Epic Ninjutsu Douchebaggery

[Mr. Machette]

Words can not describe. This guy scares me. Stone killer, mang. He's got a death fist and everything. A death fist? You can't $%*& with that! His armpit tickle is so strong it can knock a man off of his feet. His unique stealth techniques makes him completely invisible to women. He's got interpretive dance moves of ultimate demise!

National Geographic proudly presents Glen Levy, "A Journey to your own destruction"?


His preasure point technique proves devastating against attackers who fight like rag dolls on qualudes:


Yes! Douchey papyrus script intro for the win! But wait for it... @ 1:10, it looks like a cameo by CHOSON NINJA!




Mr. Levy spreads enlightenment and insight via his blog:
http://glenlevy.wordpress.com/

Aparently he'll make you a Shaolin monk too!

Glen is leading a Shaolin Initiation Bootcamp in New Zealand.
2 Days Of Wisdom, Challenging Beliefs And Profound New Techniques To Allow You To Obtain A Shaolin Monk Presence In Everything You Do’

My lord, he's the perfect being!

I'm so glad I'm not a crash test dummy. This dude would give me nightmares.

[battlefields]

Let me tell you one thing, that pressure point he pulled off on the first couple on the jaw wouldn't work on me. I've had those nerve clusters removed. The rest seems legit, though. Totally want to work with that guy.

[DerAuslander]

Why does his dojo look like random Korean dive bar front...and how can I contact his interior decorator?

[Pharabus]

seems legit, I often walk into a fight offering the inside of my elbow for manipulation, seems i need to train out of that habit

[W. Rabbit]

Techniques To Allow You To Obtain A Shaolin Monk Presence In Everything You Do’

This is funny stuff.

http://glenlevy.wordpress.com/2011/0...tion/#more-451

The name ‘Kung Fu’ literally means ‘Task Master’

I want to be able to share the many principles and exercises that strengthened my body and mind throughout the years that have helped me recover from injuries all the way from broken legs to being paralysed and back.

Paralyzed?

Not to over load you with kung fu sayings but, “Be supple, like a bamboo shoot, because the mighty oak is the first to be chopped down. When swung at, the bamboo flexes with the blow, flicking back at the axeman’s face. The oak resists, and looses pieces of itself with each swing of the axe. Be supple.”

Uh...is bamboo really that supple??

Remember, we must be supple of both body and mind. Like the bamboo, we should have an unwavering goal direction, which in the bamboos case is straight up

Bodiharma, the original mind behind Shaolin Kung Fu said, “
“Ami tu fo”

I had to read that twice before I realized....the way he spelled it, it's "Body Harma".

[DerAuslander]

I need to fly to Australia to challenge him to Dharma Combat.

[W. Rabbit]

I need to fly to Australia to challenge him to Dharma Combat.

Twenty bucks says he asks you to pay him first.

[Mr. Machette]

Cutting bamboo...



...ok then!

[BJMills]

Why does his dojo look like random Korean dive bar front...and how can I contact his interior decorator?

That used to be a Wushu school in LA, not too far from Korea town now that you mention is. But it closed down about a year ago.

[Mr. Machette]

Well, to his credit he's done stunt work in a lot of films and television programs.

That's pretty cool. It almost makes up for THIS:



Wait...

...no it doesn't...