Movie Misconceptions

[It is Fake]

Kung Fu movies of old get a bad rap. They constantly get the brunt of unrealistic expectations. Part of the problem is the propaganda system. Just like people believe if they come to America all of their problems will be solved, kung fu was similar for fighting. Kung fu was portrayed in a similar light in America. All old Chinese guys have kung fu, you could learn it quickly, and you could fight multiple opponents.

Well, let’s start dispelling the myths:
Everyone remembers 36th Chamber of Shaolin AKA Master Killer AKA Shaolin Master Killer. It is usually in the top ten of MA movie lists. Gordon Liu is a Badass he fights, learns and defeats the Manchus.

It is funny because most people forget the arduous training:

He got beat down, was laughed at and even became discouraged. He failed and failed again. He had to work Hard to be better and then he finally succeed:


Seriously, hard work, sparring, failure, working past regular hours, and perseverance are the reality in this movie.

What's even funnier are the subtle nods to things considered bad by "teh real" kung fu standards.

Weight lifting?
Check.

Road Work?
Check.


Sparring?
Check.

Pain?
Check.

Weird right? Only forms work, but not in this movie. Weightlifting hinders chi, but not in this movies. Forms are just as good as running or roadwork, but not in this movie. They actually show the balance between training and forms.

Also, let's not forget this gem (Starting 2:45):


5 years of non stop training and sparring. Now, I think it is 3 in the subtitled versions, but it is still a decent amount of time. Nothing quick nor easy about learning kung fu in this movie.

[W. Rabbit]

San te spends the whole first year just cleaning and sweeping the floors of the Temple because he's a weakling (and of course nursing injuries from escaping the Manchu).

Road work FTW.

If he'd started right out the chambers would probably have killed him.

And nothing in this movie is better than the Head Abbot wanting to promote San Te and his senior monk says "whoa hold on, he's got to kick my ass first before he gets this promotion"...

...which San Te can't do without even training, sparring, losing, and training some more.

[Rivington]

I wish my school had a Chamber of Headbutts.

[W. Rabbit]

I wish my school had a Chamber of Headbutts.

Dan Horgan would so not like that chamber.

Where do I remember hearing about someone building something like this for their own training, on Bullshido...Search Function...failing....me....

[W. Rabbit]

The Master Killer Documentary from The Shaw Brothers (boy, they sure make lot of documentaries, huh?) taught me that:

-It only takes five years to become an unbeatable Shao-Lin superman

Five years seems a reasonable amount of training time to become at least somewhat proficient.

It's a lot better than the movie myth that you need to spend 30 years (or the other extreme, 30 hours) training kung fu to become dangerous. Note that the reason San Te progresses so fast is because he trains so much and so hard, he surpasses all his teachers one by one (all except the Top Chamber teacher of course..San Te's Buddhism level can never be THAT high).

-Once you become a full fledged Shao-Lin monk, it's totally acceptable to ambush and kill your old enemies

Tang: You're a Buddhist! Show mercy!
San Te: Even Buddha has to conquer evil!

-One day, you too, can learn to hurl invisible balls of chi

Nope. That would require that you stay in the Temple your whole life and reach the Top Chamber. San Te was a practical man, he only had a few years to train to avenge all his parents', teachers' and friends' deaths.

-A burly blacksmith, with zero combat training but he pounds globs of molten hot metal flat for a living, can defeat an entire squad of conscripts ...

Fixed. Please refer to Daniel Tosh as to why this is possible.

[FinalLegion]

Fun fact: the second disciple San Te picks up (after the blacksmith) is named Luk Ah Choy, who in real life was Wong Fei Hung's sigung/grandmaster (early 1800s). I love the hung ga references in that movie (the opening sequence is a form of Iron Wire Fist, hung ga's apex form).

Really? That's quite cool. It's amazing what you can learn at the most unexpected times.

In reference to your post that followed...yeah, I suppose those are things I overlooked. Perhaps 'Master Killer' isn't quite the right movie to bring into this fun fest. Still one of my all-time favorite MA movies.

There was another one I was going to bring up...can't remember what it's called...the thing I remember most about it was a ninja whose outfit was white with multi-colored polka dots. It sticks in my memory because one of my friends referred to him as the 'Wonder Bread Ninja'.

[W. Rabbit]

Really? That's quite cool. It's amazing what you can learn at the most unexpected times.

In reference to your post that followed...yeah, I suppose those are things I overlooked. Perhaps 'Master Killer' isn't quite the right movie to bring into this fun fest. Still one of my all-time favorite MA movies.

Oh we can make fun.

I developed a great appetite for congee after watching 36COS.

It's great when you have a cold.

[karma2343]

Perhaps 'Master Killer' isn't quite the right movie to bring into this fun fest.

I think it'd be good if you had also mentioned RZA, GZA, Raekwon, Ghostface Killah, Method Man, Inspectah Deck, and U God.

[W. Rabbit]

Warning: NSFW Audio

[Mor Sao]

Congee otherwise known as Zhou or Jook is great in the winter when you need to warm up in the morning.

My rice cooker can make it and man oh man its good with some meat, herbs and green onion