Thread: Baseball bat or knife?
7/14/2012 12:56pm, #171
- Join Date
- Nov 2011
So let me get this straight- you were in the service for 2 years- and during these 2 years- you became a navy diver- worked with 2 sec ops teams- trained at Blackwater- . . . ?
7/14/2012 1:08pm, #172
if you dont believe it, that's not really a major concern to me,
I fucked up by saying anything in the first place,
and I own that especially with my family there, but you weren't there and have no clue as to what the you are talking about as you are implying the 2 sides to every story bullshit, I was in a frustrated mood having to sit behind someone for 5 minutes because I couldn't pass because he was being a dick. I said it in a frustrated manner but I didn't swear at him or use any type of come on and fight me language, he fucked up worse and will pay for it not from me but by the authorities. Even when he pulled up along side and asked me what I said, I said it again but in more of a calm state, as to not provoke the situation any further, I began to drive off and never said another word to him, and that's when he decided to keep it real, the only thing I said to him after that was I am calling the police. It was a learning instance, and I won't make the same mistake twice, especially when my family is with me.
So how's that meditation going?
7/14/2012 1:10pm, #173
It is always strange how angry people get when you say "hey you have some culpability." It's funnier when they start explaining and reinforce your earlier conclusions *cough* itwasntme *cough*.
7/14/2012 2:16pm, #174eloneamigoGuest
1st school AO/Explosives handling
Duty Stations while I was enlisted for 3.5 years, after I received an early out with six months left. I used my GI bill and received a degree in Economics from UH Manoa. I also served as an Ordie during Operation Iraqi Freedom.
M-14 Expert Qual
9mm Pistol Expert Qual
Blackwater Armed Sentry
After 2 years in the Fleet I re-passed my Eod Screen Test
Eod Psych test cleared
Request approved until I was diagnosed with asthma
VA card for 20% disability rating
Last edited by eloneamigo; 7/14/2012 2:24pm at .
7/14/2012 2:38pm, #175eloneamigoGuest
7/14/2012 3:32pm, #176
- Join Date
- Nov 2011
OK- My apologies and respect.
My next question then- is with your training and experience- why would you (in my opinion) correctly MENTALLY prepare- and correctly label and ID threats . .. yet in both scenarios you then (once again in my opinion) contradict your training and- based off of assumptions (some you seem to have made to minimize injury to opponent- and some to mitigate legal risk[sometime in ways that are meaningless even]) which seem to place you in GREATER risk?
Ill rephrase- im confused why you make certain decisions and assumptions to minimize injury- and legal risk- which seem to (against your training) place you in MORE actual threat?
7/14/2012 5:22pm, #177
Getting your temper riled because some **** head threatened your family is perfectly normal reaction. Training or not. You think he's some sort of Jedi or something?
Cut the guy some slack for being a human, mang. He came here for moral support, not monday night micro managment of a fight that didn't even come to blows. lol
7/14/2012 5:28pm, #178
7/14/2012 5:53pm, #179eloneamigoGuest
The main reason I thought specwar was for me, is so I didn't have to feel anymore, I wanted to be attached to a SEAl team as the demolitions guy, to **** those people up who impose their will on others who can't defend themselves. I have used revenge as my motivation in life, but what I didn't realize is how you lose your humanity in the process. You have no room to be emotional, and I was looking for a new family that actually had my back, I guess similar to gang mentality. It was the first time in my life I ever tried to step up and I failed, and took it hard, and honestly sometimes I still do.
I never learned how to be at peace with myself and it is obvious from my recent behavior. I just asked my gf today, "after comments came in that there was more to the story" as to how I reacted in the situation a few days back, and she said that my expression was scary, and she was more afraid of me than the other guy, so even though I didn't say much to him, the way I said it must have been intense enough for him to react that way. I must have been so belligerently angry that I wasn't even capable of noticing it. Maybe this is what I was trying to explain before about blacking out, sometimes I get so angry that i can't even see who I am angry with literally.
I masked most of my adult life by hiding in a bottle, and about 6-10 (wasn't counting) months ago I stopped drinking heavily (1/2 a 5th and 4-5 beers a day, almost everyday) I have been frustrated with myself as a man and have been taking things that aren't even related to me personally.
With some of the comments earlier today, I went to Buddhist temple and literally broke down, I think today was the first time I have bawled like a little girl since I was told that I could not continue with my training in the Navy, I guess I was hurting more than I knew. I am sick of feeling like this, and I am sick of acting like a coward emotionally. Many of you were right to point the finger, that essentially I could have avoided all of this if I didn't act like an asshole in return to the other guy and just let it go.
I know that I was specwar material because I use to be good at keeping my cool, and I guess that part of me is trying subdue the uncontrolable asshole from within. Which is why I am training MT now, to be a warrior in the ring, and not a coward to myself or family outside in public. It's hard for any man to accept their faults, but I guess deep down I do want to change, because i can't live like this anymore.
Many of you might still think I am a dick, and get it, I am fucked up, but I am trying my best to become the man I should be, instead of the guy that is too afraid to be at peace with himself. It's my personal I battle with everyday, I appreciate the constructive criticism, maybe i just needed a smack in the back of the head to admit what instinctively I already knew. Anyway I have pretty thick skin, and can take it, but I appreciate the insight, take care guys and aloha.
7/14/2012 6:57pm, #180"Judo is a study of techniques with which you may kill if you wish to kill, injure if you wish to injure, subdue if you wish to subdue, and, when attacked, defend yourself" - Jigoro Kano (1889)
***Was this quote "taken out of context"?***
"The judoist has no time to allow himself a margin for error, especially in a situation upon which his or another person's very life depends...."
~ The Secret of Judo (Jiichi Watanabe & Lindy Avakian), p.19
"Hope is not a method... nor is enthusiasm."
~ Brigadier General Gordon Toney