The Worst Techniques I've Ever Been Taught

**SLJ** · Posted On: 4/19/2004 5:11am

Most of the stuff I was taught in Aikido was pretty bad, some of it was usefull, but only a small percentage. Anyway the worst offender was a move where you lead the guy round through 360 degrees by his arm while he stumbles around like that drunk Shun guy from Virtua Fighter. Then you finsh with a lock that wouldn't work on anyone. That's the worst thing I've been taught.

**Boyd** · Posted On: 7/11/2004 1:32am

I was taught this one novelty strike where you vertical punch with your thumb sticking straight out. That was from his lethal bag of "chi" tricks.

Defense against a bear hug: Point your fingers to the floor. I repeat, the proper way to defeat a bearhug is to point your fingers at the floor and do absolutely nothing because we're at a stalemate or something God I wasted my life.

Fun fact for all the boxers out there: "Chi flows through the fist like a tornado." Found that in my old Sensei's notebook, thought it may be helpful to you guys. Accompanying it was a drawing of a fist with a bunch of little swirly lines in it.

We were taught that when a person cocks their arm back low, as in an Isshin-Ryu reverse punch, a nerve is exposed on the shoulder that hurts really, really bad. The only problem is, the nerve is covered up when a person raises their hands for any reason. So basically, we were taught to strike an obscure nerve on the anterior deltoid, but only when their face was a viable target.

I saw an old isshin-ryu seminar tape not too long ago. The instructor showed some anti-grappling, although unlike most antigrapplers, he chose to demonstrate a defense against O-goshi instead of the standard double-leg. Now guys, I know we all like to bag on karateka trying to do shots and whatnot, but you haven't seen comedy until you've seen a totally random man get pulled from a crowd and be told to "put me in an O-goshi". He was struck in the groin for his efforts.

**JKDChick** · Posted On: 7/11/2004 1:37am

Originally posted by Boyd
...Defense against a bear hug: Point your fingers to the floor. I repeat, the proper way to defeat a bearhug is to point your fingers at the floor and do absolutely nothing because we're at a stalemate or something God I wasted my life.

Oh, we missed you SOOOOOO much.

**Boyd** · Posted On: 7/11/2004 1:54am

I'm back and black!

Well, not really black. Just scarred up really bad from cigarette burns.

**JKDChick** · Posted On: 7/11/2004 2:08am

You should still go **** yourself for signing off on AIM last night.

**Deadpan Scientist** · Posted On: 7/11/2004 2:11am

ho ho ho

**Jolly_Roger** · Posted On: 7/11/2004 2:14am

Originally posted by Boyd
IWe were taught that when a person cocks their arm back low, as in an Isshin-Ryu reverse punch, a nerve is exposed on the shoulder that hurts really, really bad. The only problem is, the nerve is covered up when a person raises their hands for any reason. So basically, we were taught to strike an obscure nerve on the anterior deltoid, but only when their face was a viable target.

.

What?
YOu learned Dim Mak, and don´t like it?

Look, Dim Mak work best under those conditions or

[list=1][*]When the person reciving the death strike is on the floor[*]The person is bound[*]The person is unconcious[*]The person is already dead[*]A friend of yours unloads a 12-gauge, just to be sure[*]You take the (hopefully) corpse, cut his head and limbs, and bury it under a crossroads, at full moon[/list=1]

Do this, and the power of Dim Mak will be yours forever.

**stoogejitsu** · Posted On: 7/11/2004 4:41am

Point to the ground in order to "freeze" your opponents mind, or defend the grapple by going down into a fetal position, I kid you not, here is the man who tried to show me these gems: http://www.llewellyn.com/authorinfo/25430

**johnbo** · Posted On: 7/11/2004 5:10am

" Richard Behrens is considered one of the foremost martial arts masters in the world. He is world renowned for his deep and unique understanding of the nature of life, the mind, and the esoteric "

You better believe what he says, after all he has a deep and unique understanding of lies, uuhmm I mean life.

**stoogejitsu** · Posted On: 7/11/2004 5:14am

Yup, he's a good con artist, and has a creepy "cult" like following, the reason I went to one of his classes was because one of his "students" was a friend of mine, well up until he was totally brainwashed, one class actually cost $55 dollars, I'm an idiot for paying that, but I was younger and more naive, and was curious about seeing a "true" grandmaster, lol.