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  1. #1
    Phrost's Avatar
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    Hell yeah! Hell no!

    Haha, what happened here? (Frank Dux)

    So I was out on the Internet, searching for a map of Bullshido members made by Pandinha, years ago, when I come across this:

    http://www.usnews.com/news/world/art...-into-cyberwar

    Wondering what the hell that had to do with, well, anything, it finally came together in the comments section, where I discovered Mr. Frank "I bought my kumite trophy at the store down the street" Dux, whining about us poking holes in his story like the trusty T485 Stamp Press at a pasta strainer factory.


    Ashida Kim and Frank Dux: bullshiters of a feather, flocking together

    Look, I get it, when you've built your entire professional career on stories of being an ultra-deadly world-record-holding underground-fighting ninja, it doesn't do to have people like Chuck Hardin bringing up all those pesky "facts". I mean, if I was an outright goddamn liar who went around telling people I was undefeated as an essential part of my business plan to sucker Walter Mitty-minded escapists into paying me money, I certainly wouldn't like guys like Chuck and Sam Browning very much.

    There's an old poem by Joseph Mather, to the tune of "God Save the King" that includes the lines:

    Facts are seditious things
    when they touch courts and kings
    armies are raised.


    Perhaps we should revise this two hundred year old verse to apply to people who think they're ninjas. I imagine it would go something like:

    Facts are such awful things
    When you spread them, it stings;
    I can't sell books.


    Or maybe, since we're talking about people who wish they'd been born Japanese:

    Facts are like caltrops
    On the ground, they're dangerous
    Your tabi are fucked.


    Anyway: LOL, Dux. Some ninja "master". Was it the Koga or the Iga that taught the deadly art of whining on the comments sections of random news articles? Not to mention, a certain Bullshido administrator was within hand-shaking (dim mak?) distance of the guy fairly recently, completely bypassing his superhuman awareness faculties.

  2. #2

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    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    Nice find. Also, note the "HANSHI" title he gave himself when he signed his comment. It would be really interesting to see who gave him the authority to call himself that.

  3. #3

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    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    are they "secretly" holding hands?

  4. #4
    It is Fake's Avatar
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    I'll find the thread, there is a huge back story to the whole situation. It is hilarious.

  5. #5
    ermghoti's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Featherstone View Post
    are they "secretly" holding hands?
    Those aren't hands.

    Also, I'm shocked that photo could be snapped quickly enough to prevent those two from collapsing into a black hole-like singularity of LARPulent fraud.
    "Your body must be like a stone, your mind... like a meatloaf."

    Quote Originally Posted by strikistanian View Post
    DROP SEIONAGI ************! Except I don't know Judo, so it doesn't work, and he takes my back.
    Quote Originally Posted by Devil
    Why is it so goddamn hard to find a video of it? I've seen videos I'm pretty sure are alien spacecraft. But still no good Krav.

  6. #6

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    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    Which Ninja Turtle movie extra did he get that GI from? And anyone wearing sunglasses and a blue and red belt must be deadly. I always wonder why guys go around trying to distinguish themselves with the most elaborate martial arts uniform. A few months ago I bought a new plain white gi and it came with an included embroidery. I got my daughter's name on the lower lapel right over the tag 1" x 1" in japanese. My buds at the school thought it was hysterical. My completely white gi with a tiny japanese letter. They still call me Hollywood and Fancypants. Another reason I love our dojo.

  7. #7
    Permalost's Avatar
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    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    Quote Originally Posted by TheLuckydog View Post
    Which Ninja Turtle movie extra did he get that GI from? And anyone wearing sunglasses and a blue and red belt must be deadly. I always wonder why guys go around trying to distinguish themselves with the most elaborate martial arts uniform. A few months ago I bought a new plain white gi and it came with an included embroidery. I got my daughter's name on the lower lapel right over the tag 1" x 1" in japanese. My buds at the school thought it was hysterical. My completely white gi with a tiny japanese letter. They still call me Hollywood and Fancypants. Another reason I love our dojo.
    He's using its bold look to attract challengers, like a carnivorous plant or a deep sea fish.

  8. #8

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    I'm curious about the plastic bag on Dux's groin. Who put that there? Has it been placed there in case he feels the uncontrollable urge to sodomise Ashida Kim?

    I don't know about Frank, but when I **** a massive *****, there's a good chance of it getting pregnant.

    I dread to think what their spawn would be, but presumably it would come to earth to herald the end of all realistic training and transparency in the martial arts.

    I don't know who had the balls to wrap Frank's little Hanshi up, but he gets a thank you from me.

  9. #9
    By the Hoary Hand of Hoggoth.....
    Hanniballistic's Avatar
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    It gets worse

    http://ashidakim.com/HoF2009.html

    The same HoF inducted Canete as if to give credibility to the other fucking asshats they induct. This is why HoF status is worth little more than a popcorn fart

  10. #10

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    Quote Originally Posted by Hanniballistic View Post
    It gets worse

    http://ashidakim.com/HoF2009.html

    The same HoF inducted Canete as if to give credibility to the other fucking asshats they induct. This is why HoF status is worth little more than a popcorn fart
    I saw this before on the other thread about it.

    The thing that really struck me was Vic Moore's participation. Why the **** would Moore, a legit 4 time karate champion who beat men like Joe Lewis and Mike Stone and was a pupil of Rob Trias, feel the need to engage n bullshit like this?

    Kim even attributes the following quote to Moore:

    “I fought and beat ‘em all. Chuck Norris, Joe Lewis, Bill Wallace, Bruce Lee...Frank Dux was the only person I couldn't beat. And he was still a kid at the time. He learned from me and I said to everyone he was the one to watch. The one who was going to take it all---the real kumite, what we see as Bloodsport.”

    Seriously, what the ****? I'm not missing anything obvious, right?

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