Okay I am back!
Today went pretty well. I let him know and I started getting a little shakey-voiced and stuff. He told me the reasons don't matter the fact is everyone has their own reasons for tapping and anxiety/discomfort is common. I disclosed to him some details and he said he didn't really need to know everything. I'm happy with the outcome overall but I think I need to have more discretion in what I disclose, since I don't really know him yet and he doesn't really know me.
I did end up doing two classes because they were both lighter than normal. We worked ankle picks and transitioning to side control + hip throws from the clinch for the first hour and then met our new boxing coach who wanted to evaluate where we were all at. Since there was no new warmup or calisthenics for boxing, I stayed on the mat and it was an absolute pleasure and a privilege to train with this guy I feel lucky. He went through and picked apart our footwork, tried to get that right, chin tucked, elbows tight - some stuff just clicked the simple way he was explaining things.
TL;DR: So I'm feeling much better now after a more low key day of training. My therapist told me to take just half a second if someone gets a dominant position and focus momentarily on my breath. I will try that next rolling session.
I am quite out of shape and have trained twice a day quite a bit as it was the only way to get in as much training as I would want for a week. I always found the 2nd time forced me to really pay attention to technique cause I was to damn tired to brute force it.
Just listen to your body and know when to sit out and you will be fine train as often as you like
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