Aikido, fish and chips and a screwdriver in the ribcage

**Tonuzaba** · Posted On: 2/12/2013 3:31am

Finally, aikido working in the street:
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-21410565

"Wisbech attackers 'fought off by landlord holding chips'

Mr Wood's fiancee texted him to say "be careful"
A pub landlord trained in martial arts has said he fought off four attackers without dropping his fish and chips.

John Wood, 37, said he was stabbed with a screwdriver while walking back to his car from Frank's fish and chip shop in Wisbech, Cambridgeshire.

Mr Wood, who runs a pub in Marshland St James in Norfolk, said he "disabled" two men by kicking them in the knees.

He said by coincidence his fiancee texted him while the robbery was happening, urging him to be careful.

'Dangerous out there'
Mr Wood, who learned the Japanese art of Aikido as a teenager, said he was approached by four young men on Thursday as he walked down an alleyway close to Lynn Road at about 21:00 BST.

"They said 'we want your wallet' and then my phone rang and they said 'we'll have your phone as well'," he said.

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If they had stabbed me one inch over it would have hit my liver and my lung and someone would have found me bleeding in an alleyway instead”

John Wood
"The irony was it was my fiancee who messaged me saying, 'be careful - it's dangerous out there'.

"I said, 'If you want it, you'll have to come and get it'."He said he managed to kick the first two men in the knees and, using one hand, fought off the third.

A fourth man then stabbed him in his chest but he said he wrestled the screwdriver off him before throwing it away.

'Really scary'
Mr Wood said he drove home and ate his fish and chips - which he managed to keep in one hand the whole time without dropping anything - before telling his partner about the incident.

"I do feel lucky - if they had stabbed me one inch over it would have hit my liver and my lung and someone would have found me bleeding in an alleyway instead," he said.

His fiancee Claire Upton said: "I texted him because it was dark and you do worry about these things, but you don't expect them to happen to someone you know.

"It wasn't bleeding profusely and he refused to go to hospital but he eventually drove himself there because he said it felt odd. It was really scary."

Cambridgeshire Police said they were contacted by the Queen Elizabeth Hospital in King's Lynn to say Mr Wood had been stabbed and have appealed for witnesses.
"

**jdempsey** · Posted On: 2/12/2013 6:15am

Sounds like a Steven Seagull story. I'd to hear from any witnesses.

**Azatdawn** · Posted On: 2/12/2013 8:12am

I was just going to post this. The Aikido part makes me think that this is an eloborate joke someone was playing on bullshido.

Anyway, there's an Aikido technique that teaches you to kick someone in the knee? Sweet.

**Resonance10** · Posted On: 2/12/2013 8:22am

From:http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-21410565

What gets me about this sort of story is how it hypes up MA completely with no apparent justification. 'Martial Arts'= awesome magic powers.
We aren't told how long he trained or if he still trains, indeed his training is mentioned in past tense.
Apparently he 'learned' Aikido as a teen and that has a connection to his current abilities to defend his dinner at age 37..
If this is true good luck to the bloke but he needs a lesson or two in common sense, or he could have just acted in panic and forgot he had another arm available..which I think is more likely.

A pub landlord trained in martial arts has said he fought off four attackers without dropping his fish and chips.
John Wood, 37, said he was stabbed with a screwdriver while walking back to his car from Frank's fish and chip shop in Wisbech, Cambridgeshire.
Mr Wood, who runs a pub in Marshland St James in Norfolk, said he "disabled" two men by kicking them in the knees.
He said by coincidence his fiancee texted him while the robbery was happening, urging him to be careful.
'Dangerous out there' Mr Wood, who learned the Japanese art of aikido as a teenager, said he was approached by four young men on Thursday as he walked down an alleyway close to Lynn Road at about 21:00 GMT.
"They said, 'We want your wallet' and then my phone rang and they said, 'We'll have your phone as well'," he said.

"The irony was it was my fiancee who messaged me saying, 'be careful - it's dangerous out there'.
"I said, 'If you want it, you'll have to come and get it'."He said he managed to kick the first two men in the knees and, using one hand, fought off the third.
A fourth man then stabbed him in his chest but he said he wrestled the screwdriver off him before throwing it away.
'Really scary' Mr Wood said he drove home and ate his fish and chips - which he managed to keep in one hand the whole time without dropping anything - before telling his partner about the incident.
"I do feel lucky - if they had stabbed me one inch over it would have hit my liver and my lung and someone would have found me bleeding in an alleyway instead," he said.
His fiancee Claire Upton said: "I texted him because it was dark and you do worry about these things, but you don't expect them to happen to someone you know.
"It wasn't bleeding profusely and he refused to go to hospital but he eventually drove himself there because he said it felt odd. It was really scary."
Cambridgeshire Police said they were contacted by the Queen Elizabeth Hospital in King's Lynn to say Mr Wood had been stabbed and have appealed for witnesses.

Segal is the first google image when I typed in 'fat Aikidoka'.
Eat your chips!

**Tonuzaba** · Posted On: 2/12/2013 8:26am

Originally Posted by Azatdawn

...there's an Aikido technique that teaches you to kick someone in the knee?

Not that I know of.

But there sure must be a ton of techniques to balance fish and chips in your hands... /insert random obese Seagal pic/ :-D

**Resonance10** · Posted On: 2/12/2013 8:27am

Originally Posted by Azatdawn

I was just going to post this. The Aikido part makes me think that this is an eloborate joke someone was playing on bullshido.

Anyway, there's an Aikido technique that teaches you to kick someone in the knee? Sweet.

Feck I did just post this..arse!

**Cake of Doom** · Posted On: 2/12/2013 8:29am

Someone beat you to it. No matter how many times I read it, it still sounds silly. Not because it's Aikido but because it sounds like you'd tell your mates for a wind up.

**Resonance10** · Posted On: 2/12/2013 8:51am

Originally Posted by Cake of Doom

Someone beat you to it. No matter how many times I read it, it still sounds silly. Not because it's Aikido but because it sounds like you'd tell your mates for a wind up.

Yeah I know... damn my slow clumsy fingers!

It sounds like BS to me, it sounds like they needed some shitty 'everyday bloke' story or something.

**Chili Pepper** · Posted On: 2/12/2013 9:44am

Originally Posted by jdempsey

Sounds like a Steven Seagull story. I'd to hear from any witnesses.

That's exactly what I was thinking. The only testament to his Amazing Tales of Street-Fighting Puissance are from him.

**Bezmond** · Posted On: 2/12/2013 10:26am

Maybe the guy was just hard as **** and his assailants were pathetic, inept weaklings. The Aikido is purely incidental and included to give the story flavour.

The only time I have been mugged by 4 guys, I had craftily already spent all my money on booze, thus anesthetizing the kicking I received and meaning that they had less than 2 pounds to share between them. I also felt justified in taking a couple of days off work.