Defense Against Lowkicks: How Not to Do it (Title Edited)

**The Question** · Posted On: 9/20/2012 1:01pm

Originally Posted by Mr. Machette

I've been attacked by women on several occasions. Usually because they are on a drunken tirade and aren't really in control of their faculties.

I always try to "non-violently" subdue women when they get aggressive like that. I'm a big enough guy that I can farily easily pin their arms and hand them off to someone else. No kicking or punching or limb destructions necesary.

I try to not take it personally when sloppy drunks get "fighty". They swing wild, they can barely stand, their last three drinks might KO them before you get the chance. I usually just laugh in their face.

Drink or no, kicking the lady was a bitch move.

**** that ****. I might even suplex a bitch.

**slamdunc** · Posted On: 9/20/2012 8:52pm

Originally Posted by Raving&Drooling

As a LEO what is your take on the hubbub in the Arianny Celeste thread about a guy even trying to restrain a woman as being automatically arrested for domestic violence?

I have actually known people who were arrested for domestic battery because they restrained the person who was attacking them. IMHO, it sucks; there are people working in law enforcement today that cannot define or explain probable cause.

There should be no such thing as an "automatic arrest" for such a thing. It either meets the elements of the offense (domestic battery, unlawful restraint, false imprisonment, etc.), or it does not.

**LesbianSeagal** · Posted On: 9/24/2012 6:00am

Originally Posted by slamdunc

I have actually known people who were arrested for domestic battery because they restrained the person who was attacking them.

Doesn't even require contact, often they arrest the man just on the woman's word, even if he's got a busted in head and she's unscathed.
My ex-gf called the cops on me because I held her wrists together to stop her tickling me, and she hurt herself while squirming out of it.

That's why incidents like this are so gratifying to watch....

It's also why a man should NEVER live with a woman, since your house is always one phone-call away from being hers, at least until the PPO expires.

**slamdunc** · Posted On: 9/24/2012 1:39pm

Originally Posted by LesbianSeagal

Doesn't even require contact, often they arrest the man just on the woman's word

This is often the case; I've been debating this policy on officer.com for about two months now. It is a man's world except for this kind of crap. The scenario you are describing is either piss-poor investigating by the responding officers, a law enforcement administrator without any balls, or a misinterpretation of the law. At any rate, it sucks.

**Raving&Drooling** · Posted On: 9/24/2012 11:56pm

Originally Posted by slamdunc

This is often the case; I've been debating this policy on officer.com for about two months now.

Link? Now I'm interested to see what's being said among LEOs about it.

**Mr. Machette** · Posted On: 9/25/2012 2:16am

I think this thread brings up an important question;

What is the proper protocal for laying the smack down on a ho?

There are many ways to slap a bitch up. The scisors, as presented in the OP are a novel inovation from our good peers in north africa. We would do well to learn from them, for they have elevated woman beating to the status of folk art. Indeed, their culture depends upon it to maintian the very balance of sexual politics. The bitch better walk three steps behind or else! You know what I'm saying? They don't play around over there.

Now on American shores, blows above the belt are more common. While the clenched fist is an old super bowl sunday favorite, a true pimp knows you never bruise the merchandice.

The Russians agree and will only cut a whore where her ass meets her thigh. Hiding the scar from customers, yet still serving as an ugly reminder of what happens to disloyal cunts.

For the American hustler, our most common reprimand of choice is the open hand slap. There are two schools of thought on this subject;

One, advocates the back hand. A painfully dismissive gesture. The offhanded casualness of it as you turn your body away from her tells even the most unrully of hookers exactly what her place is (bottom barrel of my mutha' fuckin' stable, BITCH!). You don't even have to make eye contact. Just THWAP! Conversation over, swagger away while she cries about what her life has become.

The other school are proponents of the classic overhand pimp slap. Not there's an art to this. A real player knows the proper angle, the slight cuppping of the hand and most importanly, the hip rotation. You see, a true hustler comes DOWN with it. BAM. At a diagonal. You wind that puppy up, maybe moisturize a little, and then you bring it down like the HAND OF AN ANGRY GOD! BAM! Knock that bitches self esteem right into the FLOOR! Subteranean, bitch! BADOW!!!!

If you do it right, that Ho-ma will never hold out on you again. Just to be sure her will is totally broken, force her to suck your dick through the tears.

There are so many ways to keep your bitches in line that it can often overwhelm a young hustler. What works for the pimp, doesn't always work for the player. It's best to experiment and see what type of chauvanist violence really suits your personal style. Are you a cutter or a masher? Maybe you like to kick them in the box at a surprising moment? Perhaps the rape choke is more your speed? It's good to develope your own signature moves.

I like to switch it up and keep them guessing. Sometimes it's an asian food night (shibari and caning) sometimes it's just good ol' fashion meatloaf and taters(Raccoon eyes and obligatory intercourse).

Either way, BITCH BETTER HAVE MY MONEY!