Advise me on helping my Brother

**Wolfskin** · Posted On: 11/13/2012 10:00am

Hi, my 20y brother just asked me to be "his personal trainer" so he can get back into shape and since I'm not an expert I need some advise.

For most of our life he would be the athlete, not me. While I would spend the most of my free time playin computer games he did and excelled at various sports: athletism, basketball, surf, etc. But life often took him to other not so healthy places and he also commited many mistakes, got involved with the wrong people, drugs, debts, etc. Nevertheless 3 years ago, searshing for his own path he made the decision to join the military, more specifically one of the special forces: the "Comandos". So he hanged around with military personal, trained like a freaking beast, worked as a bouncer, praticed Kickboxing so he would be prepared to join. But, despite having one of the best results on the physical test he wasnt allowed to join simply due to having Asthma =/

So, after that he almost stopped doing any exercise, started spending most of his free time on front of the TV, and that along with smoking and drinking a lot, and realy bad diet habits, so you can imagine what are the results after 2 years. While he doesnt look properly fat he weights 104kg (229lb) being 1.70m (5'57'') and his cardio obviously sucks besides asthma and being a smoker.

In the other hand since (more or less) then I completely changed my stance regarding physical activity, and adopted exercise as my religion, preaching its benefits to everyone that can listen. and ofc tried to convince him many times to join me.

Its not the first time that he showed interest in starting to train, a few months ago he made a bet to his girlfriend about becoming into shape before summer but gave up after a tiny bit.
Now he asked me to help him.

The main problem imho is the first steps, overcoming asthma and bad cardio, getting enough motivation to not give up after the first week, getting enough regular training time into his schedule (he usualy gets home exausted from work).
He also uses the inhaler a lot and he told me that it highly improves the risks of having a hearth attack, I've been reading a bit on it and it seems to be a myth, but I'll have to research about the one he's using.

My goal here its to give him a push into training (and hopefuly healthier) habits, I belive that after overcoming the first steps he will not need me for long as he's not a stranger to exercise or sports and will eventualy join a gymn, a sports team or create his own workout . But usualy breaking inertia is the hardest part.

My plan atm:

Mild jogging - To improve his cardio and endurance. i gess we'll have to start slow.

Basic bodyweight and/or weightlifting - I realy like calisthenics and my own workouts are based mostly on "Convict Conditioning by Paul Wade", and while the book is mostly focused in gaining strengh (wich is not my brother most imediate focus), I'm positive the steps of the training series will help him. Also we have some weights that he can use on some basic weightlifting if he finds it more enjoyable.

Boxing drills and Bagwork- He more than once told me he would like to box, so maybe I'll borrow a few ideas by "Championship Boxing by Jack Dempsey" and from my MT experience. Damn, It would be realy cool to have him as sparring partner.

Stuff from Judo - While he is not that interested in Judo there's plenty of things there that we could use. And ofc I'll ask advise to my instructor who is also a physical education teacher.

Get him back to surfing - Some time ago I defied him to restart surfing and he agreed but that idea has not materialized yet. And thinking about it would probably better to have him in a better shape before that to decrease risks.

Thats just my first draft, I'll do a bit of research to get him a more concrete program and if someone here more experienced jere could give some advise I would be thankfull.

Sorry for the large wall of text

**Gypsy Jazz** · Posted On: 11/13/2012 7:15pm

Don't go overkill. Very very few people can stick to making more than one change in their lives at a time. Pick one activity that you think your brother will enjoy most and is easiest to maintain and have him do only that for a few weeks. If it's 1 exercise session a week, maybe make it 2 after 3 weeks or so. After another few weeks you can try adding one more activity.

You mention the inertia of starting, which means your head is already going this direction. Picking super easy to meet goals will get the momentum of success going and make harder life changes seem easier because he'd already be doing so well with other things.

For exercise itself, find a program that's already available and have him do that rather than trying to reinvent the wheel.

**TheRuss** · Posted On: 11/14/2012 1:41am

I suggest you approach it from the perspective of "what would he like to do" rather than "what would I like to do with him".

