245147 Bullies, 4208 online  
  • Register
Our Sponsors:

Results 1 to 9 of 9
Sponsored Links Spacer Image
  1. slamdunc is online now
    slamdunc's Avatar

    Extraordinarily Ordinary

    Join Date
    Feb 2005
    Location
    Illinois
    Posts
    2,246

    Posted On:
    3/01/2015 12:11pm

    supporting member
     Style: TKD, CMA & American Kenpo

    1
    Hell yeah! Hell no!

    NEW LAW - Americans With No Abilities Act

    WASHINGTON, DC (AP) -
    President Obama signed into law sweeping legislation, which provides new benefits for many Americans. The Americans With No Abilities Act (AWNAA), signed into a major victory by advocates of the millions of Americans who lack any real skills or ambition.

    President Obama at the press conference claimed "Roughly 50 percent of Americans do not possess the competence or drive necessary to carve out a meaningful role for themselves in society. We can no longer stand by and allow People of Inability to be ridiculed and passed over.

    With this legislation, employers will no longer be able to grant special favors to a small group of workers simply because they do a better job or have some idea of what they are doing."

    President Obama pointed to the success of the US Postal Service, which has a long-standing policy of providing opportunity without regard to performance. Approximately 80 percent of postal employees lack job skills, making this agency the single largest US employer of Persons of Inability.

    Private sector industries with good records of nondiscrimination against the Inept include retail sales (72%), the airline industry (68%),and home improvement "warehouse" stores (65%)

    Under the Americans With No Abilities Act, more than 25 million 'middle-man' positions will be created, with important-sounding titles but little real responsibility, thus providing an illusory sense of purpose and performance.

    Mandatory non-performance-based raises and promotions will be given, to guarantee upward mobility for even the most unremarkable employees. The legislation provides substantial tax breaks to corporations which maintain a significant level of Persons of Inability in top positions, and gives a tax credit to small and medium businesses that agree to hire one clueless worker for every two talented hires.

    Finally, the AWNAA contains tough new measures to make it more difficult to discriminate against the Non-abled, banning discriminatory interview questions such as "Do you have any goals for the future?" or "Do you have any skills or experience which relate to this job?" and "Are you awake?"

    "As a Nonabled person, I can't be expected to keep up with people who have something going for them," said Mary Lou Gertz, who lost her position as a lug-nut twister at the GM plant in Flint, MI due to her lack of notable job skills. "This new law should really help people like me." With the passage of this bill, Gertz and millions of other untalented citizens can finally see a light at the end of the tunnel.
  2. ghost55 is online now
    ghost55's Avatar

    Senior Member

    Join Date
    Oct 2013
    Location
    Munich, Germany
    Posts
    1,277

    Posted On:
    3/01/2015 12:31pm


     Style: MMA

    1
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    Positions for these people already exist. It's an entire industry even. It's called "private security".
  3. slamdunc is online now
    slamdunc's Avatar

    Extraordinarily Ordinary

    Join Date
    Feb 2005
    Location
    Illinois
    Posts
    2,246

    Posted On:
    3/01/2015 12:35pm

    supporting member
     Style: TKD, CMA & American Kenpo

    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    Quote Originally Posted by ghost55 View Post
    Positions for these people already exist. It's an entire industry even. It's called "private security".
    Is that inclusive of bail enforcement 'agents'?
  4. ghost55 is online now
    ghost55's Avatar

    Senior Member

    Join Date
    Oct 2013
    Location
    Munich, Germany
    Posts
    1,277

    Posted On:
    3/01/2015 12:37pm


     Style: MMA

    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    Quote Originally Posted by slamdunc View Post
    Is that inclusive of bail enforcement 'agents'?
    Don't know. Haven't met any.
  5. goodlun is online now
    goodlun's Avatar

    Senior Member

    Join Date
    Jun 2008
    Location
    Ramona
    Posts
    5,710

    Posted On:
    3/01/2015 7:35pm

    Join us... or die
     Style: BJJ

    1
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    You do know that this is satire right?
    Of the single rapier fight between valiant men, having both skill, he that is the best wrestler, or if neither of them can wrestle, the strongest man most commonly kills the other, or leaves him at his mercy.
    –George Silver, Paradoxes of Defence
  6. mike321 is online now

    Senior Member

    Join Date
    Sep 2007
    Location
    California
    Posts
    1,539

    Posted On:
    3/01/2015 10:41pm


     Style: kenpo, Wrestling

    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    Quote Originally Posted by goodlun View Post
    You do know that this is satire right?
    I do wonder what happens if our economy evolves to the point where average skills have no value.
  7. ghost55 is online now
    ghost55's Avatar

    Senior Member

    Join Date
    Oct 2013
    Location
    Munich, Germany
    Posts
    1,277

    Posted On:
    3/02/2015 5:58am


     Style: MMA

    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    Quote Originally Posted by goodlun View Post
    You do know that this is satire right?
    Yup. So was what I posted. Some security guards have some seriously impressive skills. One of my coworkers could apparently make mean weed cookies.
  8. gregaquaman is online now
    gregaquaman's Avatar

    Senior Member

    Join Date
    Feb 2010
    Location
    Arlie Beach
    Posts
    2,639

    Posted On:
    3/02/2015 6:09am

    Join us... or die
     Style: mma /boxing/muai thai

    1
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    Quote Originally Posted by ghost55 View Post
    Positions for these people already exist. It's an entire industry even. It's called "private security".
    How do you become a security guard?

    Fail at everything else in life.
    Whitsunday Martial Arts Airlie Beach North Queensland.
    http://www.facebook.com/#!/WhitsundayMartialArts
  9. ghost55 is online now
    ghost55's Avatar

    Senior Member

    Join Date
    Oct 2013
    Location
    Munich, Germany
    Posts
    1,277

    Posted On:
    3/02/2015 6:19am


     Style: MMA

    1
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    Quote Originally Posted by gregaquaman View Post
    How do you become a security guard?

    Fail at everything else in life.
    That was my experience with my coworkers when I worked for a *large unnamed shitty security company* last summer.

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  

Powered by vBulletin™© contact@vbulletin.com vBulletin Solutions, Inc. 2011 All rights reserved.