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  1. Moldy is offline

    Registered Member

    Join Date
    Mar 2012
    Location
    Asheville, NC
    Posts
    42

    Posted On:
    6/04/2012 8:49pm


     Style: MMA

    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!

    The cup is an imperfect invention

    Tonight I got kicked in the balls harder than I ever had before. I involuntarily fell to the mat and couldn't move from the fetal position for about 3 minutes, then I managed to stand up, take off my gloves and mouthpiece, walk into the bathroom, pull down my pants, take out my cup and sit down on the toilet. By now my bladder/kidney area had started being affected by the searing pain and I could feel each little tube and vessel in my groin. I spent the next 15 minutes writhing on the floor in the corner of the bathroom with no pants on, switching between different variations of the fetal position to try to find comfort. After that time I felt good enough to stand up and walk back into the main room where everyone was sparring and sit down against the wall. After I sat down, the second wave of pain began. Everything withing a 1 foot radius of my balls fucking hurt in a way I can't describe. After about 10 minutes of heavy breathing and tearing up I managed to pack my stuff and walk to my car, where I sat in pain for about 5 minutes. Then I started to drive home and I felt every bump on the road with another small jolt of pain, and the seatbelt pressed against my bladder only made it worse. During the drive the pain lessened and was only left as a sharp ache in my balls, which was bearable. Then I took a hot shower, ate dinner, and sat down and wrote this. MY BALLS STILL FUCKING HURT AN HOUR AND A HALF LATER.

    The guy who kicked me was new. It was his first day (school just got out) and he had never done a roundhouse kick before today. When we were doing drills, I noticed he didn't pivot when he threw his kick, so his kick went up at a 45 degree angle before hitting the target. I told him and showed him how to fix it, but of course he forgot before sparring. So the little guy spazzes out when we start to spar and is taking it super seriously, putting full power and speed on every shot even though the coach said "light sparring." It was obvious his adrenaline was pumping harder than ever before in his life and he didn't fully understand the purpose of sparring. So what do you know, 45 seconds in he does his angled roundhouse kick as hard as he physically fucking can, it slides up my leg, and causes me to write the first paragraph.

    Which brings me to my point: cups are fucking stupid pieces of **** that don't fucking work. I was wearing a cup, snugly and securely, in the right place. However, because I was moving around, it slipped up like every cup I have ever owned inevitably does. So the padded, but still hard bottom edge compressed my balls and nearly split them in half (it felt like it, at least) when it was kicked. Please tell me if you know of a cup that will stay in place and actually protect my future babies like it was designed to. Also, if you're a noob about to spar for the first time, DONT FUCKING KICK ME IN THE FUCKING BALLS.
  2. lordbd is offline

    Registered Member

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    Apr 2012
    Location
    Shelton, CT
    Posts
    885

    Posted On:
    6/04/2012 8:57pm


     Style: Boxing/Iron Palm

    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    Seek medical attention. Also, I have a cup like this and it doesn't slide up when I tie the back string tight enough.

  3. PizDoff is offline

    .

    Join Date
    Feb 2003
    Location
    Toronto
    Posts
    18,597

    Posted On:
    6/04/2012 9:01pm

    supporting memberstaff
     Style: Grappling

    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    Some Icy Hot usually soothes that right up.


    Anyone ever use those gel padded cups? Like gel on your skin side.
    Last edited by PizDoff; 6/04/2012 9:06pm at .
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  4. battlefields is offline
    battlefields's Avatar

    Moderator

    Join Date
    Jan 2009
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    Australia, Land of Oz
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    5,222

    Posted On:
    6/04/2012 9:04pm

    forum leader
     Style: BJJ/ MMA/ MT

    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    Holy ****, that was the most unintentionally hilarious thing I have ever fucking read. I have fucking tears in my eyes from trying to suppress the laughter and I failed at suppressing the laughter. It's like when you see nut shots on TV, you sympathise, but you inevitably find it funny cause in this case, it ain't you.
    Quote Originally Posted by Mr. Machette View Post
    Ups to Battlefields for dropping the sage wisdom.

    You are like a Pimp Yoda.
    Quote Originally Posted by Tranquil Suit View Post
    Battlefields... You're more of a man than I am.
    GET A RED BELT OR DIE TRYIN'.
  5. Moldy is offline

    Registered Member

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    Mar 2012
    Location
    Asheville, NC
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    42

    Posted On:
    6/04/2012 9:09pm


     Style: MMA

    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    Quote Originally Posted by lordbd View Post
    Seek medical attention. Also, I have a cup like this and it doesn't slide up when I tie the back string tight enough.

    According to the site they're out of stock?
    Also I don't think I need medical attention, nothing feels broken/ruptured
  6. The_Beak is offline

    Registered Member

    Join Date
    Jul 2007
    Location
    SATX
    Posts
    606

    Posted On:
    6/04/2012 9:12pm


     Style: Youtube-do

    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    1. Dirty noobs shouldn't be sparring until they have had more instruction.

    2. Kava Maga joke.

    3. The NuttyBuddy. Look it up.

    Tapatalk
  7. slamdunc is online now
    slamdunc's Avatar

    Extraordinarily Ordinary

    Join Date
    Feb 2005
    Location
    Illinois
    Posts
    2,157

    Posted On:
    6/04/2012 10:28pm

    supporting member
     Style: TKD, CMA & American Kenpo

    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    As bad as it felt with the cup, it may have been a lot worse without the cup.
  8. marcwagz is offline

    Registered Member

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    May 2012
    Location
    Canada
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    207

    Posted On:
    6/04/2012 10:33pm


     Style: Goju Ryu Karate

    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    am I the only one who feels my balls are pretty naturally well protected
    I find whenever something is coming towards there my legs tend to take the impact be it from a flinch or whatever instead...
  9. 30andCrappling is offline

    Registered Member

    Join Date
    Mar 2011
    Location
    Hickory, NC
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    40

    Posted On:
    6/04/2012 10:53pm


     Style: BJJ, Yoga

    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    A couple of the guys at my gym wear the metal Thai cups. Great for striking but not so much for rolling. You may try one of those. Sorry that happened man.
  10. Neo Sigma is offline

    Senior Member

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    Oct 2008
    Location
    Rochester, NY
    Posts
    1,047

    Posted On:
    6/04/2012 10:58pm


     Style: Muay Thai

    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    Yeah, steel cups are the way to go. I mean, getting kicked in the balls is always going to suck, but it's bearable with those. The one I got is at the bottom of the page here- http://www.thunderfightgear.com/shinguards.htm
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