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  1. #1

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    How to deal with fear

    How to deal with fear? I used to disguise it by asking what is the best and strongest martial art, the truth is: I should ask how does one stop fearing conflict, only then can I truly start to study martial arts.

  2. #2

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    Just train, I'd say

  3. #3

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    Booze is a very effective means :P however I suspect that your wanting a full time control of fear rather than the limited time (and overall usefulness) of being drunk.

    I'd say Stampy would be closer to the answer for this particular fear (the fear of dealing with conflict, which I imagine is one or two idiots trying to start trouble with you for no apparent reason) training usually boosts your self confidence, the more confident you are in your self the less you will fear others.

    That and thinking about it logically can help, for instance, you go to the gym every day (more or less) learning to fight against people of various sizes, some possibly three times bigger than your self who know how to fight, have the reaction time, strength and technical ability of a fighter. You spar with these guys maybe on a daily basis or on different days at different levels of sparring depending entirely on your gym. So, if you are consistently fighting against people like these for a hobby, what is some little punk kid who probably as no idea how to punch going to do to you?

    I'd say 9/10 your not going to have a trained fighter trying to start trouble with you in the street, its mostly going to be some violent dick, probably drunk. Obviously the best course of action when faced with this kind of idiot is to walk away or possibly run, best to avoid conflict if you can. However if you find your self in the position where you've got no choice but to fight, don't be afraid again think about it logically the chance that he'll be able to punch faster, harder that you with any sort of accuracy is extremely slim.

    Hope that bit of advice helps :). Though you can always try changing words into numbers :P

  4. #4

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    Fearing conflict can work in your favour if you can keep a bit of a leash on it. I've found there is always going to be doubt, but if you can just ignore that annoying little voice in your head and just give it your best you'll be alright. (provided your search for the best martial arts was successful and your not larping or fapping)
    :FapFap::Hehehe:

  5. #5

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    Geoff Thompson wrote a book about just the same problem (fear). He wrote a few books but you should start with the book "fear", the man actually became a doorman (allready having a black belt in karate), just to face it and overcome it. He said if you really want to be a fighter you should be an all-rounded fighter (grappling and striking), he also said that if he had only one choice he would choose boxing. Immediately after becoming a doorman in a violent part of England (Coventry or something like that) he became disillusioned from traditional MA and picked up boxing and judo. If it really bothers you, i recommend facing it by entering tournaments in judo and boxing (or whatever). Even just sparing on a weekly basis against tough people can and will toughen you up. There is much more to life than being strong and brave!!! train in a fighting sport as best you can, and invest in being successful instead of being tough (i take liberty in my advise assuming you are a young lad).
    All the best friend.

  6. #6
    gregaquaman's Avatar
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    For me it is more recognising that it is occuring and then powering on through it as quickly as possible

  7. #7

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    Quote Originally Posted by wadenus View Post
    How to deal with fear? I used to disguise it by asking what is the best and strongest martial art, the truth is: I should ask how does one stop fearing conflict, only then can I truly start to study martial arts.
    Just start training, and the fear should slowly go away. Also note that although good martial arts can get tough, and getting worked over in sparring is never pleasant, it does not have that kind of tension as a real conflict. Its a learning experience, and in good gyms nobody will try to really hurt you.

  8. #8
    Kovacs's Avatar
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    I found that competition dealt with my nerves really well. It taught me how to deal with pressure and that dreaded adrenalin dump. I haven't competed in anything for ages but on the very rare occassion that I did myself in an altercation I could still keep my calm which makes handling situations 100 times easier.

  9. #9

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    Awesome question.

    A lot of people feel their training is solely based on the off chance they will encounter some ninja, anti-ninja, thug, or whatever, on the street. That's great, but ultimately impracticle as most people do not get into fights...unless they are active competators....or dicks, who get themselves into scraps all the time. One of the more practicle aspects of training in the martial arts is to improve every OTHER aspect of your life....as you live most of your life outside of the dojo, dojang, temple, studio, or whatever it is you call the place you train. So how can one train, in a martial art, to better the rest of their life?

    Well take you for example. You have a fear of conflict. That's fine, and not uncommon. You probably have some reticene of confrontation in general...speaking in public, stuff like that. I think martial arts training helps with this. Training in a manner that has at least SOME element of risk...not reckless, but not ridiculously coddled either. This risk aspect may increase in concert with your skill level; so basically its up to your abilities to reduce the likelihood of some sort of injury or discomfort. This is a great thing, because it forces you to work hard to develop certain skill levels...then forces you to be confident by trusting these abilities. Similarly, facing doing actions that may have an element of fear...whether its simply physically taxing activities, like a workout that you fear you may not be able to finish...getting through mental barriers that prevent some people from working out 'to failure', encountering a person or technique or event that you are hesitent about, or something as simple as conducting a difficult martial arts examination in front a lot of people with the prospect that you may actually fail it (a martial arts place where people fail their testing occasionall, *gasp*). All these things, I feel, are the most practical aspect of martial arts, used daily, and applied to many aspects of one's life.

    In short, what Stampy said in post #2.

  10. #10

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    ...I also think one can derive the same benefits from competition. Anything where someone is putting all of themself out there, particularly against someone trying to stop them...is a very pure activity, and trains these important aspects of your life. "Leave a piece of your soul on the mat" as my instructor would say. Its also important to have the right mindset as well. A lot of the posturing, and drama-filled BS you see on TUF, and with other competitors is silly, immature, and counterproductive. I certainly understand and appreciate those who are playing psychological games...that **** is great; Mohammad Ali, Steve Prefontaine, etc, but some guys actually believe that ****. I like the mindset where one is hungry to compete against someone else, not to beat them but because that person is a direct challenge to that student's ability to strike successfully, execute deashi harai, shoot in, or whatever. Opponents come and go, but you are always there and should be the focus...beating another human being is an awseome thing, but should be an indicator of self-mastery more so than beating down another person.

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