Posted On:8/06/2012 5:09pm
Originally Posted by battlefields
No, douchebag, you didn't get fired because you told a joke, you got fired because you drunk dialed on numerous occasions a woman 20 years your junior and said to her inappropriate things like, "you've got a cute butt", and that she "should watch who she opens (her) legs for". On fucking voicemail. That's a new level of retardation.
That's what he told her? ****, that's fucking weaksauce mayne. You gotta go all the way in with **** like "Honey you got that ass that fuckin' poppin'. You konw, pop pop pop! you know what I'm talking bout? You got the loot in that booty. I could land an F-15 on that ass and I'm not even a pilot, bitch!".
Originally Posted by Goju - joe
being a dick with skill is only marginally better than being a dick without skill.
pro nonsense self defense
Posted On:8/06/2012 5:15pm
Style: FMA, dumbek, Indian clubs
Hey guys, I've done comedy before, so I know when I'm supposed to interrupt a joke for irrelevant details.
Posted On:8/06/2012 5:22pm
Your roomate has the anti-deadly.
Posted On:8/06/2012 7:21pm
Style: mma /boxing/muai thai
Here is the joke I tell
How do you get a nun pregnant?
Dress her up like an altar boy.
See its good because it is short.
Whitsunday Martial Arts Airlie Beach North Queensland.
Posted On:8/06/2012 7:33pm
Style: BJJ/ MMA/ MT
I don't like short jokes, the attention is not on me for long enough.
Originally Posted by Mr. Machette
Ups to Battlefields for dropping the sage wisdom.
You are like a Pimp Yoda.
Originally Posted by Tranquil Suit
Battlefields... You're more of a man than I am.
GET A RED BELT OR DIE TRYIN'.
Originally Posted by gregaquaman
See its good because it is short.
Is that what you tell the ladies?
Posted On:8/06/2012 11:44pm
A priest and a Rabbi are walking down the street. The priest sees a 10 year old boy and says to the Rabbi "Let's screw him".
The Rabbi says "screw him out of what?"
This thread is about piest jokes now right?
Posted On:8/06/2012 11:49pm
Why do Catholic boys all have their hair parted in the middle?
Because... ****, forgot this is a visual joke.
Posted On:8/06/2012 11:50pm
I had a friend once. He asks me if I am familliar with wrestling moves.
So I told him I knew a little.
So then he puts me in a hold and asks me what's this move called.
I told him it's a half nelson
Then he puts me in a full nelson and says what's this?
I said it's a full nelson.
Then he starts humping me while holding me in a full nelson and asking if I knew what that move was.
I go **** no what the **** are you doing?
He says that's called the Father Nelson.
Sad thing is I'm too much of a homophobe to pull that joke on anybody else.
Posted On:8/07/2012 12:22am
Two blokes were having a rare deep and meaningful talk over a beer, when one draws the other in as if to confide in him, "say, hypothetically, if you went camping with someone close to you and you woke up in the morning with a terrible taste in your mouth, your pants around your ankles, a sore arse and several used condoms around you, would you tell anyone?"
Dude is shocked, thinking his mate is confessing some childhood trauma, he replies trying his best to be supportive, "well, mate, it's a fucked up situation and if it were me, I probably wouldn't tell anyone. Why do you ask?"
"Wanna go camping?"
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