1. #1

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    Hell yeah! Hell no!

    Steven Seagal trains armed Posse to protect schools

    http://uk.movies.yahoo.com/steven-se...120405605.html

    I only wish this was less believable than one of his movies plots or his CIA claims
    Just what every school needs an armed group of civilians (possibly with assault rifles) trained by Seagal, near young children in a school.

  2. #2
    Permalost's Avatar
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    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    Steven Seagal takes on an armed lunatic:
    -step 1: engage the perp in ethnic slang so that he mistakes you for one of his own.

    -blindside him with an acoustic number from Songs from the Crystal Cave

    -make sure in your victory speech, you reference training Lyoto Machida and Anderson Silva

  3. #3

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    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    Who better for target practice?

  4. #4

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    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    Stephen Seagal vs ARMED LUNATIC

    first Consider tactical options
    a-Use the deadly front kick (**** belly gets in the way of the leg!)
    b-Harmonize with your opponent and inform him he is a reincarnated tulku (**** he's not buddhist)
    c-Contact your CIA mates (**** thats in your imagination)
    d-Copy Aikido O sensei and disappear in all the smoke created by the pistol(**** modern fierearms don't work that way)
    e-Help the lunatic find inner peace with your personality changing music (**** it causes homicidal rage not inner peace)
    f-Challenge him that you are unchokeable (**** Gene Lebell already disproved this one and made you go to the bathroom at the same time)

    second realise you have no tactical options that don't involve crapping your pants
    Get shot in the belly but survive due to its vastness and padding despite crapping your pants

  5. #5
    slamdunc's Avatar
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    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    Quote Originally Posted by Vieux Normand View Post
    Who better for target practice?
    When someone that round is in your 'fatal funnel', you are almost guaranteed a hit. On the other hand, I wouldn't want him shooting at me LOL.


  6. #6
    Permalost's Avatar
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    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    In irony news, a crazed gunman is taken down after failing to hit the broad side of a barn.

    The barn was unavailable for questioning, but witnesses say it groped an upcoming starlet and made a group of jazz men frown before getting kicked out of an all you can eat buffet.

  7. #7
    DerAuslander's Avatar
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    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    Fucking Mystical Fatman...

  8. #8

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    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    Heh. School massacre in T-minus 3... 2... 1...

  9. #9
    slamdunc's Avatar
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    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    Quote Originally Posted by doofaloofa View Post
    Sounds like a vagina euphomism
    Sorry, I should have illustrated LOL.


    It does kind of have that 'V' thing going for it. You may be onto something.

    Quote Originally Posted by doofaloofa View Post
    I imagine one could hide quite a number of 6 year olds behind SS's belly
    If he teaches the posse his culinary and eating techniques, the entire class would be able to find cover.

    Last edited by slamdunc; 2/12/2013 10:22am at .

  10. #10

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    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    I have the perfect name for Steven Seagal's school defending militia. Steven's Seagulls. They all must train hard to match the master's inscrutable expression of inscrutability.......and questionable neck rubs.

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