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Extraordinarily Ordinary
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Posted On:
5/19/2012 12:35am -
Moderator
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Posted On:
5/19/2012 1:25am--
My suggestion is to go down to your local dive bar and get in a fight. Make sure the fight takes place out on the street otherwise it isn't a legit streetfight, you can go about this by asking them to relocate to the street before you begin the fight. Do so in a gentlemanly tone, "sir, I request we adjourn from this establishment in order to proceed escalating this verbal confrontation to a physical altercation". That way people will be less likely to call the cops because they'll want to see a pretentious twat get beat down.
If you do not have a local dive, maybe you live in a nice area, then my suggestion would be to find one in your vicinity. As is probable judging by your OP and posting history, you might be living a very sheltered existence, so your "vicinity" means somewhere outside of your gated community, possibly downtown, near some "ghettos", just not quite in the ghetto, cause your bitch arse is likely to be shot.
Once outside, limber up. There's no use in pulling a hammy in a streetfight, that ****'ll getcha killed, brah. Yes, I pulled this rule from Zombieland, great movie that it is, there's this one scene where Woody is saying something and then he says this other thing that is totally humourous in context. I laughed for a full three seconds, it was that funny. Now, once limber, stare down your target areas, first look him dead in the chest, use your peripheral to scope his head and shoulders. Next, lower your eyes to the crotch and use your peripheral to scope the target area on the thighs. This maintains a security that he won't jump you while you aren't ready.
IMPORTANT: at this point in time, without moving your eyes from that position, smile knowingly, like you are certain that you are going to win this altercation. It is best practice to lick your lips and drool as well, due to the subtle signal it sends your opponent that you are in fact not of sound mind. This creates a psychological deterrent that works in your favour.
Do your best to try out a headkick first. Close the range as much as you by running toward him, using both hands to protect your testicles, screaming, "I'VE GOT A LOVELY BUNCH OF COCONUTS!!!" Pronounce lovely as "lover-ly", like in the song, but do not use melody at all. Once the range is closed, perform a flying sidekick using your running momentum, which is the most effective kick in the world at all time. If by some form of miracle he survives, land awkwardly and declare, "the air is sweet with revenge, but a dish best served cold is dirt", which, psychologically speaking, will confound your opponent for a brief moment. This will allow you to attack his thighs.
Seeing as you do Tae Kwon Do, hurricane kick your way over to him and unleash the awesome slap of your foot against the flesh of his outer thigh. At this point he should crumble in pain, whereby you are victorious.
If this plan doesn't work, I suggest finding new friends. -
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Posted On:
5/19/2012 2:53am -
Light Heavyweight
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Posted On:
5/19/2012 7:26am

Style: Stick, kettlebell/pullups--
Combatives training log.
Gezere: paraphrase from Bas Rutten, Never escalate the level of violence in fight you are losing. :D
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Posted On:
5/19/2012 10:23pm -
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Registered Member
Posted On:
5/18/2012 11:46pm
Style: Tae Kwon Do
Is kicking in a street fight really effective?