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  1. #11
    The Question's Avatar
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    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    Quote Originally Posted by battlefields View Post
    No, douchebag, you didn't get fired because you told a joke, you got fired because you drunk dialed on numerous occasions a woman 20 years your junior and said to her inappropriate things like, "you've got a cute butt", and that she "should watch who she opens (her) legs for". On fucking voicemail. That's a new level of retardation.
    That's what he told her? ****, that's fucking weaksauce mayne. You gotta go all the way in with **** like "Honey you got that ass that fuckin' poppin'. You konw, pop pop pop! you know what I'm talking bout? You got the loot in that booty. I could land an F-15 on that ass and I'm not even a pilot, bitch!".
    Quote Originally Posted by Goju - joe
    being a dick with skill is only marginally better than being a dick without skill.

  2. #12
    Permalost's Avatar
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    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    Hey guys, I've done comedy before, so I know when I'm supposed to interrupt a joke for irrelevant details.

  3. #13

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    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    Your roomate has the anti-deadly.


  4. #14
    gregaquaman's Avatar
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    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    Here is the joke I tell

    How do you get a nun pregnant?

    Dress her up like an altar boy.


    See its good because it is short.
    Whitsunday Martial Arts Airlie Beach North Queensland.
    http://www.facebook.com/#!/WhitsundayMartialArts

  5. #15
    battlefields's Avatar
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    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    I don't like short jokes, the attention is not on me for long enough.
    GET A RED BELT OR DIE TRYIN'.

  6. #16
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    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    Quote Originally Posted by gregaquaman View Post


    See its good because it is short.
    Is that what you tell the ladies?
    Quote Originally Posted by Goju - joe
    being a dick with skill is only marginally better than being a dick without skill.

  7. #17

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    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    A priest and a Rabbi are walking down the street. The priest sees a 10 year old boy and says to the Rabbi "Let's screw him".

    The Rabbi says "screw him out of what?"


    This thread is about piest jokes now right?

  8. #18
    battlefields's Avatar
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    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    Why do Catholic boys all have their hair parted in the middle?

    Because... ****, forgot this is a visual joke.
    GET A RED BELT OR DIE TRYIN'.

  9. #19

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    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    I had a friend once. He asks me if I am familliar with wrestling moves.
    So I told him I knew a little.

    So then he puts me in a hold and asks me what's this move called.
    I told him it's a half nelson

    Then he puts me in a full nelson and says what's this?
    I said it's a full nelson.

    Then he starts humping me while holding me in a full nelson and asking if I knew what that move was.
    I go **** no what the **** are you doing?
    He says that's called the Father Nelson.

    Sad thing is I'm too much of a homophobe to pull that joke on anybody else.

  10. #20
    battlefields's Avatar
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    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    Two blokes were having a rare deep and meaningful talk over a beer, when one draws the other in as if to confide in him, "say, hypothetically, if you went camping with someone close to you and you woke up in the morning with a terrible taste in your mouth, your pants around your ankles, a sore arse and several used condoms around you, would you tell anyone?"

    Dude is shocked, thinking his mate is confessing some childhood trauma, he replies trying his best to be supportive, "well, mate, it's a fucked up situation and if it were me, I probably wouldn't tell anyone. Why do you ask?"

    "Wanna go camping?"
    GET A RED BELT OR DIE TRYIN'.

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