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  1. OwlMatt is offline

    Registered Member

    Join Date
    Jan 2010
    Location
    Milwaukee, WI
    Posts
    890

    Posted On:
    8/29/2013 9:39pm


     Style: aikido

    15
    Hell yeah! Hell no!

    John Cleese is on Facebook, and that is a great thing

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    ALERTS TO THREATS

    IN 2013 EUROPE

    From JOHN CLEESE

    The English are feeling the pinch in relation to recent events in Syria and have therefore raised their security level from "Miffed" to "Peeved." Soon, though, security levels may be raised yet again to "Irritated" or even "A Bit Cross." The English have not been "A Bit Cross" since the blitz in 1940 when tea supplies nearly ran out. Terrorists have been re-categorized from "Tiresome" to "A Bloody Nuisance." The last time the British issued a "Bloody Nuisance" warning level was in 1588, when threatened by the Spanish Armada.

    The Scots have raised their threat level from "Pissed Off" to "Let's get the Bastards." They don't have any other levels. This is the reason they have been used on the front line of the British army for the last 300 years.

    The French government announced yesterday that it has raised its terror alert level from "Run" to "Hide." The only two higher levels in France are "Collaborate" and "Surrender." The rise was precipitated by a recent fire that destroyed France 's white flag factory, effectively paralyzing the country's military capability.

    Italy has increased the alert level from "Shout Loudly and Excitedly" to "Elaborate Military Posturing." Two more levels remain: "Ineffective Combat Operations" and "Change Sides."

    The Germans have increased their alert state from "Disdainful Arrogance" to "Dress in Uniform and Sing Marching Songs." They also have two higher levels: "Invade a Neighbour" and "Lose."

    Belgians, on the other hand, are all on holiday as usual; the only threat they are worried about is NATO pulling out of Brussels ..

    The Spanish are all excited to see their new submarines ready to deploy. These beautifully designed subs have glass bottoms so the new Spanish navy can get a really good look at the old Spanish navy.

    Australia, meanwhile, has raised its security level from "No worries" to "She'll be right, Mate." Two more escalation levels remain: "Crikey! I think we'll need to cancel the barbie this weekend!" and "The barbie is cancelled." So far no situation has ever warranted use of the last final escalation level.


    Regards,
    John Cleese ,
    British writer, actor and tall person


    And as a final thought - Greece is collapsing, the Iranians are getting aggressive, and Rome is in disarray. Welcome back to 430 BC.
  2. catfishaggie is offline

    Registered Member

    Join Date
    Dec 2008
    Location
    Dallas, Tx
    Posts
    700

    Posted On:
    8/31/2013 12:02am


     Style: BJJ

    3
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    "Some things in life are bad they can really make you mad
    Other things just make you swear and curse
    When you're chewin' on life's gristle, don't grumble give a whistle
    And this'll help things turn out for the best

    And always look on the bright side of life
    Always look on the light side of life

    If life seems jolly rotten there's something you've forgotten
    And that's to laugh and smile and dance and sing
    When you're feeling in the dumps don't be silly chumps
    Just purse your lips and whistle, that's the thing

    And always look on the bright side of life
    Come on, always look on the bright side of life

    For life is quite absurd and death's the final word
    You must always face the curtain with a bow
    Forget about your sin, give the audience a grin
    Enjoy it it's your last chance anyhow

    So always look on the bright side of death
    Just before you draw your terminal breath

    Life's a piece of **** when you look at it
    Life's a laugh and death's a joke it's true
    You'll see it's all a show keep 'em laughing as you go
    Just remember that the last laugh is on you

    And always look on the bright side of life
    Always look on the right side of life"


    Come on you know you want to sing with me on this one....
  3. Eddie Hardon is offline

    Senior Member

    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    Location
    London
    Posts
    2,502

    Posted On:
    8/31/2013 3:50pm

    Join us... or die
     Style: Trad Ju Jitsu

    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    ...as written by Eric Idle.
  4. ermghoti is offline
    ermghoti's Avatar

    Middleweight

    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    Location
    OW, MY KNEE
    Posts
    2,345

    Posted On:
    9/01/2013 11:04am

    supporting member
     Style: BJJ+Sanda

    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    Quote Originally Posted by Eddie Hardon View Post
    ...as written by Eric Idle.
    20 or so years ago
    Quote Originally Posted by strikistanian View Post
    DROP SEIONAGI ************! Except I don't know Judo, so it doesn't work, and he takes my back.
    Quote Originally Posted by Devil
    Why is it so goddamn hard to find a video of it? I've seen videos I'm pretty sure are alien spacecraft. But still no good Krav.

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