Epic Ninjutsu Douchebaggery

**Robdogg** · Posted On: 8/30/2012 4:46pm

Not to over load you with kung fu sayings but, “Be supple, like a bamboo shoot

A lot of us eat bamboo shoots. Is he encouraging cannibalism?

**Mr. Machette** · Posted On: 8/30/2012 7:08pm

Originally Posted by Robdogg

A lot of us eat bamboo shoots. Is he encouraging cannibalism?

His website says he's into weird diets.

I bet he'd try if he thought it would bring more wide eyed sychophants to his seminars...

**patfromlogan** · Posted On: 8/30/2012 8:15pm

Ninjers are like the emo segment of the martial arts world.

**bobyclumsyninja** · Posted On: 8/31/2012 12:04am

What in the? I...don't...even.... *gives up*

**W. Rabbit** · Posted On: 8/31/2012 1:08am

Kosugi and son, to counter the negative ninja energy in this thread.

**The Question** · Posted On: 8/31/2012 1:10am

I like the expressions and the postures the ninja in the op takes in the videos and **** when he's demonstrating. As if to say "look at me, I'm so fucking cool. Look at me with this motherfucking non-chalant look on my face as I punch a ************ in the thigh as a valid defense to the head lock. Look at how relaxed my countenance is as I roll a ************ over onto the ground with the patented hand behind the head technique. Goddammit ************, how cool do I fucking look?".

I fucking strive to be look that cool.

**Neo Sigma** · Posted On: 8/31/2012 2:13am

Is somebody ripping serious ass in the "chi scattering video" around :48?

**Mr. Machette** · Posted On: 8/31/2012 1:30pm

Originally Posted by Neo Sigma

Is somebody ripping serious ass in the "chi scattering video" around :48?

Definitely sounds like a major chi disruption followed by some kind of grunt. If do right, no can deffense.

**dflanmod** · Posted On: 8/31/2012 1:59pm

I've taken semi runny shits, you know the kind that are really runny and yet have chunks in them, that have more substance and value than those videos.

It's a gentle snake like movement....Just draw it in towards your centerline... The friction just pulls them in...and suddenly that constapation plug clears and slpaaaaarrrggghht. It sprays all over the bowl. Have to release the bad chi so the good can issue forth.

**Holy Moment** · Posted On: 9/01/2012 2:14pm

I remember when Fight Science first aired. Their stated objective was to "Separate martial fact from fiction" but really what they wanted to do was give nerds boners by reinforcing their death punch and Drunken kung-fu fantasies. They did at least give a rep to boxing, though.

I remember how they really tried to make Levy look awesome as compared to the other martial artists. They had him balance on plum poles, which he could do much better than the other fighters. The thing is, that feat had nothing to do with balance as related to fighting, and Levy was also a stuntman so it's unclear if his ninjutsu training even had anything to do with that talent.

Fight Science also aired an MMA special which served to give MMA noob-nerds boners as well. Apparently, "MMA style" kicks are more powerful than Muay Thai kicks:

Those scientists are pretty good actors, though. "WE'VE NEVER SEEN THESE NUMBERS IN A LAB BEFORE!!!!!!!" so they say after every single test, even when they do the same experiment on different shows (Sport Science, Stan Lee's Superhumans, etc).