Restating Movie Plots

**Goa Tse** · Posted On: 11/30/2012 4:42pm

Boondock Saints - A local businessman falsely accused of involvement with the underworld struggles to demonstrate his innocence in court when a trio of delusionally religious vigilantes who have killed all his friends burst in and shoot-up the place. Ends with faux-commentary showing a variety of feelings that people have about these spree-killer vigilantes.

Bad Taste - Workers for a food conglomerate wind up in deep trouble when recently-discovered delicious wildlife turns out to be far more dangerous than it looks.

In the Mouth of Madness - A Lovecraft-like popular horror writer goes on a personal journey of transformation, self-discovery, and empowerment while his publishers attempt to bring him back to promote his new book.

Bad Lieutenant - ...Yeah, I got nothing.

The Human Centipede - A visionary German scientist attempts to solve world hunger but is shut down by a reactionary and unappreciative establishment. Undaunted, he continues his research in private.

**W. Rabbit** · Posted On: 11/30/2012 4:53pm

Originally Posted by Permalost

Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom: Omega and Sirc fly to India in search of the real kalaripayyit, but poor Hindi skills lead them on a quest for rocks.

Wow....now you've ensured I can never, ever watch this movie again without thinking of Sirc as Short Round.

Damn you.

**TheMightyMcClaw** · Posted On: 12/01/2012 6:17pm

The Dark Knight Rises:
A proletarian uprising is brutally suppressed by a leading member of the entrenched elite.
The Legend of Korra:
A proletarian uprising is brutally suppressed by a leading member of the entrenched elite.

**Styygens** · Posted On: 12/01/2012 7:21pm

(Original) Star Wars Trilogy: Government overspends on defense and high-tech weapons, only to be defeated by terrorists and insurgents resorting to asymmetric warfare.

**Dickhead** · Posted On: 12/01/2012 8:48pm

Blade-A drunk old cripple recruits an angry, psychotic, steroid abusing ninja. He manipulates the schizoid ninja into waging a terror campaign against ravers, police officers, Japanese food enthusiasts, police officers, and hospitalized burn victims.

**Dickhead** · Posted On: 12/01/2012 9:08pm

8 Mile- a young man struggles with racial identity issues.
Silence of the Lambs- an older man struggles with gender identity issues.
Psycho- the heartwarming tale of a man who finds purpose and meaning in life following the death of his beloved mother.
Robocop- a police officer struggles with the aftermath of being shot apart when his partner proves that she would rather stare at a criminal's genitals than assist her brothers in blue.
Entire Friday the 13th film series- in a franchise that grew out of the old 'and that's one to grow on' commercials, a dogooder admonishes teens on the dangers of promiscuous sex, drug use, telling bad jokes, overeating, and bullying retarded kids.

**Monsieur** · Posted On: 12/02/2012 1:11am

The Lion King - A gay jewish lion tries to use his standing as a member of the royal family end the apartheid in Africa, and bring about equal rights for lions and hyenas. However, he is violently opposed by his racist macho brother and conservative royalist nephew, who are both hellbent on preserving racial segregation and patriarchy.

**Dickhead** · Posted On: 12/02/2012 11:34am

Sleeping Beauty- Demented Backstreet Boy takes advantage of rufied young woman.

**Neo Sigma** · Posted On: 12/02/2012 3:15pm

Equilibrium- A crew of lazy scriptwriters get drunk and do coke until the day before their deadline, at which point they freak out. Suddenly, one of them has a brilliant idea- he tears the pages out of half of Fahrenheit 451 and half of 1984, sticks them together as a script, and sells it to the studio because their target demographic can't read anyway.

**Holy Moment** · Posted On: 12/02/2012 6:02pm

Henry, Portrait of a Serial Killer: Two uneducated fucks come into my store and bullshit me about buying a TV they can't even afford.

Spider-Man 2: I'm going to put my foot through Peter Parker's ass the next time he tries to sell me a photo. That bastard ran off with my son's fiance on the day of the fucking wedding!

Batman Returns: Some neurotic, rich douchebag ruins Christmas in Gotham by publicly beating the **** out of an overworked secretary and a deformed midget.

Twin Peaks, Fire Walk With Me: In a tale of forbidden love, a downtrodden forest nymph vainly tries to win the affections of a popular highschool girl.