Fail Sauce (AKA Ranch Dressing): Douchebag of the Month

**Mr. Machette** · Posted On: 2/06/2013 8:42pm

CHEEZUSSS! 140 calories / two chicken nuggets? (Like fried chicken by-product isn;t bad enough already...)

That's @ 500+ extra calories per meal!

I've never been a huge ranch eater so I didn't bother checking the serving infromation but I had no idea it was THAT rich and nasty.

The obesity epidemic is starting to make a little more sense to me considering the vast portions of this **** slathered upon the already over-taxed metabolisms of your average American schlub.

Welp. Now I have an official reason to hate on the stuff other than my usual "it tastes like sour creamed ass".

On the upside, if you walk around Gresham, Oregon with some on your dick you'll get a blow job for sure...

**Phrost** · Posted On: 2/07/2013 11:07pm

Originally Posted by judoist

I disagree. Who is to say that the only way in which food can be entertainment is because of cravings for unhealthy/addictive ingredients?

Maybe learning how to cook a tasty and healthy meal is just the ticket for impressing a girl, not to mention the satisfaction of eating something you've prepared yourself.

That's the thing though, the vast majority of people can't understand nuance; whether it's because they're incapable of resisting biologically hard-wired impulses, or are just mentally weak.

So for those people, rules of thumb like that one, which like "Fail Sauce" I hope catches on, is a useful mantra to regurgitate; especially if you're the type who does find yourself looking forward to the prospect of a Baconator more than going for a jog.

If everyone had the capability of regulating his own behavior and impulses, we wouldn't need the Martial Arts in the first place and we'd be several thousand years further advanced as a species.

But then, this is a response to an article in which I used the term "fuckbucket", so maybe I should just back off a tad on serious social commentary.

**Raving&Drooling** · Posted On: 2/07/2013 11:45pm

Originally Posted by Phrost

If everyone had the capability of regulating his own behavior and impulses, we wouldn't need the Martial Arts in the first place and we'd be several thousand years further advanced as a species.

But then, this is a response to an article in which I used the term "fuckbucket", so maybe I should just back off a tad on serious social commentary.

Psh, naw. I've spent a lot of time writing on similar sentiments. We'd be much more advanced if humans would cut that crap out. Politics, the legal system, and self-defense all exist because people act like animals and pursue their own impulses instead of improving society. Huge wastes of time and resources, all. We spend too much of our energy dealing with each other instead of going forward.

Being a faulty human and just as guilty doesn't mean you can't think or speak about those things.

**doofaloofa** · Posted On: 2/08/2013 7:41am

Hey Devil

Do you put Ranch dressing on your sausage balls?

**itwasntme** · Posted On: 2/08/2013 8:17am

Originally Posted by jnp

So ranch salad dressing is a legitimate argument for eugenics? Is that your point?

Maybe someone who wrote an article on BS is upset that all that ranch dressing goes straight to their hips?

All valid points and I agree 100%.

Let's get this straight, I use ranch dressing as a gateway drug to get my son to try vegetables he would normally condemn as the spawn of Satan. After a while, the ranch gets dropped in favor of something else, like lemon juice on broccoli. Like I said, it's a gateway drug.

I don't believe this at all. Vids or it didn't happen.

ps. I was channeling some of our members who are reading comprehension challenged except the last paragraph. That stuff is all true.

duuhhhhhh......... huh???