Bully Tactics ; Slayers guide to Bullies

**Syphilis** · Posted On: 7/12/2012 11:03am

Fellow Bullies,

I have been asked to help with a bullying situation, to teach a girl and potentially a few other kids some basic 'self defense' vs bullies.

I have taught Brazillian Jiujitsu and Kickboxing and MMA before, but obviously we don't want to beat the crap out of a bully -the goal is to make the girl, and other kids, feel safe and confident enough to stand up to other kids, and know what to do when they do get into a fight.

I have some ideas on what should be in such a program, and I have discussed it with my instructor, but I would also like to hear from other teachers/trainers who teach a similar program or classes as to what they use?

I was thinking of teaching the girl similar to the Gracie Jiu Jitsu style of self defense; close to clinch on a punch etc. But in this thread I would love to see a discussion from other instructors on what they use and what they think is effective and why.

**slamdunc** · Posted On: 7/12/2012 11:54am

You might check with the Gracie Academy, Rener Gracie helped to develop Gracie Bullyproof, a youth confidence and character development program. The BJJ is a big part of it, but the communicative other conflict resolution techniques really make it a decent model.

**Hiro Protagonist** · Posted On: 7/13/2012 4:08am

Jeebus, this is supposed to be the technique forum:

Don't treat the symptoms, treat the sickness.

How did this bullying situation develop?
Is there any way to take the kids out of the "line of fire"?

Is it really "bullying", or just some nerdy kids behaving strangely, like, being bad at sports, being openly weak, or having other behavioral issues, like "not washing"?

***jnp*** · Posted On: 7/13/2012 6:33am

Missing posts moved here: http://www.bullshido.net/forums/showthread.php?t=117124

Imagine my surprise when I checked the Basic forum this morning to find that a bunch of you had defecated in the middle of a thread in this forum. That's alright, now that I have cleaned up your mess, I have decided to temp ban the next asshole that makes an off topic or YMAS style post in this thread.

**Syphilis** · Posted On: 7/13/2012 10:18am

Originally Posted by Hiro Protagonist

Jeebus, this is supposed to be the technique forum:

Don't treat the symptoms, treat the sickness.

How did this bullying situation develop?
Is there any way to take the kids out of the "line of fire"?

Is it really "bullying", or just some nerdy kids behaving strangely, like, being bad at sports, being openly weak, or having other behavioral issues, like "not washing"?

Yes, obviously the kid in question is not one of 'the pack' of the other kids e.g. a little nerdy etc.

But who the **** cares? Anyone should be whomever they please an its not like this kid wears cat ears and pretends to be a unicorn in class, its a very common situation of a kid being picked on.

Something might never even happen, and this is in my opinion the likeliest of situations, but we would like to teach her some basic conflict resolution techniques that will give her some confidence to stand up for herself and if necessary have that one fight after which bullies leave you alone.

In addition, I wanted to see what kind of programs other schools have as we are currently trying to improve our school by adding more classes; we just moved to a much better facility and we're expanding. So it is not just this case. A self defense for kids/teens would also serve as an introduction type class to jiujitsu/boxing/wrestling etc.

I went to the basic technique forum because I felt this is where this question belonged; I am asking what other instructors teach as techniques to teens/kids in a self defense oriented course.

Slamdunc, thanks for your reply. I was looking into the Gracie program, but bullyproof would be very specific to what I need. Does anybody have any criticisms of the Gracie Bullyproof?

**Hiro Protagonist** · Posted On: 7/13/2012 1:50pm

I went to the basic technique forum because I felt this is where this question belonged; I am asking what other instructors teach as techniques to teens/kids in a self defense oriented course.

My frowning was directed at the guys jnp promptly nixed, not you. As far as I am concerned, the thread is good here, actually.

Originally Posted by Syphilis

Yes, obviously the kid in question is not one of 'the pack' of the other kids e.g. a little nerdy etc.

What I meant is that, depending on the nature of the abuse, different strategies might be appropriate.

For example, if the kid's not systematically bullied, a little straightening him out might be sufficient. Like, as an example out of the blue, simply changing his way of dressing might help, as will do a decent haircut, or, a membership in the high school wrestling team. Soft kind of stuff.

Now, if there's method in the way his tormentors treat him, other measures, outside from "simple BJJ lessons" might be in order.

**dwkfym** · Posted On: 7/13/2012 2:44pm

In middle school, kids kept teasing me for being 'from the country.' I fought the 3rd ranked guy at my school (got my ass kicked) then put the top ranked 'captain' guy in my homeroom class in an hapkido armlock. Everyone still hated me but no one started any fights with me afterwards.

**Hiro Protagonist** · Posted On: 7/13/2012 3:02pm

Again, a big issue with the whole bullying topic is that people are generally too generous with the word.

Being at the lower end of a school's or class' food chain doesn't necessarily mean to be bullied. It means "having a hard time", or "having it not as easy as others".

Almost everyone of us surely has "had a hard time" at some point in life; few of us were bullied. Or so I think. Not to take anything from you, or others.

I think "bullying" is a scandalized term these days.
One needs to differentiate that to help people.

**Hiro Protagonist** · Posted On: 7/13/2012 3:31pm

I realize that may sound like I am apologizing the bullies; I am not, by any means.

But there is a difference between disrespect and abuse; disrespected, all kids get at some point, even in ways that can be very hurtful. But "bullied", not so many. That's why one has to be very careful about not exaggerating childish banter: Because that way, the real bullies get underrated.

**dwkfym** · Posted On: 7/13/2012 7:19pm

Yeah, I used to think I got bullied a lot. But I look back and its not. And actually I realized I did a lot more 'bullying' than getting bullied, and it was more that kids weren't very accepting due to my foreign personality (I moved around a LOT).

I think it is a hard line to draw. You take it up the ass when you are an adult too (no kiddie porn pun intended) learning how to fall in that hierarchy and moving from within.

All I can think of is get your kid into awesome shape and train martial arts. The air of confidence a well trained kid gives off should be deterrent enough to any serious abusive bullying.