Your best "more balls than brains" moment

**crappler** · Posted On: 8/23/2012 4:02pm

This thread is dedicated to those moments in our lives when, for whatever reason, commons sense, logic and anything resembling actual thought leaves us and we do something so completely stupid, there can be no explanation for it.

I was trying out a Judo dojo. Didn't know them, they didn't know me. Really nice guys, friendly, warm, engaging, and hard-training. Instruction followed by randori each class session. Unlike a lot of idiots, who act like you could not possibly know anything, and don't think it important to ask if you actually do (since they care not for the safety of you or their peeps), these guys asked and I informed them I knew a bit. Had a shodan in krotty, but we did a fair amount of rolling. In fact, I had years of rolling under my belt.

So I rolled around with this impossibly strong guy who eventually let me submit him (I think) and moved on to fighting this guy who looked like King Leonidas in that movie 300. It was quite obvious he was powerful and well-practiced.

I tried some non-judo crap, hoping to at least hold my own. Grabbed his foot. He goes "wrestling?" and Jerks it loose. We circle. He reaches out and I am slapping his hands away. I think I actually hurt his hand because I slapped fairly hard. He held it for a second and I apologized.

Then I tried to move around his back, which was pointless. He circled away. Next thing I knew I was up in the air. Panicking. He soothingly tells me "it's okay, I got yah, I got yah" and puts me down gently.

Nobody bothered to tell me, but later on I was looking up player names on their website.

His name?

Jake Larsen.

**TheMightyMcClaw** · Posted On: 8/24/2012 12:52am

In my second MMA fight, I got my brains punched clear out of my head early on in the fight. At one point, I through a bruce lee-style running sidekick from across the cage, which actually landed. I then attempted to follow it up with a Ryo Chonan-style flying scissor, which definitely *didn't* land, and I got GNP'd like nobodies business after that. Pool of blood and everything.

**Outfoxd** · Posted On: 8/24/2012 1:02am

I rolled all my weight across my own hand attempting to defend a single leg takedown by flying/rolling omoplata.

I also attempted to backflip out of a single leg takedown and landed on my head.

Sometimes I have to be reminded that I do groundwork because I'm not a fucking gymnast.

**JesusChrist** · Posted On: 8/24/2012 1:47am

I went to pull my friend's sister out of a crack house. Ended up having to smash my way through about 7 or 8 people using whatever was within reach. No brains, no use of skill, just adrenaline and hulk smash.

**The Question** · Posted On: 8/24/2012 1:50am

One time I wanted some cereal like a ************, because the munchies is a bitch. The milk that was there was left out for like a day by accident. I said ****, I want cereal. And cereal I motherfucking had.

**JingMerchant!** · Posted On: 8/24/2012 8:16am

Well, there was this one time at band camp...

**Tom .C** · Posted On: 8/24/2012 8:26am

Originally Posted by JingMerchant!

Well, there was this one time at band camp...

when the blind girl said "that ain't no picalo"

**JingMerchant!** · Posted On: 8/24/2012 9:28am

Ne waza training, Me = 32yrs, 5,8, 81Kg red belt with shitty, shitty cardio vs 19yrs 6,1, 85kg Black belt who also played rugby for fun.

I had spent every free moment of the lesson, ripping the piss out of him in preperation for that moment!

Fun times!

**RWaggs** · Posted On: 8/24/2012 12:19pm

When I was a skinny, weak ass 17 year old, I was snowboarding with some friends. We come out after eating at the lodge to find that this girl friend of mine's snowboard was gone. I had checked on the boards 5 minutes previous, so I knew it might not be far. I ran through the parking lots of the ski area, and on the last one, I saw two guys walking at a distance, but only one of them was carrying a snowboard. I gradually caught up with them, and discerned that it was my girl's snowboard.

As I got close, they noticed me, and the smaller of the two, probably trying to throw me off, asked, "yo, homie, you know what time it is?" I said "yeah, it's time to give me that fucking snowboard back." Big guy, who's carrying it it, says "This isn't yours, turn around and go back." I get closer and say, "it belongs to a girl I know, and you're gonna give it back." The smaller one tries to flank me, and I shift my position and say very loudly, "don't try that **** again, ************!" I look straight back into the big guy's eyes and calmly say, "please do not make me ask for the snowboard again." He thought silently for about 10 seconds, and then handed it back. These two guys could've pummeled my skinny ass easily, but snowboard jackets don't really give away physique, I guess. The victory march back with the reclaimed snowboard was a BADASS moment of teenage life.

**RWaggs** · Posted On: 8/24/2012 12:38pm

This may be a little off topic, but, if you want a true story of selfless badassery, I'd have to tell the story of a guy I knew named Mike, because it's one of the most inspiring stories I've ever known, and this **** really happened.

About 10 years ago, Mike (19 years old) was tubing in a mountain river in the Cascades (Washington State) with a big group of people. Apparently, they hadn't done their homework properly, because suddenly, people along the side of the river started yelling at them that there was a waterfall coming (the sign which warned about this had come down for some reason).

Anyway, everyone got out of the water, except one girl, who Mike didn't really know, because she'd gotten too far and wasn't strong enough. She was clinging to a rock near the waterfall. Mike went back in to get her, made it too the rock, but couldn't get her and himself back out. He was a strong dude, and could've gotten out himself, but wasn't willing to leave her The waterfall was about 40 ft and pretty rocky. Instead of saving himself, he wrapped his arms and legs around this girl he didn't even know an went over the waterfall with her.

She lived. He didn't. Life cut short at the age of 19 in the most heroic and selfless act of anyone I've ever known. I have tears just writing this. Mike was a badass in life, a hero in death, and I can only hope that I would have his courage in a similar situation. The most moving part was going to his memorial, where the girls dad thanked a man he'd never met for saving his baby.