Simpsons and the Martial Arts.

**stoogejitsu** · Posted On: 4/08/2004 1:22am

Hello everyone, Vargas asked me to make a thread dedicated to "The Simpsons" in which people can add any episodes, quotes, or scenes dealing with the Martial Arts from "The Simpsons," and I guess shows like "Family Guy," and "Southpark" are ok too. I know there are many Simpson's fans on this board so I think there may be at least a few responses, I'll start:

They see a TV advertisement for a martial arts school (next to Shakespeare's
Fried Chicken)...

Akira: Hello, I am Akira. Ha! [breaks a cinder block with his forehead]
That didn't hurt very much, because I know the ancient art of karate.
[lying on his back with a giant rock on his chest, as two men pound the
rock with sledgehammers]
Karate focuses the mind and gives you self-confidence.
People from all walks of life...
Doctors...
Man: Hai-ya! [breaks a cinder block with his forehead, in the process,
breaking his glasses, which he forgot to take off]
Akira: Home makers...
Woman: Hoi-ya! [breaks a cinder block with her forehead]
Akira: Landscape architects...
Woman: Haiiiii-ya! [breaks a cinder block with her forehead]
Akira: Choreographers...
Man: Hoa! [breaks a cinder block with his forehead]
Akira: High karate, at low, low prices.
George Washington: I cannot tell a lie. This is a great deal!
[smashes a wooden board with his head]
[TV caption: Washington's Birthday Sale, $10 a lesson]
-- TV advertisement

next MA scene: Bart suffers through the karate lesson.

Akira: We learn karate, so that we need never use it.
Bart: Um, excuse me, sir. I already know how not to hit a guy.
Can we break out the nunchucks?
Akira: Ah yes, the impetuousness of youth. For now, let us read...
Bart: Akira, my good man, when do we break blocks of ice with our heads?
Akira: First, you must fill your head with wisdom, then you can hit ice with it.
Bart: Yo, sensei. Can I go to the bathroom?
Akira: You can if you believe you can.
Bart: [leaving] Pay money to read books, pffft. The hell with this!
-- Karate school, my favorite quote out of this is "High karate, at low, low prices."

**DJeter1234** · Posted On: 4/08/2004 1:38am

each (simp, south, family) has exactly one episode invling martial arts directly, and I can't think of a single incident in any episode other than those 3 :-(

**stoogejitsu** · Posted On: 4/08/2004 3:01am

Really, I can think of alot more references from the simpsons than just the episode I mentioned, but if it's that hard why not just funny martial arts references from telivision in general if people can't think of them from what I mentioned.

**Stick** · Posted On: 4/08/2004 3:35am

On Snake Bashing Day, Homer practices Ma in the back yard. He did pretty well ^_^

As for South Park MA; Tweak Vs. Craig.

Cartman gets Craig trained up in sumo, and Stan and Kyle take Tweak t uncle Jimbo's boxing gym. Kick ass ^_^

**stoogejitsu** · Posted On: 4/08/2004 3:42am

Sweet, see what I mean, the examples are there, and plentiful.

**Jolly_Roger** · Posted On: 4/08/2004 3:50am

In southpark, the Satan vs. Jesus boxing match...

**stoogejitsu** · Posted On: 4/08/2004 4:14am

Homer vs. Drederick Tatum, he fights Box Car Ira "He' a hungry young fighter, tonight he's fighting for a sandwich."

then when he walks out in the robe that says "Opponent" to the song "why can't we be friends."