Praise God and pass the ammunition

**TEA** · Posted On: 10/08/2012 8:36am

I would think that a donkey would be better than a horse after teh pokilypse. Sure, not as fast or as sexy as a horse, but they are hardier than horses, so would require less of the upkeep that Senior Tortelli has pointed out. In other words, Sancho Panza would be better of than Don Quixote.

So, who is stocking up on porn for the pokilypse? Once everyone loses power, DVDs won't be worth **** except as shiny targets for target practice, I'm stocking up on magazines as they will be the worth their weight in gold as barter items with the biker hordes that will rule the waste land ala Mad Max.

**Ignorami** · Posted On: 10/08/2012 8:42am

Why would they barter for what they can take from you?

Or if they can't because they are some kind of biker pussies, why not take what you want from them?

**TEA** · Posted On: 10/08/2012 8:50am

Originally Posted by Ignorami

Why would they barter for what they can take from you?

Or if they can't because they are some kind of biker pussies, why not take what you want from them?

Hmmm, good point. (grumbles and stumbles off to go rethink EOTWAWKI plans and to post add for second hand porn on E-Bay)

**Styygens** · Posted On: 10/08/2012 9:45am

Originally Posted by Ignorami

Why would they barter for what they can take from you?

Or if they can't because they are some kind of biker pussies, why not take what you want from them?

Okay, so during the last Dark Age in Europe, there was this thing called a comitatus, a "king's" sworn warband. See how when Beowulf shows up to kill Grendel he's got friends along?

That's his comitatus. They help sail the ship, haul it up on shore, compose and sing his praises (~0:46 in this next)...

...Haul off treasure, and act as ablative armor in battle. Beowulf's in charge, but he's got his posse with him. You see, it's a lot easier to take what you want and keep what you need if you have friends and family to help you with these actions.

But do you think these guys hang on Beowulf because he's a handsome, strong man? No. They do it because he's the "ring-giver": he hands out rewards. He keeps them loyal by dividing up the spoil, and sharing all the women who throw themselves at his awesome manliness.

So, IMHO, it makes sense to stock up on commodities so you can hand them out to your warband. You're still going to have to be the meanest M-F'er of the bunch so they don't take it from you. You're going to have to be smart about finding new villages to raid and pillage, you're going to have to play politics in the group so they're either all like brothers, or too busy stabbing each other in the back to gang up on you.

But any way you cut it, you need to have some treasure to divy up to buy the loyalty of your post-apocalyptic warband. Girlie magazines seem like a critical component of your starter stash.

**Ignorami** · Posted On: 10/08/2012 9:50am

Hmmmm

Stygen's new words make Hulk think again.

***DerAuslander*** · Posted On: 10/08/2012 10:22am

Originally Posted by Styygens

Okay, so during the last Dark Age in Europe, there was this thing called a comitatus, a "king's" sworn warband. See how when Beowulf shows up to kill Grendel he's got friends along?

That's his comitatus. They help sail the ship, haul it up on shore, compose and sing his praises (~0:46 in this next)...

...Haul off treasure, and act as ablative armor in battle. Beowulf's in charge, but he's got his posse with him. You see, it's a lot easier to take what you want and keep what you need if you have friends and family to help you with these actions.

But do you think these guys hang on Beowulf because he's a handsome, strong man? No. They do it because he's the "ring-giver": he hands out rewards. He keeps them loyal by dividing up the spoil, and sharing all the women who throw themselves at his awesome manliness.

So, IMHO, it makes sense to stock up on commodities so you can hand them out to your warband. You're still going to have to be the meanest M-F'er of the bunch so they don't take it from you. You're going to have to be smart about finding new villages to raid and pillage, you're going to have to play politics in the group so they're either all like brothers, or too busy stabbing each other in the back to gang up on you.

But any way you cut it, you need to have some treasure to divy up to buy the loyalty of your post-apocalyptic warband. Girlie magazines seem like a critical component of your starter stash.

Why do you apes think this mofo is in my band?

**doofaloofa** · Posted On: 10/08/2012 11:50am

Originally Posted by Bodhi108

Why do you apes think this mofo is in my band?

Would that be Team Sausagefest?

**goodlun** · Posted On: 10/08/2012 12:27pm

Originally Posted by TEA

So, who is stocking up on porn for the pokilypse? Once everyone loses power, DVDs won't be worth **** except as shiny targets for target practice, I'm stocking up on magazines as they will be the worth their weight in gold as barter items with the biker hordes that will rule the waste land ala Mad Max.

I for one plan on having electricity.
Hell if all my neighbors around here kill there zombie bodies then build one hell of a solar powered battle wagon.
Also this

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***DerAuslander*** · Posted On: 10/08/2012 12:35pm

Originally Posted by doofaloofa

Would that be Team Sausagefest?

You obviously read neither my nor Styygens' posts about the Wiccan chicks, did you?

**Styygens** · Posted On: 10/08/2012 3:00pm

Originally Posted by goodlun

I for one plan on having electricity.
Hell if all my neighbors around here kill there zombie bodies then build one hell of a solar powered battle wagon.

Harness the zombies to a treadmill which turns a generator.