Taiji, you've managed to make me feel dirty again.

**Sri Hanuman** · Posted On: 10/06/2011 7:30am

Blowing off steam, so bare with me.

This morning, one of those rare occasions when I get up at 4 am to take care of business, I finish ahead of schedule, and decide to step outside for a brief stretch and maybe one Taijiquan form session (since I felt too fucking lazy to jump rope or lift... not enough seep, fatigue, and all that other excuise crap.)

Luckily for me, there is a wide stretch of wooded area right outside my front door where I normally do my forms. So I'm out there by ~5, go through the typical BaDua Jin, chan si gong, and then move on to the TJQ form.

When I'm about half way through, this old lady who's walking some mop-looking dog stops to stare. I'm pretty used to this, so I finish up the form, and start walking towards my front door, when she asks me if I'm doing Tai Chi.

me: "yep, helps me start off the day."
her: "I think you got a few of the moves wrong, like the one with the hand, you know the one in the beginning?"

She does the peng, lu, ji, an, with the lu (rollback) completely extended and to far left side, and tells me that I need to reach all the way back to get a good stretch (yeah, I'm being a fucking nazi about it, sue me.)

So I ask her what would be the application for reaching that far back when performing Lu, she gives me this blank stare, "I just told you, it's for the stretch"

me: "what do you mean stretch?"
her: "you know, for the yoga? We have this great yoga class by where I work, you should come by and give it a try."

FUCKING OLD PEOPLE... ruining my CMA...

/vent

**The Juggernoob** · Posted On: 10/06/2011 7:33am

Did she take the deadly out of the sails of your failboat?

**Sri Hanuman** · Posted On: 10/06/2011 7:36am

Yes.
Yes she did.

**The Juggernoob** · Posted On: 10/06/2011 7:39am

Originally Posted by Sri Hanuman

Yes.
Yes she did.

Maybe she was teaching you the deadleh, but wanted you to discover the stretch yourself.

**Sri Hanuman** · Posted On: 10/06/2011 9:47am

With a better stretch, my spiritual energy will be that much higher, allowing me to use more qi for the various dim mak applications required at my workplace.

**Tom .C** · Posted On: 10/06/2011 9:51am

Fight her. Make her prove she has game.

**Grey Owl** · Posted On: 10/06/2011 10:31am

If a fight kicks off my money is on the mop dog. They're vicious little bastards.

**MAGIC HATE BALL** · Posted On: 10/06/2011 10:38am

Sounds like she was hitting on you. Go make slappies with the GILF and absorb her POWAH!

**Permalost** · Posted On: 10/06/2011 10:46am

If she's gonna correct your form so you stretch better, you should go to her yoga studio and correct her yoga postures for better fighting effectiveness.

**Sri Hanuman** · Posted On: 10/06/2011 11:29am

Originally Posted by Permalost

If she's gonna correct your form so you stretch better, you should go to her yoga studio and correct her yoga postures for better fighting effectiveness.

That Downward Dog is too high. If you get lower, you can dodge a kick AND block a strike with your ass.