The Presidential Hunger Games

**TheMightyMcClaw** · Posted On: 6/12/2012 2:38am

Ok, so here's the scenario:
All the Presidents of the United States are gathered in an open forest for a Hunger Games/Battle Royale style contest to the death. All Presidents are the same age as when they took office. They are unarmed and unequipped except for whatever suit they were wearing at their inauguration. There are, however, weapons, packs of food, survival gear, etc. scattered around the battle-ground, as per the Hunger Games.
So who dies first? Who dies last? Who kills who? Who makes it to the final rounds? Who allies with who, and who breaks those alliances? What are the deciding factors in the Presidential Hunger Games?

**KiwiPhil889** · Posted On: 6/12/2012 4:07am

I really don't know your folks presidents,but by the looks of "Abraham Lincoln-Vampire Hunter" i would have to think he'd be damn close to the top of the list of ppl to ally with

**alex** · Posted On: 6/12/2012 4:49am

teddy roosevelt wins

end of thread

**gregaquaman** · Posted On: 6/12/2012 5:17am

Super putin would destroy teddy and then save a bus full of children.

**Devil** · Posted On: 6/12/2012 7:51am

Originally Posted by Alex

teddy roosevelt wins

end of thread

No doubt. How can anyone not bet on the Medal of Honor winner under these circumstances?

**The_Beak** · Posted On: 6/12/2012 8:57am

We do have a Teddy vs. Putin thread floating around somewhere out there.

Tapatalk

**Bneterasedmynam** · Posted On: 6/12/2012 9:01am

My vote goes for Washington, he once got a British commander to surrender just by using a cold stare.

**Scrapper** · Posted On: 6/12/2012 9:08am

Andrew Jackson would be a contender, but Teddy was a highly experienced outdoorsman, fighter, and hunter. He wins easily. But Jackson would have taken a bunch out before he went down; and probably would be the last to face Teddy.

Ulysses S Grant would be in the final four as well. That man knew how to make people die. As ruthless as Jackson.

Nixon. Evil never dies. Final four.

William Howard Taft dies first (330 lbs....got stuck in the presidential bathtub.), followed by FDR (Polio is a bitch).

Eisenhower would hang in there, but he lacked the serious physical skills to make it to the end.

Lincoln would survive for a while, but lacked the killer instinct and combat experience to go too far.

Kennedy would make it to the final 25%, but would get taken out by Jackson, Roosevelt, or his own penis.

Jimmy Carter goes down early. So does Bush Jr., Reagan, Clinton, and Cleveland. Bush Sr., however is the dark horse. Combat pilot, shot down in WWII. Tough as nails, stayed in good shape, and resourceful. He'll finish solidly in the middle. Top 1/3, probably.

Final Four: Roosevelt/Jackson/Grant/Nixon (in that order)

First ones out: Taft/FDR/Carter/Reagan (in that order)

**Devil** · Posted On: 6/12/2012 9:24am

Originally Posted by Scrapper

Andrew Jackson would be a contender, but Teddy was a highly experienced outdoorsman, fighter, and hunter. He wins easily. But Jackson would have taken a bunch out before he went down; and probably would be the last to face Teddy.

Ulysses S Grant would be in the final four as well. That man knew how to make people die. As ruthless as Jackson.

Nixon. Evil never dies. Final four.

William Howard Taft dies first (330 lbs....got stuck in the presidential bathtub.), followed by FDR (Polio is a bitch).

Eisenhower would hang in there, but he lacked the serious physical skills to make it to the end.

Lincoln would survive for a while, but lacked the killer instinct and combat experience to go too far.

Kennedy would make it to the final 25%, but would get taken out by Jackson, Roosevelt, or his own penis.

Jimmy Carter goes down early. So does Bush Jr., Reagan, Clinton, and Cleveland. Bush Sr., however is the dark horse. Combat pilot, shot down in WWII. Tough as nails, stayed in good shape, and resourceful. He'll finish solidly in the middle. Top 1/3, probably.

Final Four: Roosevelt/Jackson/Grant/Nixon (in that order)

First ones out: Taft/FDR/Carter/Reagan (in that order)

Excellent evaluation. Obama would be the first guy out though. The lone black guy in the woods with a bunch of old school white dudes... Not good. He is in great shape for a sitting president, but he'd be too outnumbered.

**Devil** · Posted On: 6/12/2012 9:35am

Zachary Taylor is the dark horse. A southern boy with 40 years in the military and tons of experience killing Indians and Mexicans. Plus nobody knows who the **** he is so he wouldn't be a target for those trying to take out their most dangerous foes early.

And after thinking about it, I've changed my mind. I agree Taft would be the first to go. Since he's basically immobile somebody would probably just stab him with a crude spear as they passed by on the chase for Barry. He's an easy out.