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  1. Charles Brown is offline

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    Posted On:
    9/04/2012 7:40pm

    supporting member
     Style: DT Instructor

    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!

    The big "D".

    So, which of you guys have been through it? I've been hitched for 12 years. I have a 6 year old girl and a 4 year old boy. All evidence points towards a divorce, in the near future. How'd you keep from getting screwed? How'd you get ample time with your kids? I know that I'm fucked financially. She hasn't worked in years. She's going to rape my paycheck. I guess that I'm OK with that, but I want to see my kids as much as possible. What can you tell me?
    Last edited by Charles Brown; 9/04/2012 7:45pm at .
  2. hungryjoe is offline
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    Posted On:
    9/04/2012 7:52pm

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     Style: judo hiatus

    2
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    Get a damn good lawyer. Seriously. Your lawyer will hopefully be well known to the judge by having practiced before him/her often.

    Start documenting anything you think will help your case.

    Try to make the split as amicable as possible.

    Hopefully, the experts will be with you shortly.

    Good luck. Divorce sucks when there are kids involved.
  3. Omega Supreme is offline

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    Posted On:
    9/04/2012 7:53pm

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     Style: Chinese Boxing

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    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    Quote Originally Posted by hungryjoe View Post
    Get a damn good lawyer. Seriously. Your lawyer will hopefully be well known to the judge by having practiced before him/her often.

    Start documenting anything you think will help your case.

    Try to make the split as amicable as possible.

    Hopefully, the experts will be with you shortly.

    Good luck. Divorce sucks when there are kids involved.

    What he said.
  4. dflanmod is offline

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    Posted On:
    9/04/2012 8:03pm


     Style: BJJ

    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    If you think there's a chance you can do this through mediation and end things amicably then I would suggest doing so.

    If it's going to be ugly then definately get a lawyer.

    With my divorce things started very amicably and it took four years for things to go to ****. So initially neither of us used lawyers as we were able to agree on everything. Now it's a totally differemt story and next go around in court I will def be needing a lawyer.

    Down side to lawyers is that you can end up getting bled dry by your lawyers as your case stretches out to infinity.
  5. Charles Brown is offline

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    Posted On:
    9/04/2012 8:09pm

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    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    I would love nothing more than for things to be amicable. But, last night, she suggested that the solution to our problems lies in my government issued 40 caliber pistol. That's kind of fucked up, no matter how you look at it.

    Quote Originally Posted by dflanmod View Post
    If you think there's a chance you can do this through mediation and end things amicably then I would suggest doing so.

    If it's going to be ugly then definitely get a lawyer.

    With my divorce things started very amicably and it took four years for things to go to ****. So initially neither of us used lawyers as we were able to agree on everything. Now it's a totally different story and next go around in court I will def be needing a lawyer.

    Down side to lawyers is that you can end up getting bled dry by your lawyers as your case stretches out to infinity.
  6. Sam Browning is online now

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    Posted On:
    9/04/2012 8:16pm

    hall of famestaff
     

    -1
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    Then Charlie, you need to make a note as to when it happened, and the next time it happened you should ask her not to make such comments because it indicates an intent to escalate the relationship into a violant confrontation, which is something you are not interested in. I would definately move your firearms out of the house immediately so she cannot do something horrible with them.

    I see you are a LEO, I would talk to your supervisor, assuming he is not a total dick and notify him that you are no longer storing your weapon at your house and ask that an exception to your department's regulations be made.

    Oh, and lawyering up immediately is a good idea. Especially since she might try to get a TRO against you which will hurt your career.
    Last edited by Sam Browning; 9/04/2012 8:19pm at .
  7. It is Fake is offline
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    Posted On:
    9/04/2012 8:17pm

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     Style: xingyi

    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    Get a lawyer and ignore that ****. Start keeping a journal of these comments. Sorry, I know things can be hard, but you need to just give her a look, a safe comment and walk off. I don't give a **** what any whiners will say, the system is geared for women to control your kids and visitation. I'm not saying don't fight for your rights, I am saying don't take the bait and think of your kids.
  8. hungryjoe is offline
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    Posted On:
    9/04/2012 8:24pm

    supporting member
     Style: judo hiatus

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    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    Quote Originally Posted by It is Fake View Post
    I don't give a **** what any whiners will say, the system is geared for women to control your kids and visitation. I'm not saying don't fight for your rights, I am saying don't take the bait and think of your kids.
    Quoted for emphasis.
  9. itwasntme is offline
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    Posted On:
    9/04/2012 9:01pm

    supporting member
     Style: being less stupid

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    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    Quote Originally Posted by It is Fake View Post
    the system is geared for women to control your kids and visitation.
    Ok, could you elaborate on this? In what ways is the system geared for women to control everything?

    I realise most every court system will only take the child from it's mother in the worst of scenarios, but I have heard of plenty of places that are father friendly in that the judges lean more towards a split custody agreement if that's what the father pursues (assuming there is no evident reason the father should be restricted in his custody).
    Start a training log!

    Quote Originally Posted by Ming Loyalist View Post
    i really think that those who can't get their head around the bowing thing (because their angry sky daddy will punish them) don't deserve judo. life is full of choices, and if your bronze age superstitions are holding you back, so be it.
  10. It is Fake is offline
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    Posted On:
    9/04/2012 9:04pm

    staff
     Style: xingyi

    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    Quote Originally Posted by itwasntme View Post
    Ok, could you elaborate on this? In what ways is the system geared for women to control everything?

    I realise most every court system will only take the child from it's mother in the worst of scenarios, but I have heard of plenty of places that are father friendly in that the judges lean more towards a split custody agreement if that's what the father pursues (assuming there is no evident reason the father should be restricted in his custody).
    Heard? You get those sources and I will change my mind. Oh and Joint isn't always what you think.
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