Defending Against Females and the Law

[Permalost]

I'm not insisting that anyone is wrong or right, but I do enjoy discussing it.

[Estarlio]

What would you have done?

I've had women try to hit me with shoes before so all signs point to warding her off and laughing until she goes utterly mental. People flailing with shoes aren't exactly known for their ability to get around even the most fragile of guards.

I tend to be pretty mellow even I'm drunk. But then again I tend to have fairly good reactions even when I'm drunk so... *shrug* I don't think I'd have been in the sort of situation where we were facing off and she'd already done the thing in the first place. At worst I'd have caught her as she was pulling her arm back and then, as a trained fighter, I'd likely have a huge mass and coordination advantage. Chances are she'd just end up getting a bit of a nudge and falling over or something. Slip her the old elbow as I moved into it.

"What? Oh, are you alright dear? You didn't hurt yourself did you? Want to be more careful who you're walking into."

Something like that. I couldn't say exactly how it'd work out - too many variables. If she did get all the way out I'd probably just tell her to piss off. Once the attack's over you're, sadly I know, not legally justified in hitting them back most of the time. And, when you're drunk, you're probably not together enough to tell if you're in a situation where you could get away with doing it anyway.

[The Question]

First I would suggest learning a few more adjectives besides homie, **** and ************.

Second understand that self defense is a matter of first avoiding a dangerous situation, second to defuse it and third to survive it.

First your friend should have not been acting a drunken fool as has already been pointed out. This would have allowed him to avoid the entire mess and not get his ass booted from the university.
Second when slapped with a fucking slipper he should have manned up and taken it since he was the one to initiate contact and star the altercation, he wasn't really in danger or in fear for his life from a shoe right? Again he had the chance to walk away a little embarassed but otherwise fine.
Third he should't have let fly the cross. Unless she caused him bodily harm or was armed with an actual weapon he had no good reason to slug her. This is yet a third chance to avoid the mess but he failed again. Thats three strikes and you're out.

Aiyo, firstly, motherfuck that ****, homie. I say what the **** I want, when the **** I want. I would point out the difference in parts of speech and ****, but motherfuckers have been doing that ****.

Thirdly, **** all happened very fast. I don't think the experience is broken up like you think. One minute you're grinding up some honey on a truck, next minute you're spitting out paint and mud and everybody is like "ohhh ****, he just go bitch handled". Pride had something to do with it, perhaps.

[The Question]

First off if you never been to Bachanal, STFU!

Finally, a ************ that knows what the **** that **** is about. Asia to the motherfucking rescue.

Second when you decide to assualt someone, regardless of size or gender, you can't be upset when the other person fucks you up, period. The only thing that I see would make this in the wrong for the guy is that he did do something physically offensive to the girl. Which is hard to believe at a frozzy rub up.


You honestly think this makes you seem less misogynistic than his friend? Punch a chick that slapped you doesn't make you a woman hater it makes you a person that doesn't like to be slapped by anyone. Think chasing a woman after she slapped you for something and spanking her in a public place resulting in a three way shows how you view women.

This was his defense as he was pleading his case to not get thrown out of the school. There was also some other politicking and bullshit that influenced the brass' decisions.

[The Question]

That is clearly a quality institution of higher learning. I'm going to start saving now so I can send my kids there.

LO-motherfucking-L. You have no idea, son. It's the best fucking university in the whole fucking Caribbean and motherfuckers call it the "intellectual ghetto", and the intellectual part is questionable.

Please, watch this video and see what the **** I'm talking about. This is during regular class/business hours and the two chicks are apparently lesbians fighting over another chick who may or may not have been a lesbian. The phrase "Gaza Box" was born from this video. Gaza Box - a slap so motherfucking hard it is heard all over the country and given its own name.

Also illustrates how fucking unreasonable some of these girls can be. Dudes too, naturally.



AND... the girl in the pink shirt went for a triangle.

[The Question]

True, but I've been to places that make the above event sound like high tea. If you don't have express permission to get involved, you stay out, and there's never any trouble. If things head south, apologize and GTFO (at least from where the incident/affected people are).

Ah, yes, the motherfucking permission issue. In these events, the music is too fucking loud, so motherfuckers communicate with their pelvises. Rubbing your junk up against a chick's booty or her front parts translates "Excuse me, most esteemed madam, would you do me the honour of letting me have this dance". If she responds by grinding that meat up on you hard then she means "I would be delighted, kind sir".
Which is to say things are already so far fucking south from the onset that it is almost impossible to do something that would shock somebody and make them want to hit you. I honestly can't think of one thing. As Asia said, if you're at a motherfucking road march and you don't expect motherfuckers to rub their genitalia up on you , you clearly did not read the fucking wildin' out manual.

[Permalost]

Wait, so that bootyfest was some sort of school function?

[The Question]

Wait, so that bootyfest was some sort of school function?

Annual carnival. It's a tradition that rose out of Trinidad and Tobago, and you know how Caribbean people like to influence each other and ****. It's been in Jamaica for years, and has always been about rubbin' up on motherfuckers or 'wining'. However with the recent advent of the "daggerin' " epidemic, **** has gotten way the **** out of control.

So yes, it is a school function. Organized under the auspices of "motherfuckers who support maintaining culture and ****", gets school funding and so on. Turns out to be a wild motherfucking fiesta that lasts 3 days and is very likely to leave you with a sore glans.

Somewhere between fucking awesome and HBO shock video, some would say.

[ermghoti]

Ah, yes, the motherfucking permission issue. In these events, the music is too fucking loud, so motherfuckers communicate with their pelvises. Rubbing your junk up against a chick's booty or her front parts translates "Excuse me, most esteemed madam, would you do me the honour of letting me have this dance". If she responds by grinding that meat up on you hard then she means "I would be delighted, kind sir".
Which is to say things are already so far fucking south from the onset that it is almost impossible to do something that would shock somebody and make them want to hit you. I honestly can't think of one thing. As Asia said, if you're at a motherfucking road march and you don't expect motherfuckers to rub their genitalia up on you , you clearly did not read the fucking wildin' out manual.

That's as may be, but if you climb on a truck to touch somebody with your junk, getting slapped with a slipper should fall somewhere on the range of possible outcomes. Works both ways.

[ermghoti]

AND... the girl in the pink shirt went for a triangle.

I don't think so... there is no triangle choke in the Chun.