Restating Movie Plots

**Permalost** · Posted On: 11/26/2012 7:41pm

Ms Doubtfire: a dad teaches his son that its okay to dress up as women if you really feel it in your heart

Snatch: a bunch of hogs get the buffet of their lives.

The Breakfast Club: a power struggle unfolds between the authoritative yet ignorant prinicpal, and the menial yet informed janitor.

Ghostbusters: the mayor of New York battles a group of paranormal fringe lunatics who want to maintain a nuclear device in urban New York.

Jaws: a bunch of people look like seals while swimming, until the climax where a fishing boat looks like a gigantic seal.

Sharktopus: a film company executive's spoiled son throws a tantrum until they make his flip book into a movie

Fight Club: a corporate shill is haunted by the ghost of himself during his 2nd year of college

The Producers: movie producers search for a reason to make "Springtime for Hitler", while telling the story of the search for a reason to make "Springtime for Hitler".

Jason and the Argonauts: A group of smugglers scavenge the Mediterranean for clay artifacts, until the clay comes to life and fights them!

**Mr. Machette** · Posted On: 11/26/2012 7:57pm

Spartacus, Blood and Sand:

The story of how a once great ludus is incrementally brought down from within by the excedingly poor, non-sensical and selfish life descisions of Rome's dumbest gladiator slave.

Leaving Las Vegas:

Nicholas Cage returns to provide closure to the story of his characters obviously ill fated marriage in the film Honeymoon in Vegas.

X-Men:

A super powered holocaust survivors srtuggles to unite the reviled mutants in mutal defense against a new fascist threat, but is stymied at every turn by some bald jack-hole in a wheel chair and his crew of brick-dumb fifth collumn collaborators.

**submessenger** · Posted On: 11/26/2012 8:08pm

Shoot 'em Up: abducted orphan learns there are only two things better than breastmilk: bullets and carrots.

Master and Commander: rogue Navy captain finds his love of a man outweighs his love of victory.

**It is Fake** · Posted On: 11/26/2012 8:13pm

Die Hard with a Vengeance from the sons:
**** School!

**submessenger** · Posted On: 11/26/2012 8:28pm

Se7en: ambitious package delivery boy bucks for promotion.

**It is Fake** · Posted On: 11/26/2012 8:33pm

Life of Pi Tiger:
Damn I'm Wet! Damn I'm Hungry! Damn I'm Starving! Damn that Boy smells tasty! Damn that stick! Damn I'm Hungry! Damn I'm Thirsty! Damn I'm wet! Land! Damn I'm Hungry! Damn I'm Sick! Damn I'm Hungry! LAND! Jungle! **** you and that stick!!!

***battlefields*** · Posted On: 11/26/2012 8:47pm

Madagascar from the freight company manager's perspective:

****.

**Middlefinger** · Posted On: 11/26/2012 8:48pm

Juice is about a young aspiring DJ who spends his days in the arcade instead of the classroom. After robbing a local bodega with friends he finds himself in a deadly game of cat and mouse with Tupac Shakur.

***battlefields*** · Posted On: 11/26/2012 9:07pm

Alien 3 from the chest bursting Alien's perspective: Am I grown enough? Yeah, I'm pretty sure I'm grown enough. Jeez, Ripley, chill out, you do know that excessive exertion is bad for me, right? I mean, it's the goddamn future, right? There has to be guidelines for looking after your unborn, your kind has developed interstellar travel, I bet you're a long way past a Caesarian, technology wise. What's with all the running? Hey, stop holding your chest, I'm trying to break through here! RIPLEY, stop holding your goddamn chest! Oh for ****'s sake, why is it so fucking hot, that's it, I'm done, it's too hot and it's time for me to break out of this ribcage prison you've been keeping me in, dammit, move your hands away from your...oh, thanks... Ripley, why does it feel like we're weightless and falling? I'm going to take a look. RRRARARRRRRRAARRRRR, IT BURNS!!!