Thread: Murphys' Law of Road Running
2/13/2013 3:03pm, #1
Murphys' Law of Road Running
Murphy's Law of road running:
Universal Truth:- Running never gets any easier, if one finds the exercise getting easy, you aren't working hard enough.
Universal Truth:- Fitness is so bloody hard to gain yet so easy to loose.
Car Drivers:- There's lots of them, expect to be seriously injured if not killed every time you decided to run. Because they're moronic/arrogant individuals - especially old people & women.
Car Drivers:- Even when you've been knocked over/near missed by inconsiderate cunts, don't expect them to show any remorse.
Cyclists:- Whilst not as bad as car drivers, they're still morons, especially when they ride on the path at night toward you, without lights and wearing dark clothing.
Pedestrians:- They will never fucking understand what a runner experiences as they run, they will always get in your way, or move out of your way right at the last second despite you wearing hiviz and often shouting "excuse me".
Dog walkers:- Just don't get me going. The owners need a good kick as you run past to remind them all, that the pavement doesn't exist for the benefit of dog-owners or, for dogs to piss and shite at every opportunity. Dog leads exist because it's a legal requirement (In the UK) for owners to tether their animals in public.
Weather:- Headwind is Mother nature's way of providing free resistance training. Stick two fingers up and tell that bitch to **** off - then crack on.
Weather:- Snowfall is Mother nature's way of informing you to dress for cold weather. Wearing shorts (yes I've seen it) isn't hardcore - it's fucking stupid.
Injuries:- Warm-ups don't guarantee injury free exercise. Pain is the body's way of informing you of an injury, whilst there's always exceptions to the rule, unless you're training for P Company, or you're in contact with Islamist Milita, when pain strikes it's time to rest.
Injuries:- Blisters, bastards as they are, are inevitable. Accept it.
Psychology:- The hardest part of any run is pushing past that demon in the mind who gives you every reason available known to man to jack in, yet never gives any reasons to keep pushing on.
Psychology:- Just when you think you're getting a handle on this running lark, you realise there someone running past you who's fitter, faster, leaner that you...The Bastard !"To sin by silence when one should protest makes cowards out of men".
2/13/2013 3:44pm, #2
It's all True.
Last year running in Green Park on the perimeter, I turned in by the new entrance to Green Park Underground station and avoided everyone when a tourist looking the wrong way decided to throw out her arm to point behind her. She was doing this while talking to her friend who was facing forward - looking toward me. Needless to say, the Arm when straight into my Face despite my already turning away to run around her in simple courtesy. I went straight into the Fence.....
2/13/2013 4:01pm, #3
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2/14/2013 11:43am, #4
- Join Date
- Feb 2007
Dogs and running/exercise. Hate them. Not only have I had some fuckers dog try to bite me on more than one occasion I have found out that on a couple of times after doing circuit training in the park that I have been doing crunchies/press ups in dog ****.
Can I add drunks? Few times now I've had winos stagger towards me with a can of Tennents going on about "why are you doing that etc" in a slurred voice. My reply to the last one was "so I don't look like you". He challenged me to a fight so I challenged him to catch me first. He didn't.
Quite often I see the staggering drunks first thing in the morning, but then hey! I live in Slough.
2/14/2013 2:12pm, #5
The other day I was riding bikes with my sons. The youngest just came off his training wheels! We are stoked. So we are riding and he is a little shakey, but good. We ride by this house and I see this little rat dog come running at us. I runs right up in front of my son. I cringed because he was already shakey, and I just know he is about to get thrown off his bike by this dog making him panic. Well, panic he does but instead of falling off, he holds what he got! Locks in and runs right over that little fucker! And rides off, never missing a beat!
I laughed so hard that I almost fell off my bike! It was great!
2/14/2013 2:21pm, #6
- Join Date
- Sep 2007
Murphys' Law of Road Running
Runners: Wear dark clothing. Cross path of cars without giving them a chance to see you. (Mainly applies if you are actually fast.)
Respect to running; but gripes apply.