Martia LARP - Fang Shen Do LARP school

**Frunk** · Posted On: 4/04/2012 6:42pm

This is quite simply the most hilarious thing I have ever witnessed.
I literally have logged in for the first time in years just to post this.

It appears that a young FSD instructor has started a serious LARP training school in order to teach young nerds how to protect their virginity.
Why do I say it's serious? Because there's at least an hour of free training videos on the following youtube channel:
http://www.youtube.com/user/GenerationGamingca

Unfortunately for our english speaking members, it's in french.
Here's the résumé.
For a mere 50$ a month, you will learn the secret art of dodging weak sword swings aimed at air and the art of blocking swings aimed at your sword. You will also flail around like a jedi and train scripted combo moves with the same three partners.

Here's the background: I am an avid LARPer, of the large scale wargaming kind. I like to hit armies of people with foam weapons while wearing armor, in a low magic setting. We don't take it very seriously. It's good fun, but it's no martial art. A few days ago, I stumbled upon this horribleness thanks to a friend of mine. It made the rounds on our LARP forums, but the Fang Shen Do link puzzled me, so I googled here for a potential McDojo link. What do you know, they appear to be a familiar punching bag for Bullshido. Now I'm sharing this here to let you all bask in the glorious hilarity.

The thing is, not only is he teaching kids the absolutely irrelevant art of LARP fighting, he's actually bad at it.
Why can I say that?
1. Relevance
Well, the first thing you should know about LARP, is that there are a million different systems. Even in the action-oriented, low magic systems, equipment and positionning are ludicrously more important than actual ''skill'' with a short sword. For example, no matter how good you are at dual wielding short swords in a t-shirt, you will still get horribly destroyed by a guy with an halberd, armor and a shield.
Also, much like in THE STREETS, you will almost never be in a fair 1 vs 1 duel.
In a high magic system, it's even worse. No matter how good you are, how well you set up your backstab or how well you are armored, you can also be destroyed by a lightning bolt cast by a balding 45 year old man with an invisible magical armor.

So, in conclusion, if you want to become good at YOUR larp, you read the rules very well, gear up in consequence, fight there a lot and learn the terrain by heart. No amount of 1 vs 1 training in a dojo will save you from being backstabbed by a trebuchet or an orc horde.

2. Being bad.
This man is bad. Here are a few things which you may learn in his dojo.
I am not a weapons martial arts guy, but this seems completely retarded from both a LARP standpoint and a real life standpoint.

You will learn how to combo at air with a dual-bladed staff
(3m52)

Presumably he left out the yelling of ''THREE FIRE! THREE FIRE!'' on each hit.

You will learn how to perform the chainpunching routine with short swords (1m23)

You will also be trained to flail wildly in order to intimidate your opponent (he used the term ''moulinet'', but hey):

Such flourishes have their place if you're in The Phantom Menace, otherwise they're a fine way to get your sword knocked out of your hand.

Seriously just click any video and enjoy the hilarity, bad advice and the use of unneeded technical terms. You might be told to use the ''Zero-pressure, perimeter number 18 slash with a double-blade, and never forget the principle of chaining!''
In other words, hit the man in front of you with your foam stick and don't stop.

It all reeks of classic self defense videos, with the instructor combo'ing on a student that doesn't fight back.

This is inspiring me to create actual LARP training videos. I would focus on the subjects that truly matter:
1. How to seduce that cute scene chick who plays a vampire sorceress. (Actually don't she's the village bicycle)
2. How to trip monsters who use stilts while making it look like you're innocent.
3. How to intimidate people by screaming a lot of black metal lyrics.
4. How to derail a bad scenario made by railroading DMs by stealing the quest items.
5. How to run in full plate armor and make all the haters shut up.
6. How to get through the damage immunity of certain monsters by hitting way too hard with a very mundane weapon.
7. How to start fake quests and sell treasure maps that lead nowhere.
8. How to annoy the katana fanboys by pretend-murdering them with inferior western-style weapons such as halberds and crossbows.

So, that's pretty much it.
Enjoy and have a nice day.

**Permalost** · Posted On: 4/04/2012 6:49pm

I had to pause to confirm that the mop haired guy in the first video is, in fact, wearing a DIO shirt.

**Frunk** · Posted On: 4/04/2012 6:52pm

This isn't surprising.
An inside out metal shirt is basically baby's first LARP costume when combined with a cape, black jeans and a duct tape bastard sword.

Oh and by the way, the ones labeled ''Theory'' are often way more cringe worthy, especially if you can understand french.
Because you see, the theory of foam swords is very complicated.

**Frunk** · Posted On: 4/04/2012 10:28pm

This is how you salute your king:

This is how you fight an air elemental:

**andrewa** · Posted On: 4/05/2012 10:43pm

I'm speechless......This will definitely merit some further research.

**slamdunc** · Posted On: 4/05/2012 10:51pm

Originally Posted by Permalost

I had to pause to confirm that the mop haired guy in the first video is, in fact, wearing a DIO shirt.

Dio is probably rolling over in his grave. Oops, no, he actually did a LARP video once. At any rate, R.I.P. Ronnie James Dio

**Lindz** · Posted On: 4/05/2012 10:56pm

Ce n'est qu'une calice plein de connerie. Good find.

**ryu101** · Posted On: 1/13/2013 6:23pm

This is the highest level of crap-fu I've ever seen . He says in the video be careful,this shot is illegal .Dahhhh, you're hitting with a double edged lance all shots with this are illegal. How did this moron get a school. How can you post something like this and expect people to take you seriously.The moves their doing with the double blades are kali stick fighting forms.They would not work with swords .Just ridiculous.

**itwasntme** · Posted On: 1/13/2013 7:34pm

Originally Posted by ryu101

This is the highest level of crap-fu I've ever seen . He says in the video be careful,this shot is illegal .Dahhhh, you're hitting with a double edged lance all shots with this are illegal. How did this moron get a school. How can you post something like this and expect people to take you seriously.The moves their doing with the double blades are kali stick fighting forms.They would not work with swords .Just ridiculous.

This guy already came here and said this is just for fun. If I recall, "LARP" is somewhere in the name. Either way, he seems to be upfront about his "style".