could make the transition from wimpy Olympic swimming to fighting alligators and giant snakes underwater as Tarzan, then so can Michael Phelps. If we still want running, OK, but your going to be chased, and if you lose, you lose.

    Also, and this is perhaps the scariest of all: no handout of thousands of free condoms to the participants in the Neolympic Compound ("village" is too wimpy); everyone rides bareback for the full two weeks, no exceptions.
  4. Scrapper is offline
    Scrapper's Avatar

    Fear and bullets.

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    Sep 2004
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    Dayville, Connecticut, United States
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    Posted On:
    2/14/2013 10:49am

    staff
     Style: MMA

    9
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    The "Roosevelt"Pentathlon:

    3 rounds boxing followed by 6 minutes sub-grappling followed by 6,000-vertical-foot mountain climb. Then the participant has to deliver a speech after getting shot with a small caliber pistol, and finish with a cavalry charge up a well-fortified hill.

    Winner gets to be president.
    And lo, Kano looked down upon the field and saw the multitudes. Amongst them were the disciples of Uesheba who were greatly vexed at his sayings. And Kano spake: "Do not be concerned with the mote in thy neighbor's eye, when verily thou hast a massive stick in thine ass".

    --Scrolls of Bujutsu: Chapter 5 vs 10-14.
  5. ChuckWepner is offline

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    Posted On:
    2/14/2013 10:52am


     

    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    I feel like Scrapper has me cornered, and its not a good feeling!
  6. W. Rabbit is offline
    W. Rabbit's Avatar

    insight combined with intel, fuse, and dynamite

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    Posted On:
    2/14/2013 11:10am

    supporting member
     Style: (Hung Ga+BJJ+MT+JKD) ^ Qi

    1
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    Quote Originally Posted by Cake of Doom View Post
    Seal clubbing
    Baby seal clubbing. There is a difference...smaller targets are more sporting.
  7. Permalost is offline
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    pro nonsense self defense

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    Nov 2012
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    San Diego
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    Posted On:
    2/14/2013 12:44pm

    supporting member
     Style: FMA, dumbek, Indian clubs

    2
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    Bobsled fencing, both parallel and head-on

    Buzkashi:


    Bo-Taoshi:


    Synchronized marksmanship
  8. Raving&Drooling is offline

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    Sep 2008
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    San Antonio, TX
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    80

    Posted On:
    2/14/2013 2:47pm


     Style: lifting

    2
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    Wrestling in zero gravity.
  9. Permalost is offline
    Permalost's Avatar

    pro nonsense self defense

    Join Date
    Nov 2012
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    San Diego
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    Posted On:
    2/14/2013 3:17pm

    supporting member
     Style: FMA, dumbek, Indian clubs

    2
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    Jai Alai Dodgeball
  10. Vieux Normand is offline

    Senior Member

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    4,294

    Posted On:
    2/14/2013 3:28pm

    Join us... or die
     Style: 血鷲

    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    Quote Originally Posted by The_Beak View Post
    I could care less about wrestling but Thank God they kept Speed Walking.
    Knee-oh-limp-prick version: competitive goose-stepping.

    Forget that half-hearted Nazi and Soviet ****--only Pyongyang post-nuke hopalong stylists need apply.
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