what is the fastest way to learn how to fight?

**Tom .C** · Posted On: 1/01/2012 10:01am

After reading some of your posts, I'm betting your attackers were awarded community service medals, keys to the city, and cash awards.

**judoka_uk** · Posted On: 1/01/2012 10:18am

Originally Posted by Santa Gnaws

Thread should end here.

There's no way we can more perfectly mock the OP than this.

**afraid** · Posted On: 1/01/2012 10:19am

is it possible for the skull to swell and then shrink back
i guess not another deformity added

**Tom .C** · Posted On: 1/01/2012 10:23am

Originally Posted by afraid

is it possible for the skull to swell and then shrink back
i guess not another deformity added

You should have flexed your muscles and scared them all off. The swelling is normal for a pecker head.

**afraid** · Posted On: 1/01/2012 10:27am

Originally Posted by Tom .C

You should have flexed your muscles and scared them all off. The swelling is normal for a pecker head.

well you think i'm a douche but these guys were claiming to do thai boxing but then why did they jump me with a group smashing bottles on my head

surely a thai boxer can fight 1 on 1

goddamnit goddamnit goddamnit i hate now i am evenb uglier than before

**Sorekara** · Posted On: 1/01/2012 10:50am

Although, not being one to jump on bandwagons, I can't resist.

Originally Posted by afraid

you sound like all theory zero experience

Who's all theory now? Huh?

**It is Fake** · Posted On: 1/01/2012 10:52am

Originally Posted by afraid

well you think i'm a douche but these guys were claiming to do thai boxing but then why did they jump me with a group smashing bottles on my head

surely a thai boxer can fight 1 on 1

So, in non-douche speak, you challenged some guy's martial skills and he beat you with a bottle.

**afraid** · Posted On: 1/01/2012 11:00am

Originally Posted by It is Fake

So, in non-douche speak, you challenged some guy's martial skills and he beat you with a bottle.

let me summarize what actually happened

*walk down alley with friend
*group of people sits on bench, they see my friend coming and shout "a victim"
*they get in our face already having bottles ready in their jackets
*at least one of them mentions he knows thai boxing
*we try to back out of situation
*they isolate him from me, i try to get him by my side
*they they charge at me swinging bottles at my head

the end

**dflanmod** · Posted On: 1/01/2012 11:10am

You obviously failed to properly execute the venerable "X block", a technique that is perhaps second only to "wrist control".

From a scientific standpoint I have to comment that strangely enough your posting has somehow not managed to get any worse after the bump on the head.

Perhaps one of the nerds on the site could offer up a reasobable equasion that would explain how this is possible. My current theory is that your baseline posting value is as low as is humanly possible in your case and can not be made any worse by head injury or death.

Any competing theories out there????

**It is Fake** · Posted On: 1/01/2012 11:16am

Ah so you live in a comic book. Gotcha.
Dark Alley? Check.
Idiots still walking down Alley? Check.
Someone shouting victim? Check?
Hooligans jump up in the victims faces? Check.
Hooligans yell their superpower? Check.
Victims get surrounded? Check.

Now you have to wait until next issue.

Batman is not real and he will come to save the day. Oh and Phoenix Jones was arrested