Etiquette in BJJ - Did I violate it?

**dflanmod** · Posted On: 8/24/2012 10:40pm

To the OP.

Unless you are a completely different person IRL I think it is quite possible that you are a poor training partner. You may want to ask some of the advanced people in your gym if they feel that this is the case and if so how you can change.

Some observations. Just my opinion

1. You grossly over estimate your skill level.
2. When called on the above you resort to false humility.
3. Your ego appears to match pace with your overestimation of your skill level.
4. You fail to grasp the overall concept that you know so little about what you are doing that you would be best served by quietly training until you do know what you are doing before offering up opinions on BJJ technique, stratgies and etiquette.
5. You appear in general to be over zealous.

My recomendations.
Calm down, be quiet, train, be humble, presume that you are the one that is making mistakes, understand that you don't understand.

I'm not trying to be a dick here but you really seem to be coming off as a pompous ego trip. If that is the way you are perceived at the gym then it is impossible for you to be a good training partner.

Edit: This is in YMAS? In that case go ahead and consider me a dick.

**It is Fake** · Posted On: 8/24/2012 11:01pm

Originally Posted by tangler

Saying that there is something SERIOUSLY WRONG WITH ME (bolded not to yell, but to highlight) is pretty unnecessary in that situation. I would equate that to anger.

Originally Posted by tangler

I get your point, but it really doesn't matter if I know when I am being muscled or not, because I know when people are going for the tap or to teach/learn. Being a white belt (to answer your question) I have experienced both in regards to how much they let me learn in the roll and there is a difference. Its based on how much room the opponent gives for error, if they let you finish the attack even if they can escape and vice-versa, stuff like that.

Originally Posted by tangler

No, she was definitely mad. You dont make an ad hominem personal attack like "something is seriously wrong with you if you try to tap me in my guard" if you aren't mad. Besides, all the other symptoms of anger were present. Trust me, I was there.

Originally Posted by tangler

my spazzitude is the result of the reaction I got for trying to perform the move, a reaction which I didn't expect. I am by no means angry, perhaps a little bitter, but mostly over her irrational irritation.

But this is a useless point to argue about because there is no evidence to support or refute my claim.

Originally Posted by tangler

Hey guys,
I was being arrogant and recognize that now.

No, you really don't. Yes, you were there, but once again you are balking at advice. Instead of asking her what you did, why she was mad or you know any legit question you assumed it was an ad hom, and now she is bitter. I won't point out the misogynistic stereotypical words you are using to describe her demeanor.

**The Question** · Posted On: 8/24/2012 11:25pm

The **** is all this gay **** in this thread?

Man, **** that chick. So you tried to choke from inside guard, how the **** is that **** to get upset about? Simply correct the ************. I'm sure we've all dealt with cats who were big and strong and tried to muscle their way through training, but don't you try talking to them first? Without resorting to passive aggressive bullshit. "Something is seriously wrong with you if you try to choke me from inside my guard"? You mean mean something like a ************ doesn't know a lot of BJJ? Because while that **** is undesirable I wouldn't count it under seriously wrong.

Fucking a bagel and then putting it back in the bag so your roomate eats it is seriously wrong. Not knowing a lot off BJJ, while not an enviable state, is not "seriously wrong".

To conclude: Don't make judgements about your training partners intentions, because you would be repeating their mistakes. Next time ask what the **** they are on about.
And yes, you may be misogynistic and a poor training partner who overestimates his abilities or whatever, but you want to improve... which is half the motherfucking battle. Also, that **** could be worse... I mean you didn't **** a bagel and then watch your roomate spread cream cheese over that ************ before devouring it.

**dflanmod** · Posted On: 8/24/2012 11:36pm

Originally Posted by The Question

Also, that **** could be worse... I mean you didn't **** a bagel and then watch your roomate spread cream cheese over that ************ before devouring it.

What the **** are you on about? Fuckin really. Every fucking mother butfuckin ass hole knows that ya fucking spread da cream fucking cheese over the can't **** fucking bagel PRIOR to sticking your tool in it and givin it to your F-wad roomie.

**goodlun** · Posted On: 8/24/2012 11:50pm

Maybe she should learn to not get choked by a freaking noob that is in her guard. Just saying.
Also your a freaking egotistical ass hat.

**goodlun** · Posted On: 8/24/2012 11:54pm

One more thing

I much prefer it when I do something wrong someone demonstrates to me why not to do it in the process of rolling. I hate it when someone is all like "oh if you do that **** I can arm bar you" I much rather them just slap that fucking arm bar on me then tell me oh I was able to arm bar you 20,0000,000 times because your a dumb ass that keeps leaving your arms out.

**tangler** · Posted On: 8/25/2012 12:14am

Although a lot of the stuff I said has been misinterpreted and used as evidence of how horrible a person I am, and I am being pretty harshly insulted in a post that I put in the noob section, I will say that you guys are all right and I never really looked at it from an outside perspective. I will say that I do not act the way I sound IRL.

I should also say that I am argumentative and will sometimes argue just for the sake of arguing, which can make me seem douchier than I am.

In response to some of the more recent comments:
DFlanmod and It Is Fake, you guys are both pretty right, I think. I'll work on it. Although I am not actually a bad partner in IRL for drilling, just bad for Rolling, because I am pretty new to it and didn't realize the expectations.

The Question, thx for the words, I do want to improve and think I am a decent partner in drills which I understand the intention of. I just suck at rolling cause I'm new to it.

Goodlun, all due respect, I am really new to this, the so-called noob has been doing this for at least 6 months longer than me (I have only been doing it for 2). Just FYI. As for your second comment, okay. lol.

**Rivington** · Posted On: 8/25/2012 12:32am

Originally Posted by tangler

Although a lot of the stuff I said has been misinterpreted

If this keeps happening to you, and it seems to be, consider two possibilities:

1. we're all just jerks, and it's not like complaining that we're jerks is going to change our behavior

or

2. you're communicating more than you think you are, and what you're communicating is that you're a bit immature, and arrogant, and aren't really looking for a rational discussion but uncomplicated support. And you're not going to get that.

**dflanmod** · Posted On: 8/25/2012 12:45am

Originally Posted by Rivington

If this keeps happening to you, and it seems to be, consider two possibilities:

1. we're all just jerks, and it's not like complaining that we're jerks is going to change our behavior

or

2. you're communicating more than you think you are, and what you're communicating is that you're a bit immature, and arrogant, and aren't really looking for a rational discussion but uncomplicated support. And you're not going to get that.

Option #1, yeah definately option #1. Judge Wapner on at 5:00pm. Definately option #1.