What do you do if someone is insulting your wife/girlfriend?

**Tom .C** · Posted On: 12/02/2012 5:29pm

Originally Posted by battlefields

I suppose this means I can't wander around naked anymore.

Just keep it in the comedy forum and you'll be fine

**XXIV** · Posted On: 12/02/2012 5:37pm

Originally Posted by battlefields

I suppose this means I can't wander around naked anymore.

Aw, no my sweet battlefields. I go to open hockey sometimes where we only have one locker room and I have to get changed with all the dudes. I've seen much.

**Dickhead** · Posted On: 12/02/2012 5:59pm

Originally Posted by XXIV

As a bona fide Grade A Government Inspected girlfriend, I'd just punch said insulter in his mouth myself. Hurrah.

May I just say that your av is lovely!
But my advice works for you too. Finger jab to eyes, snap kick to groin, straight right, left hook, right uppercut. If he continues to insult your girlfriend, unkeester you're 1911 and fill his head with 4 mags of Critical Defense jhps. Then urinate on his corpse. If he STILL insists on insulting you, light your pansy ass do-nothing boyfriend on fire and throw 'him' at the insulter.

**XXIV** · Posted On: 12/02/2012 6:17pm

Originally Posted by Dickhead

May I just say that your av is lovely!

Thanks Dickhead! Painted it myself.

Originally Posted by Dickhead

But my advice works for you too. Finger jab to eyes, snap kick to groin, straight right, left hook, right uppercut. If he continues to insult your girlfriend, unkeester you're 1911 and fill his head with 4 mags of Critical Defense jhps. Then urinate on his corpse. If he STILL insists on insulting you, light your pansy ass do-nothing boyfriend on fire and throw 'him' at the insulter.

It's critical I get the urinating part right. Do I squat down and drop my trousers or try to spray standing up? I don't want to perform the wrong... oshikko waza... and ruin my d3adly str33t cred.

**Dickhead** · Posted On: 12/02/2012 6:43pm

If you're wearing a skirt, just lift it over your head and spray piss everywhere. If you're wearing trousers, drop them and squat. Maybe you can squeeze out some turds too. Your bf may not appreciate you exposing yourself in public, but that's what he gets for making you do his fighting for him.

Originally Posted by XXIV

Thanks Dickhead! Painted it myself.

It's critical I get the urinating part right. Do I squat down and drop my trousers or try to spray standing up? I don't want to perform the wrong... oshikko waza... and ruin my d3adly str33t cred.

**Rivington** · Posted On: 12/02/2012 11:20pm

Is it okay to carry a jar of urine for this sort of thing?

**cualltaigh** · Posted On: 12/02/2012 11:30pm

Originally Posted by Rivington

Is it okay to carry a jar of urine for this sort of thing?

Maybe a plastic sport/drink bottle so you can replicate a stream?

***battlefields*** · Posted On: 12/02/2012 11:31pm

Originally Posted by Rivington

Is it okay to carry a jar of urine for this sort of thing?

You can use the urine you carry around for other purposes, I imagine. I suppose, though, you'd have to refill for your original purpose and it just feels wrong when you've gone to the trouble of allocating urine to a task and then you have to throw it on someone who insults your girlfriend. That's why I say keep a "self defence" bottle on hand at all times.