Getting Less Mugged

**ermghoti** · Posted On: 9/06/2012 8:50am

Or that.

Or this:

**Bneterasedmynam** · Posted On: 9/06/2012 10:14am

Wtf?? Did he just use the piss myself defense tactic?? Everyone knows **** works better.

**DarkPhoenix** · Posted On: 9/06/2012 11:40am

Originally Posted by Devil

Convince people you're batshit crazy. How many bad guys pick the crazy ************ to rob? You already dress like a fucking mental patient, so you're halfway there. Maybe talk to yourself. No, not talk. Argue. Argue with yourself. And drool. You'll be good to go.

I saw Crispin Glover doing this in Penn Station. It kept me from going up to him and asking for an autograph and picture.

**ermghoti** · Posted On: 9/06/2012 11:40am

The key is to cover your valuables in the excreta. It's way more difficult to convincingly "accidentally" kick a poop down your pantleg, then fumble your wallet into it and smear it around. It's also dicey to load up a deuce and walk around in condition zero. Devil's in the details.

**W. Rabbit** · Posted On: 9/06/2012 12:23pm

You know I didn't know Wicked made this, but if you don't want to go the laser route, you could try a Torch Flashlight. Retails for $180.

This particular flashlight (the world's brightest) is a 4100 lumen monstrosity. A 3-D cell Maglite is, for comparison, a mere 131 lumens.

I think the self defense potential is obvious, if this flashlight were used on an assailant, especially at night.