Restating Movie Plots

[submessenger]

Resident Evil: burgeoning race fights for survival against commerce, industrialism.

Hot Fuzz: thirty-somethings explore the boundaries of their friendship, good taste.

Intermission: brown sauce solves many problems.

[battlefields]

Dirty Harry: A criminal wonders if the pursuing officer shot his gun 5 or 6 times, with hilarious results!

[Devil]

Any of the Batman movies from Commissioner Gordon's perspective:

Okay, let's see. What am I going to do? I've got a city full of crazy motherfuckers. I mean real crazy motherfuckers. Straight up villains. Like from a comic book. Then I've got this other meth addict running around dressed up like a fucking bat.

I can't stop any of these cocksuckers because I suck at being a police. At least the delusional bat one acts like he wants to be my friend. Maybe I'll get lucky and he'll kill off all the other escaped mental patients before he gets hacked to death.

Most importantly, I need to find a way to get through this **** without looking stupid. I'll be retired in two years and all these faggots can go **** a football.

[battlefields]

Time Cop:

A roller blading bag snatcher is bewildered by a man standing in the middle of the mall with his leg in the air, so much so that his conscience gets the better of him and he realises the folly of his ways, studying to become a minister at a church and taking a missionary position in Uganda.

[cualltaigh]

Up.

Whilst attempting to perform his duties, a boy scout is abducted by a deranged old man and retreats into a fantasy world full of talking dogs and exotic wildlife to cope with the ordeal of his abduction.

[It is Fake]

Toy Story 3 Mom:
*Sniff* My son is off to college. *sniff* Hell yeah, no more toy clean up and dirty semen stained underwear..

[battlefields]

Transformers:

The Autobots infiltrate and regather their forces on an insignificant planet, gaining the support of its inhabitants who are unaware of the devastating effect that the Autobots' radiation has on the Ozone layer. In order to prevent a catastrophic global extinction event, the Decepticons mobilise in order to free Earth of the disease that knowingly infects it. A modern day spy thriller where nothing is as it seems, the very people the Decepticons are trying to save seem hell bent on stopping them as the Autobots feed Earth's inhabitants falsities about their home planet.

[DKJr]

A group of explorers leave their retarded shipmate stranded on a foreign planet of hostile alien beings who only feed him candy.

-ET

[battlefields]

42 seagulls, 74 toothpicks, 97 tiles, 334 metres, 7728km, 14 cars, 24 car spots, 16 steps, 9 overhead wires, 98 sheets of toilet paper, must go now must go now must go now, nyyyyyyeeeeeehhhhhhrrrrr, nyyyyyyyeeeeehhhhrrrrr

The Rain Man.

[DKJr]

A group of battle hardened veterans attempt to stop an escaped alien human hybrid from spreading mayhem in the slums of Johannesburg.

-District 9

A group of rebel fighters attempt to put an end the the tyrant invading their lands.

-Lincoln

Several heads of state are assassinated in a plot formed by a group of religiously motivated terrorists and their crazed Hillbilly leader.

-Inglorious Basterds