The Worst Techniques I've Ever Been Taught

[Artis Ferox]

From some obscure KF style called Lei Quan Gong I did for 3 months (it only exists at this one particular university): drop into a low horse stance and be side on to your opponent, with your rear hand covering your head with the palm facing your opponent, gap between thumb and forefinger for eye to look through, slap groin with palm. To be fair though, I think it was only to develop leg strength and perhaps better co-ordination and such like for ungraded people.

From Goju Karate: mid round kick to opponents ribs with ball of the foot/toes, not shin or flat of the foot. Not a big margin for error on that one.

From Wing Chun: Blocking any height round kicks with hands, ie block low or mid round is gum/garn sao combo, high round is pak/tan sao combo, to the thigh just above the knee. Apparently an attacker throwing a low round kick is justification enough for a WC practitioner to drop his hands down to the level of his opponent's thigh. It is questionable if the WC practitioner would have the reflexes and co-ordination to react in time if the attacker faked a low round and followed through with a jab cross.

From Bujinkan: Anything including a boshiken (impact point of strike (done with a vertical fist) is knuckle of the index finger with thumb placed on top)). Rather like attacking someone with a toothpick.

[svargman]

From karate:
First hikite ( chambering your arm) - it is stupid and it doesn't help you much. Presumable it is supposed to help you rotate your body quicker thus "pushing" your punching hand, giving it more power. =)) silleh
Second, toe kicks - kicking with toes to all levels is dangerous as hell IMAO. I was told that toe kicks are better ( but harder/ more advanced) than other types of kicks because they cause five times more pain.
Third, traping punches - an opponent throws a jab, you catch it then quickly grab it with your other hand and start twisting your opponents hand. I had to keep from laughing when, while practicing, this "technique" was not working for anyone when opponent's resistance reached 60%, not to mention leaving no guard up.

[Petter]

First hikite ( chambering your arm) - it is stupid and it doesn't help you much. Presumable it is supposed to help you rotate your body quicker thus "pushing" your punching hand, giving it more power. =)) silleh

I gather hiki-te means “pulling hand”, not “chamber”. See e.g. this thread, post #43 and onward (and my post).

[Prince Vlad]

Booj punch defense - from ichimonji no kamae which is completely unrealistic for any defense other than a Booj attack. This one is drilled more than anything else in the Bujinkan yet it is probably one of the most unrealistic defenses ever created!

[cufaol]

From Karate and classic Jiujutsu: Age-juke. Nuff' said

[yodave]

the main flaw with full mount of nt e streets is that when you are on the bottom, you can tigerclaw the guy to the throat or tot eh eyes, and even if youre strike doesnt land with force, you then or choke the guys throat and reverse mount or gouge the eyes and reverse mount. now you can get choked or eye gouged yourelelf but the way i would defend against it would be to use classic boxing defense, basically move the guyys hands away by brushing it away with a swip of your hands, or cathc the guys hands or cover up now to me its just a matter of beeing faster than the other guy, typical bjj guy would use ground and pound, wrestling techniques leaving his face close to my chest vulnerable and concerned with wrist control and fancy submission techniques that are uncessary because in sports you cant eye gaunge and do throat grabbing but these are by far most effective attacks because of leverage abilities and ability to render opponet powerless at same time. what i would do if could tackle guy would be quick head stomps and kicks from stand up position. also groin strikes. now obsiously those can be defensed as well but on the streets close quarters combat and ground figthing specially dirty tactics are extremely important. one thing i love about bjj is that back defense is extremely effective to protect groins from knee strikes but most submission attempts can be immidiatly countrerd by tiger claws to throat or eyes and then squeeze or eye gounge, some even when the guy has the hold on you, guilottine to defend takedowns would be most effective thought but owuld have to go to ground right away to avoid tiger claw squeeze of balls while you use other hand to relieve pressure and getr out of hold.

[Petter]

Troll, obviously.

the main flaw with full mount of nt e streets is that when you are on the bottom, you can tigerclaw the guy to the throat or tot eh eyes

When someone has you mounted and you reach up toward his face, I believe this is Brazilian sign language for “please armbar me”.

now you can get choked or eye gouged yourelelf but the way i would defend against it would be to use classic boxing defense, basically move the guyys hands away by brushing it away with a swip of your hands, or cathc the guys hands or cover up

Move the hands! Brush the arms aside! Cover up! My god, this changes everything! If only someone had thought of this in the context of BJJ, we poor BJJ-ers might have some notion of dealing with it.

now to me its just a matter of beeing faster than the other guy, typical bjj guy would use ground and pound, wrestling techniques leaving his face close to my chest vulnerable

GnP leaves the attacker’s face close to the defender’s chest? How, exactly?

and concerned with wrist control and fancy submission techniques that are uncessary because in sports you cant eye gaunge and do throat grabbing but these are by far most effective attacks because of leverage abilities and ability to render opponet powerless at same time.

Using leverage to render the opponent powerless! Why, this is revolutionary. What would BJJ be like if using leverage to overpower the opponent were a core principle of the art, I wonder?

[yodave]

in bjj ur taught to be as low as possible so as not to get thrown off leaving throat and eyes exposed. wouldnt be able to do armbar very easely in this situation because arm would be diffcult to pull away once you latch on to the throat or face, obsiouly would alos be able to see armbar coming but its true its a possibility. also if i had my first arm in and i noticed u truied armbar i owuld bring my second arm in to secure the hold of the first amr and would make hold stronger, since u are trying armbar there is no threat of punching so the fact both my hands are commited at the time wouldbe be a problem. if u move head, rest of body folows and with both hands you could very quickly reverse mount. you could alos quicly transisiton from tiger calw to eyes while bottom part of hand hits chin to eye gauge with both thumbs and crush the guys eyes and them reverse mount. the key is to have fatser hands that the opponenet. bjj guys are so concerned with wrist control it doesnt really matter when you can control opponent by throat and face. really the weay i see it is as long as your elbows are inside of his, you can protect your face much easier while getting to his face and eyes very quickly. since ur arms are in the center, it would be harder to do armbars

[Petter]

Your understanding of BJJ appears roughly as firm as your grasp on spelling.

[yodave]

i just feel that there are ways to go arround bjj if you understand dirty striking, i think really the key would be to have my elbows inside of yours. as long as i can do that i think i could tiger claw and transition that eye gouge and throat grab and then reverse my way out of a mount, the key is i dont even have to hit hard, just need to get there very quickly. im not saying it would neceassrly work, just pratice your sprawl and do lots of rope skipping for mobility so you dont get take down but bjj people dont think about these dirty tactics because its illegal in competition