These claims must cease!

***battlefields*** · Posted On: 7/23/2012 10:30pm

Read my fucking bio, people, you will see it is perfectly clear. There is absolutely no room for hypotheticals, or wiggle room on this subject. I have only ever participated in the following martial arts:

1. Judo
2. Shotokan
3. Muay Thai/ Kickboxing
4. WTF TKD
5. HKD
6. A "scientific concept" hybrid made up of boxing, MT and wing chun that I do not recommend.
7. Brazilian Jiu Jitsu

Whether it is because of my awesomeness, my awesome reputation or my reputation for awesomeness, it's like people feel they have public domain over me. I'm a fucking celebrity, I get that, but fucking hell, I'm human for ****'s sake. I don't expect the same treatment as the average Joe, I'm aware that I am exalted, hailed as a hero and praised as a deity in some circles. I understand, one doesn't become this good without picking up loyal disciples, minions, if you will, along the way. But there are too many threads on here about me, where there is no evidence to back any sort of association and it must stop.

For as long as I can remember people have tried to use me to validate their choice of martial art. They attempt to say that, through me, their martial art is effective, allows people to fight multiple opponents, has techniques designed to kill and maim. That somehow I make their choice of shitty, compliant, teh d34l33, dead patterned martial arts one to which one should aspire.

The myth that surrounds me must end, right now. I am not a time traveller, nor am I immortal. I have left my home country on only two occasions and travelled to the UK, Paris, L.A., Hawaii, Fiji and New Zealand. That's it. I've been in many brawls, none of which meant I "successfully fought multiple opponents". I don't want to kill or maim anyone. And I only recommend martial arts that have "alive" training as a principle, so anyone claiming that they can't practice their technique on a fully resisting opponent does not have my seal of approval.

So, from now on, unless you are referring to the 7 arts listed above, you will never say your "martial art was tested on/ martial art was learnt from/ martial art was designed for" battlefields.

**mike321** · Posted On: 7/23/2012 10:55pm

I have heard weapons have been used on you. Is this true?

***battlefields*** · Posted On: 7/23/2012 11:05pm

That, my friend, is not a fraudulent claim. But the types of weapons claimed are often ridiculous. Fucking Samurai swords, sheeeet.

top knot · Posted On: 7/23/2012 11:10pm

I've often heard that howitzers were perfected on you. And that cavalry charges were quite common on you in the last centuries. And yet you deny this? Come clean, sir! Admit it! You are a cad, and a common denominator in war and human suffering!

**mike321** · Posted On: 7/23/2012 11:19pm

The flying kick must have been designed for you? With the cavalry and all that. Got to get those guys off their horses.

***battlefields*** · Posted On: 7/23/2012 11:26pm

I can confirm unequivocally that the flying kick is a technique that has been used on battlefields.

**The Question** · Posted On: 7/23/2012 11:27pm

I heard there was a lot of blood spilt on you, and many men gave up their souls while on battlefieds.

So my inquiry to you is this: how long have you been participating in these violent all male orgies? And are you always on the receiving end? Or do you also give up your motherfucking soul while on somebody else?

***battlefields*** · Posted On: 7/23/2012 11:43pm

I have indeed had blood spilt on me and many men do offer their souls to me, but none of it was sexual, The Question. I'd call you sick but I know you'd just get horny.

For years women have requested to be on me, but only a select few have made it.

**Mr. Machette** · Posted On: 7/23/2012 11:58pm

I heard you wore blackface to a Phil Elmore seminar and he peed on the floor.

**The Question** · Posted On: 7/24/2012 12:03am

Originally Posted by battlefields

I have indeed had blood spilt on me and many men do offer their souls to me, but none of it was sexual, The Question.

That sounds like what I said at my sexual harassment tiral. "Your honor, I only palmed the secretary's ass in a non-sexual way, just to get her attention to ask her something". LOL.

I'd call you sick but I know you'd just get horny.

Too late.

For years women have requested to be on me, but only a select few have made it.

Oh, this is some old bullshit! We need equality. Get the motherfucking feminist brigade on this ****. Equality means equal number of men and women on battlefields. Equal access to battlefields for all.

Equality!