I'm Going To Be An Uncle!

**lordbd** · Posted On: 7/28/2012 8:13am

Its my first time.

Congrats to my sister and her husband!

Gotta keep training to fight in case its a girl so I can be dangerous by the time she starts dating.

Gotta learn to shave with a straight razor so that I have a cool skill to pass down if its a boy.

Super excited!

**itwasntme** · Posted On: 7/28/2012 8:36am

Congratz homie!

**lordbd** · Posted On: 7/28/2012 8:39am

Originally Posted by itwasntme

Congratz homie!

Thanks bro!

**Vieux Normand** · Posted On: 7/28/2012 2:56pm

Originally Posted by lordbd

Gotta keep training to fight in case its a girl so I can be dangerous by the time she starts dating.

She still might not want to date you.

**Eddie Hardon** · Posted On: 7/29/2012 5:24am

It'll be great fun for you as you can teach and play and take the little one to the park.

The other great part is that when the baby gets into a crying fit and just WILL NOT STOP, and when the nappy (diaper US-side) needs changing, it'll be time for you to go....:-)

**lordbd** · Posted On: 7/29/2012 4:43pm

Tough looking little bugger

**itwasntme** · Posted On: 7/29/2012 6:29pm

In the spirit of unborn children, allow me to share a story.

When my ex used a piss stick and it said she was prego we went to a local free clinic to get an ultrasound. They told us that because her hgh (or whatever the pregnancy hormonce is) was so high that she was probably carrying twins.

Next came the ultrasound. Holy ****, what is that on the screen? Wouldn't you know it's the fucking wand they stuck in her vag. How the **** can you even take a picture of that? I thought that WAS the camera. Oh well, everyone makes mistakes, right?

So here we are about to leave when they tell us they would like to say a prayer over us and our unborn. I ain't religious, but ok old lady have it your way on my special day! She starts to pray and it goes to the tune of, "Dear Lord, please let this family have a long, happy relationship. Let the father take care of this woman and his child and love them forever, unconditionally. Lord, allow these blessed souls to remain healthy in mind, body, and spirit. Don't let this father leave the side of his family. This is a blessed moment, and the father needs to be in this child and woman's lives. Let this father love his family with all his heart and provide for them the best he can. In the name of our father, amen!" Amen was fucking right, glad that **** is over now. You may never know the special feeling of having someone feel they need to "pray over you" to make you stay in your childs life.

Now that that's over it's finally time to leave this dog forsaken place. "One more thing," says the old coot. "Even if your child does not make it through this pregnancy, you are both parents and will always be parents." Ummm, thanks?

Sorry to derail, lord, but I felt it was as good a time as any to share this joyous experience :)

**The Question** · Posted On: 7/29/2012 8:20pm

Originally Posted by lordbd

Tough looking little bugger

Is your name Bob? Because if so, you could look at the child and say, "one day you were in the womb, and then pow-splat, you were out just like that. One two and Bob's your uncle".

**lordbd** · Posted On: 7/29/2012 10:35pm

Originally Posted by itwasntme

Sorry to derail, lord, but I felt it was as good a time as any to share this joyous experience :)

Not at all. That sounds like a hell of a surreal experience. Did you end up having twins?

**lordbd** · Posted On: 7/29/2012 10:36pm

Originally Posted by The Question

Is your name Bob? Because if so, you could look at the child and say, "one day you were in the womb, and then pow-splat, you were out just like that. One two and Bob's your uncle".

My last names Lord so I can say the Lord is watching over you.