Seagal & Arpaio Team Up to Bring Heavily Armed Criminals Into Schools! Kids Safe Now!
Sheriff / Publicity Fan Joe Arpaio has decided to deal with the school security issue in Maricopa County in Arizona by putting armed posses of volunteer sheriff's deputies around local schools, ready to go in if they spot any trouble. To train them in hand-to-hand and small arms, he wanted only the best, so he brought in his pal / fellow publicity seeker, Steven Seagal. Seagal, who mentioned to reporters in Arizona that he has "hundreds of thousands, if not millions" of hours of small arms training experience, previously joined Arpaio in a raid on a local cockfight in a SWAT tank, covered elsewhere on this site.
Arpaio is also well known for many controversial practices, from making inmates wear pink underwear, to keeping county prisoners in a "tent city" whose security and conditions have been widely criticized, to employing policies aimed at immigrants that have led to conflict with the US Department of Justice.
Arpaio claimed that volunteers would be screened with the same background checks as regular police officers. The Maricopa County Sheriff's Department website said that the department "seeks only those individuals who possess the highest levels of integrity;" however, so far screening seems to have been something of a problem.
Unfortunately, among the posse members already involved in patrolling near schools under Arpaio's command is a convicted sex predator with a history of exchanging nude photos and explicit texts and trying to arrange meetings for sex with at least eight girls between ages 13 and 17. Another posse member has a domestic violence conviction and others have other criminal records.
Arpaio has said that schools cannot opt out of the protection his posses are offering.
I heard about how well things are going here:
The details about the sex predator are from
Last edited by ChuckWepner; 2/13/2013 9:42pm at .
Lemme guess, the sex offender is Seagal?
If you follow the Colbert Nation link, you get the page where the video report of this story plays. Maybe somebody less impaired can embed it here.
Damn it! Beat me to it!
(actually, my first thought was "who's the homeless guy in the first pic? He looks like he's about to be tackled by the guy in the background.")
The look of warm admiration, love, and shared respect Arpaio is giving Seagal in both photos really makes me feel good about this. There is no way that this is a cynical publicity ploy.
Oh and Sheriff Joe would like everyone to know that body-builder / actors Lou Ferrigno ("The Incredible Hulk" on TV / Dino Di Laurentiis's "Hercules") and Peter Lupus (Willy Armitage on "Mission: Impossible" on TV, and an early Playgirl pin-up, now 80 years old) have signed on as volunteer deputies.
From interviews I've seen over the years and a friend who worked with him on a film a long time ago, I gather Lou Ferrigno is quite a good guy and I have nothing against Peter Lupus. But the emphasis Arpaio puts on the celebrity involvement really puts him in a bad light.
You know... I was able to just blow this off as a publicity stunt. That's fine. Whatever.
But the part that filled me with rage is actually in Seagal's wardrobe choice. That thing around his neck is a shemaugh. A shemaugh is typically worn by several groups of people but primarily recognizable from two sources: Arabs and soldiers in desert environments. Well, Seagal isn't an Arab. And he isn't a soldier. So that leaves fucking tacticool poseur.
Now, I obviously have no issue with people buying shemaughs. I own a few myself. Apparently it's also fashionable on the runway these days. Honestly I doubt I'd have this viscerial gut reaction if I didn't already know Seagal was such a fucking posing poseur.
I was actually thinking about Fashion Policing this one too. Shemaugh, backwards baseball cap, button up shirt and a duster? Please, girlfriend.
Originally Posted by wetware
Yeah, but unlike Steven Seagal, you don't have "hundreds of thousands, probably millions of hours" of small arms training experience. Just to put that in perspective, if you trained 10 hours a day, every day of the year, it would take about 27 years and five months to rack up 100,000 hours.
Originally Posted by wetware
From the auspicious occasion of his birth to the time he made the statement, Seagal lived a little over 533,000 hours. He is letting us know that since birth, if not before, he has put in probably 60 or 70 hours, at least, every day, doing small weapons training.
When you can match that kind of commitment, Mr. wetware, then you can come back and criticize Steven Seagal's selection of extra chin linens.
Very nice. What's not nice is that I'm pretty sure I accidentally downvoted you on my tablet, which has been acting wonky today: my apologies.
Originally Posted by ChuckWepner