Posted On:7/02/2012 1:57am
Style: BJJ/ MMA/ MT
Ladies and Gentlemen of the creative and artistic persuasion, lend me your easels! Some of you may have read recently my declaration that has been a long time coming:
As some of you may know, being tattooed is addictive. Whether it is love of the artform, or the junkie-like reaction to the endorphins released when the body goes into shock from having multiple stab wounds inflicted by a needle, I know of no person with tattoos that does not want more at some stage. Recently I have had the privilege to be tattooed twice in the matter of a couple of months and like a shark in frenzy, I want more and I want them now.
Fortunately for me I have several designs that I have been developing for several years, lack of funds and tattooists that I trust has prevented me from scarring my body with weak examples of the perfection I desire for these pieces of unique art. They are large and cover a significant portion of my body, which, as we all know, has a finite resource of tattoo-able skin which I do not want to waste on some mediocre attempt by a prima donna tattooist (and they are in a-fucking-bundance).
I like simple and direct tattoos, with meaning to me that includes a universal truth. My tattoos require people to ask me what they mean and not in some “what does that symbolise” kind of way, more in the “what in the **** does that mean?” sort of way. I use uncommon words day to day, am a philosophical being by nature and enjoy the study of languages both alive and dead, what more can I say? Some of you will remember my descriptions of my ink from other threads and if you do, maybe you are stalking me and I need to look at my online privacy settings, but I accept I have crazy fans because I am battlefields, bitches.
Last year Colin put together a wicked steam punk/ biomechanical bull that represented Bullshido as I had asked. I loved it and would have put it on me, but life happened and I put it on the backburner, only to review it recently in light of the renewed vigour for tattoos. I have decided, for a couple of reasons, that I don’t really want the bull tattooed on me. One of those reasons is that I have seen many, many people sporting astrology-related tattoos and who are extremely happy to tell the world that they are “libra with something something rising”, or “gemini, can’t you tell by the fact that I have two personalities, hehe”. And they are dudes! I get the feeling that “are you a Taurus?” asked by every woman I ever meet would become tedious. I prefer they read my tattoo, ask what it means and then watch them glaze over as they realise they do not comprehend the answer. It gives them a sense of my intellectual mystique that I am able to laud over them until the next morning, when she is still awash with pleasure inducing endorphins from our late night early morning activities.
Now, I understand some of you will think, “douchebag, why would you get that, it’s a fucking website?” to which I laugh. Ha! Then I might chuckle a bit, but in a really weird way where everyone looks at me wondering if it is an LSD flashback or if I consumed magic mushies in the last hour. It’s the former, just to let you know. You see, all of my tattoos have been inked in commemoration of something. My first was my 18th birthday (even though I was 17, it was a gift from my dad). My second was my best mate moving to England on account of our entrepreneurial enterprise being discovered by certain members of the criminal elite that weren’t happy that we had encroached on their business and been successful. The third and fourth were done to remind me of my first ever hip-hop performance and to remind me of the first hip-hop club I opened and hosted (of which I don’t remember, but I have the tattoos!). The fourth was a celebration that I was, in fact, not insane, despite evidence to the contrary and having a certificate to prove it! The fifth was a distinct moment in my martial arts journey, a realisation that there was a whole world of pain that I did not know. That was my last one before a couple of months ago. I posted a picture for y’all to see, it’s in my profile. That commemorated two sides of the same coin, the strength in my sobriety and the biggest challenge I have ever faced. The most recent one commemorated what could possibly have been the worst day of my life. I have one more to get before I permanently etch my favourite website onto my largest organ.
Some would still say, “but dude, what is it exactly you will be commemorating?” to which I would have to ask you to stop calling me Buttdude, I didn’t like it in high school and I don’t like it now. Many of you will remember when I arrived here as a n00b, big brass balls and an unshakeable faith that my years as a drunken brawler based on months of stand up, plus a few seasons working at Australia’s most violent pub made me some sort of expert in violence, like so many n00bs before and since. Some of you may also know that this is the first website I EVER became a member of, even before the countless scat and midget porn sites. Prior to bullshido.net, I had operated a computer recreationally maybe a total of an hour and a half out of my 25-26 years on this earth at the time. I learnt about Internet culture/ subculture here, now I work for an IT company and give advice on e-comms.
Mostly, I learnt about the martial arts. This passion which I have always had and which I had convinced myself I knew in depth, I learnt I hadn’t scratched the surface. Through y’all, I learnt that what I thought I knew was truth, was deception. I learnt how to be humble, how to quieten my ego and listen. I went from TKD/ HKD proponent to a prolific poster in support of “alive” martial arts. My journey, my real journey, in the martial arts began when I started posting here. I am at the bottom rung of a very tall ladder and for the first time in my life, I know that this ladder is for me, it is a challenge that has drawn from me dedication I have never before known. And for getting me to the base of that ladder, I thank bullshido.net. If that isn’t cause for commemoration, then someone needs to email Oxford, Webster and Macquarie dictionaries, because those bitches need to update their fucking definitions.
So I put it to you, members of the best online community for the martial arts, to design me a tattoo that represents bullshido.net, around the phrase “The battlefields of bullshido.net”. Notice the pun? That’s what I am talking about, people can read it as simply, “Bullshido.net forums are adversarial”, or they will be all, “holy ****, that’s THE battlefields from bullshido.net, in the flesh!” or “what the **** is a bullshido.net?”
Keep in mind a couple of things:
1. The design might work well in the shape of a circle, or even an octagon.
2. It will likely go on the back of my left calf, depending on the winning design. I do have other “canvas space” available, but this is where I am leaning towards.
3. I like flowing calligraphy, Edwardian Script is a good example, or harsh lettering, Old English. I know, I know, fucking original.
4. I’m liking “looking into the cage” aesthetic, but also don’t necessarily want people asking me “do you fight UFC?” so it might not be a clincher.
5. You know the common praying hands with Rosary beads? If someone was able to draw/design praying hands with 4 ounce gloves on (with the writing on the gloves), I reckon, provided it looks top notch, that might be the clincher. Done well, this would be on my ribs. No guarantees, but yeah.
6. I make the final call, because I am getting the tattoo. In saying that, I am sure y’all will make some wicked ****, so I will accept consults.
7. If there were a prize, what would you want it to be? That’s if the prize of seeing your artwork tattooed on me isn’t prize enough.
8. Deadline to get the tattoo will be two months from decision.
Remember, you will be scarring me for life, so make it count.
GET A RED BELT OR DIE TRYIN'.
pro nonsense self defense
Posted On:7/02/2012 1:04pm
Style: FMA, WMA, doumbek
Cool, I'm in. Can you post pics of your other ones so I know what aesthetic to work with?
Posted On:7/02/2012 4:47pm
Will do it tonight, bro.
Posted On:7/03/2012 4:33pm
Style: Shorin Ryu
Originally Posted by battlefields
I prefer they read my tattoo, ask what it means and then watch them glaze over as they realise they do not comprehend the answer.
This is why you need to have Royce Gracie's ballbag tattooed across your face. They never understand that ****.
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