Thread: Insult Like A Chap
11/04/2012 2:41pm, #21
Asked for directions in Ireland, the reply came:
"I wouldn't start from here if I were you".
11/04/2012 2:50pm, #22
My grandmother Penny and my great aunt Hester were sitting, knitting and watching the Red Sox on a couch one day.
My aunt made a face, started rubbing the back of her ankle, and said "Hmm...my ankle is really starting to hurt".
My grandmother says "Well, It's got to start somewhere." What a pissa.
11/04/2012 2:58pm, #23
Oh, if we're doing "**** My Grandparents Said..."
Keep in mind, my grandmother was increasingly immobile for a couple decades, leaving her an invalid for a period of many years, most due to sciatica.
"Ow! You bumped me, watch what you're doing."
"Couldn't help it, you're too fat to walk around. You should lose weight."
"I have an idea that will rid me of about 250 of unsightly fat immediately. [glares]"
"What, you're going to cut off your foot?"
One of his rare wins.
11/04/2012 5:31pm, #24
I had a book when I was younger called The Portable Curmudgeon. It had quotes on a veritable dictionary of topics from Curmudgeons worldwide and historical. I wish I still had that book, it was a great reference.GET A RED BELT OR DIE TRYIN'.