How do I get the BJJers off me

**Moldy** · Posted On: 4/07/2012 3:21am

I have a problem, I got home last night and I started seeing this little guys everywhere. They're always watching me from the corners of my room or from cobwebs and they think I don't see them but I can. One was crawling around on my mom last night and I tried to get it off but I couldn't touch it and she didn't even see it. She told me I needed to get some rest but I know better. She just cant see the BJJer for some reason. But I do. I see them everywhere with their wrinkly skin and gis and I can't stop hearing them talk in their thick accent and all the time I cee them bending their arms back in ways they arent meant to go and spinning their heads and they have too many eyes

I woke up this morning an hour and 18 minutes ago and I felt nauseous so I went to the bathroom to puke but I didn't have to but I can't take a crap either and I feel super constipated and something is gonna have to give eventually. I saw one in the mirror crawling around on my forehead where it thought I couldnt see it so I took the soap and smashed in on my head as hard as I could but the little thing somehow moved and started crawling around me and I couldn't get it off no matter what I did so I stripped and got in the shower but there are more of them and I'm scared for my life because there's no way to kill them. My mom doesn't believe me but when they arm bar her in her sleep she'll see. I think I'm going to go to the store and get some mace to keep them off me and spray them with because nothing else will hurt them. If this fails I don't know what I should do but I have to try something. I hear them talking and I see them in my peripheral vision but they always run when I look straight at them

**CrackFox** · Posted On: 4/07/2012 3:54am

Lame.

**Middlefinger** · Posted On: 4/07/2012 3:57am

Originally Posted by Moldy

I have a problem, I got home last night and I started seeing this little guys everywhere. They're always watching me from the corners of my room or from cobwebs and they think I don't see them but I can. One was crawling around on my mom last night and I tried to get it off but I couldn't touch it and she didn't even see it. She told me I needed to get some rest but I know better. She just cant see the BJJer for some reason. But I do. I see them everywhere with their wrinkly skin and gis and I can't stop hearing them talk in their thick accent and all the time I cee them bending their arms back in ways they arent meant to go and spinning their heads and they have too many eyes

I woke up this morning an hour and 18 minutes ago and I felt nauseous so I went to the bathroom to puke but I didn't have to but I can't take a crap either and I feel super constipated and something is gonna have to give eventually. I saw one in the mirror crawling around on my forehead where it thought I couldnt see it so I took the soap and smashed in on my head as hard as I could but the little thing somehow moved and started crawling around me and I couldn't get it off no matter what I did so I stripped and got in the shower but there are more of them and I'm scared for my life because there's no way to kill them. My mom doesn't believe me but when they arm bar her in her sleep she'll see. I think I'm going to go to the store and get some mace to keep them off me and spray them with because nothing else will hurt them. If this fails I don't know what I should do but I have to try something. I hear them talking and I see them in my peripheral vision but they always run when I look straight at them

Use hard drugs.

It sounds like you need ketamine + uncut cocaine. That's the speedball my goats vet fists into my donkeys urethra.

**ADM** · Posted On: 4/07/2012 5:47am

Far out man, that's a dilly of a pickle aye!

**Stickybomb** · Posted On: 4/07/2012 7:16am

Sounds like schysophrenia. Sounds like one of ShitfuBabel's multiple peronalities trying to be as funny as GraveDigger, but failing like usual.
Dude go to see a shrink. You will probably stay in some warm and friendly closed institution for about 20 years, but if it is what it takes all those little voices and bjjers off, it's worth it.

Admins can you start on deleting such topics or shall we just enjoy the fact that we're still not that low?