The Worst Techniques I've Ever Been Taught

**Ronin** · Posted On: 3/25/2004 7:50am

Side "snap" kick.

**johnbo** · Posted On: 3/25/2004 3:55pm

anything in tkd that involves blocking a punch with your feet

**JurassicWarrior** · Posted On: 3/30/2004 9:19pm

Any well placed strike to the femoral cna be deadly, ask my biology teacher. I did.

**Shuma-Gorath** · Posted On: 4/18/2004 6:51pm

This isn't an individual technique per-se, but I was implicitly taught that 90% of attacks will be lunge punches from a front stance, and that once that move enters the attacker's mind he becomes totally unaware of his surroundings and will not resist when you apply your formula of techniques.

Oh, and one of my instructors used to tell kids to drop into a backstance and a shuto or some other ridiculous pose and KIAI to "make the attacker rethink their agression" before actually using force. Holy ****.

I'll drop some acid and try to remember more retarded ****.

**harlequin** · Posted On: 4/18/2004 8:32pm

lol, lots of great ones here.

TKD,
Double forarm block against two separate attacks. (at once)
Axekicking a jab (in order to block it, there was also a spinning creasent added as well)

Karate,
Shuto striking the leading fist. (straight on)
Overhand punching the lead leg, from a crouch.
and lastly, in order to break from a bear hug, from behind
1. bend forward really far
2. bend backward really fast and (attempt) jump over the back of the "assailent" thus breaking their hold on you.
3. counter.

lmao

**Toby Christensen** · Posted On: 4/18/2004 8:47pm

I'm not a fan of the single finger poke to the eye, as much as I'd like to be good at it. And "flicking" the earpieces of my glasses towards someone's eyes does **** all.

**Jolly_Roger** · Posted On: 4/18/2004 8:47pm

OMG!
You are a Ninja!

**Toby Christensen** · Posted On: 4/18/2004 8:55pm

HA! In the same way Ashida Kim is, you mean?

My God, I hate that man.... (Ashida Kim)

**Jolly_Roger** · Posted On: 4/18/2004 9:04pm

No, dude, Our most Holy Ashida Kim is the Elder God of Ninjas, kinda like the Chtulhu of Ninjas, or the Kungfools of retarded trolls...
But you're a ninja like...Hayabusa, from Ninja Gaiden!
Now you only have to scream "Gimme the Dark Dragon Sword!!!" and you'll be set!

**Boyd** · Posted On: 4/18/2004 10:26pm

Drop down to one knee, punch to the balls. The important thing to remember here is to tripod your legs for extra stability; that is, your rear leg should be off at a 45 pointing towards your front leg. This way, your opponent can't just push you over since, if you're kneeling down in a fight, your worst fear is falling to your side.
More kneeling attacks: Drop down to a lung right in front of your opponent's legs, like you're doing a basic shot. Then throw two hooks to his thights. On a personal note, I fucking hated this technique. Being a compliant uke is one thing, but just standing there and letting the fucker s-l-o-w-l-y hammer away at your inner thight with his fists and elbows, trying to see how many potential hits he can get off you (there's that efficiency again!) made me realize what Christ must've felt like
This was a weird one. If a guy is rising in a chair and you want him to sit down, you basically rub their back. Apparently you go rub, harder rub, power rub, and on the third rub they sit down.