**Tonuzaba** · Posted On: 11/14/2012 5:31am

Good luck, Wolfskin, honestly.

First of all - don't blame yourself in case your brother gives up (let's hope he won't), as at the end of the day nobody can make important decisions for someone else. It's all between his two ears.

**erezb** · Posted On: 11/14/2012 5:47am

Make him quit smoking, especially if he has asthma. That is the most important thing right now, besides it will be so much easier for him to do cardio if he isn't smoking and drinking to much. If he is over 100 kilo and only 170, asthmatic and a smoker, i would start with walks..forget jogging for a while. If you want to make it more interesting you can walk with weights and also climb the stairs of some tall building together. Jogging is going to be too much. So, stop smoking, start walking for 30-40 minutes a few times a week. And reduce the kalorie intake.. He needs to drop like 20-30 kilos!!! If you can add some surffing together once a week, that is a great way to burn fat, just make him take the small waves a lot, so he has to paddle back all the time, and not die. All the best, tell him i said STOP SMOKING

**Wolfskin** · Posted On: 11/14/2012 11:39am

Thank you all for the advises and the support!

Originally Posted by Gypsy Jazz

Don't go overkill. (...) Pick one activity that you think your brother will enjoy most and is easiest to maintain and have him do only that for a few weeks.(...) For exercise itself, find a program that's already available and have him do that rather than trying to reinvent the wheel.

Good advise. I'll see if he wants to try the Convict Conditioning program since it have a nice progression and while cardio is not the main focus, I gess that if he concentrates for a while on doing lots of reps from the early steps (low intensity exercises) it'll do the trick. I'll also try to find out some programs more specific to recovering cardio-respiratory system and if possible to asthmatics.

Originally Posted by TheRuss

I suggest you approach it from the perspective of "what would he like to do" rather than "what would I like to do with him".

Sure, I just want to have some hypotesis to propose him, but ofc the priority is him enjoing the program since the will to continue must be his.

Originally Posted by Tonuzaba

Good luck, Wolfskin, honestly. (...) It's all between his two ears.

Ofc, but I'll do my best to help him keep motivated and I'll keep in touch with his gf so she can help on that since the interest is also hers.

Originally Posted by erezb

Make him (...) forget jogging for a while. (...) All the best, tell him i said STOP SMOKING

While I would realy like to seem him stop smoking and adopting healthier habits It must be his own decision. I'll try to give him reasons to change attitude but as Tonuzaba said the real change must hapen between his ears. Pressure him usualy ends on very bad results. Also no jogging for now then.

**Dickhead** · Posted On: 12/01/2012 8:40pm

Just my two cents, but don't have him go heavy on the weights at first. Do a little bit of jogging everyday or every other day, til he feels comfortable going farther. Also, everyday do some basic calisthenics and body weight exercises. Once he can meet some very basic minimums in terms of body weight exercises (maybe 150 pushups in an hour, get him to be able to do 10 or 15 pullups without wanting to collapse), and has lost some of the fat, then have him get on the weights. Write him a workout program to start out, depending on his goals. And be open to his input. If he feels like it's moving too fast, take back the intensity of your workouts. If he feels ready to do more, encourage him. And try your best to keep him feeling positive about it, and when he gets bored or wants to give up on the whole thing, motivate him.

**Annas** · Posted On: 1/31/2013 4:30am

hmmn Change is the law of nature. But it hardly applies to our habits when we are addicted to some of the bad habits as you have told about your brother. But if he really want to work out then first make him determined to the word and then go and read some good blogs and health magazines. Make him to have some hygienic diets and use some good and quality Antibacterial bath soap

**Bezmond** · Posted On: 1/31/2013 5:06am

Originally Posted by Annas

hmmn Change is the law of nature. But it hardly applies to our habits when we are addicted to some of the bad habits as you have told about your brother. But if he really want to work out then first make him determined to the word and then go and read some good blogs and health magazines. Make him to have some hygienic diets and use some good and quality Antibacterial bath soap

So basically just read some magazines in the bath yeah?