i'm 7 minutes into "never back down 2"

**dflanmod** · Posted On: 9/11/2011 11:58am

Originally Posted by STB'A

it's over, and all i can say is;

never back down 2 is worse than face aids.

if they make a part 3, i'll just cut off my own testicles with a rusty pair of safety scissors before watching it.

That good huh?

I really think you owe all of us a much more extensive movie review than that. Afterall I am going to have to watch this because of you.

**TheMightyMcClaw** · Posted On: 9/11/2011 12:03pm

So just to be clear, this is a movie wherein all problems are caused by the Jews and the gays?
Who directed it, Lebell?

**Snake Plissken** · Posted On: 9/11/2011 12:08pm

Originally Posted by STB'A

...the training montage so far has been a mix of typical MMA, caporaira, TKD katas, and the dumbest grappling drill ever....

so the sequel is pretty much on par with the original regarding realism.

Originally Posted by STB'A

you remember how in the first one, the main character's dad had died in a drunk driving accident? yeah, in part 2 the main character's dad turned gay and ran off with some sissy from san fran.

wait...so number two is more realistic

**kitkatninja** · Posted On: 9/11/2011 12:18pm

Come on the burning question is...

So what is Stacey Asaro's acting like?

**Rene "Zendokan" Gysenbergs** · Posted On: 9/11/2011 12:32pm

MY EYES !!! MY G_D !!! ANY G_D !!! *saw the trailer*

**omoplatypus** · Posted On: 9/11/2011 12:45pm

ok, i watched 30 minutes of the movie last night, and then i decided to terrorist attack myself in the brain on 9/11 to watch the rest of it this morning.

here is the plot synopsis.

that one nerdy kid from never back down is back (played by someone else) and in college in louisiana.

he's trying to be a wannabe dana white and is doing an underground fight promotion.

then this one kid who was a boxing champ but has a partially detached retina and a high school wrestling king join up for the "beat down". on top of that there is this one jewish kid who gets beaten and stabbed by mexicans and stumbles into an MMA gym that's built in a vacant lot where a brock lesnar look alike and a black guy stare down the mexicans and turn them into mexicants.

then the dork from part one sends the boxer and wrestler to the black to learn the "savage science", but the black guy teaches them capoirara and the rubber guard instead. oh, and he makes them punch holes in paper hanging by strings.

then one kid gets busted with his dad being a butt pirate and the brock lesnar kid's mom starts working at a strip club as a waitress.

oh, and there are racist cops as well, but the racist cops are scared to say "n*gg*r" they just keep saying "black ass".

what else, oh yeah, the kids learn the gogoplata (which is the crane kick of the movie).

ummmmm..... oh, then one of them gets famous on the internet for doing capoaria at the gym and dumps his girlfriend and another fighter from the gym plays capt. save-a-ho and loses his virginity to her.

after that, the jewish kid, you remember him right? the one that got stabbed by mexicans, well he gets really good at the gogoplata and pees on the mexicans car and then beats them up and breaks their joints. he also steals their extendo-baton thingy. then he brags to the black coach and the black coach is all like GTFO AND GO TRAIN AT THE BOOJ.

then machida shows up and does shotokan with the black guy (seriously, it's just that random) and all the white kids drop mma names like it means something.

after that the racist cops arrest the black guy with a planted gun but the black guy beats up the cops with his hands handcuffed behind his back.

then they find out that the jew planted the gun and called the cops.

finally it's time for the all vally karate tournament and the black guy shows up just in time to watch his star pupil win by using life lessons as a finishing move, the jew fucks up brock lesnar's knee with the stick he stole from the mexicans, eddie bravo is the color commentator for the fights (no really, he is). and the jew gets his ass beat, but just barely up until the end when he gets KTFO.

then the son of the homo makes out with his girlfriend and 10,000 dollar prize money and calls his dad the gay and says "let's do lunch".

as the credits roll big john mccarthy calls the black guy and is like "you coming to UFC?" and the black guy is all like "yeah" and big john says "i just got one question for you, YOU READY?" and then king schwartza smiles and laughs and it's set up for part 3.

EDIT: i'm dead fucking serious, this is the plot of the movie. it's worse than that one move where charlie sheen gets murdered by drag racers and comes back as an alien ghost car to avenge his death and **** his old girlfriend one last time.

**dflanmod** · Posted On: 9/11/2011 12:56pm

STBA.
Nice review. Fucking awesome.

I almost can't wait to get off of work so I can watch this epic piece of ****.

**kitkatninja** · Posted On: 9/11/2011 1:01pm

Originally Posted by Rene "Zendokan" Gysenbergs

MY EYES !!! MY G_D !!! ANY G_D !!! *saw the trailer*

Took a look at the trailer, imo, the only thing that looked half real was the small clip of the kata Tekki Shodan. The rest looked very hollywood, unless that's the way MMA fighters train and fight???