The big "D".

**Charles Brown** · Posted On: 9/04/2012 7:40pm

So, which of you guys have been through it? I've been hitched for 12 years. I have a 6 year old girl and a 4 year old boy. All evidence points towards a divorce, in the near future. How'd you keep from getting screwed? How'd you get ample time with your kids? I know that I'm fucked financially. She hasn't worked in years. She's going to rape my paycheck. I guess that I'm OK with that, but I want to see my kids as much as possible. What can you tell me?

**hungryjoe** · Posted On: 9/04/2012 7:52pm

Get a damn good lawyer. Seriously. Your lawyer will hopefully be well known to the judge by having practiced before him/her often.

Start documenting anything you think will help your case.

Try to make the split as amicable as possible.

Hopefully, the experts will be with you shortly.

Good luck. Divorce sucks when there are kids involved.

***Omega Supreme*** · Posted On: 9/04/2012 7:53pm

Originally Posted by hungryjoe

Get a damn good lawyer. Seriously. Your lawyer will hopefully be well known to the judge by having practiced before him/her often.

Start documenting anything you think will help your case.

Try to make the split as amicable as possible.

Hopefully, the experts will be with you shortly.

Good luck. Divorce sucks when there are kids involved.

What he said.

**dflanmod** · Posted On: 9/04/2012 8:03pm

If you think there's a chance you can do this through mediation and end things amicably then I would suggest doing so.

If it's going to be ugly then definately get a lawyer.

With my divorce things started very amicably and it took four years for things to go to ****. So initially neither of us used lawyers as we were able to agree on everything. Now it's a totally differemt story and next go around in court I will def be needing a lawyer.

Down side to lawyers is that you can end up getting bled dry by your lawyers as your case stretches out to infinity.

**Charles Brown** · Posted On: 9/04/2012 8:09pm

I would love nothing more than for things to be amicable. But, last night, she suggested that the solution to our problems lies in my government issued 40 caliber pistol. That's kind of fucked up, no matter how you look at it.

Originally Posted by dflanmod

If you think there's a chance you can do this through mediation and end things amicably then I would suggest doing so.

If it's going to be ugly then definitely get a lawyer.

With my divorce things started very amicably and it took four years for things to go to ****. So initially neither of us used lawyers as we were able to agree on everything. Now it's a totally different story and next go around in court I will def be needing a lawyer.

Down side to lawyers is that you can end up getting bled dry by your lawyers as your case stretches out to infinity.

**Sam Browning** · Posted On: 9/04/2012 8:16pm

Then Charlie, you need to make a note as to when it happened, and the next time it happened you should ask her not to make such comments because it indicates an intent to escalate the relationship into a violant confrontation, which is something you are not interested in. I would definately move your firearms out of the house immediately so she cannot do something horrible with them.

I see you are a LEO, I would talk to your supervisor, assuming he is not a total dick and notify him that you are no longer storing your weapon at your house and ask that an exception to your department's regulations be made.

Oh, and lawyering up immediately is a good idea. Especially since she might try to get a TRO against you which will hurt your career.

**It is Fake** · Posted On: 9/04/2012 8:17pm

Get a lawyer and ignore that ****. Start keeping a journal of these comments. Sorry, I know things can be hard, but you need to just give her a look, a safe comment and walk off. I don't give a **** what any whiners will say, the system is geared for women to control your kids and visitation. I'm not saying don't fight for your rights, I am saying don't take the bait and think of your kids.

**hungryjoe** · Posted On: 9/04/2012 8:24pm

Originally Posted by It is Fake

I don't give a **** what any whiners will say, the system is geared for women to control your kids and visitation. I'm not saying don't fight for your rights, I am saying don't take the bait and think of your kids.

Quoted for emphasis.

**itwasntme** · Posted On: 9/04/2012 9:01pm

Originally Posted by It is Fake

the system is geared for women to control your kids and visitation.

Ok, could you elaborate on this? In what ways is the system geared for women to control everything?

I realise most every court system will only take the child from it's mother in the worst of scenarios, but I have heard of plenty of places that are father friendly in that the judges lean more towards a split custody agreement if that's what the father pursues (assuming there is no evident reason the father should be restricted in his custody).

**It is Fake** · Posted On: 9/04/2012 9:04pm

Originally Posted by itwasntme

Ok, could you elaborate on this? In what ways is the system geared for women to control everything?

I realise most every court system will only take the child from it's mother in the worst of scenarios, but I have heard of plenty of places that are father friendly in that the judges lean more towards a split custody agreement if that's what the father pursues (assuming there is no evident reason the father should be restricted in his custody).

Heard? You get those sources and I will change my mind. Oh and Joint isn't always what you think.