The Worst Techniques I've Ever Been Taught

**black mariah** · Posted On: 7/08/2006 5:51am

Originally Posted by sochin101

That's not a technique... that's something that the instructor makes you stand in when:
1)He hasn't prepared enough for the lesson and needs to waste 20 minutes.
2)He wants to chat up one of the spectators and doesn't want you studs to make him look bad. Who can look cool while they're astride an imaginary horse?
3)He's not getting any at home, and the frustration makes him just want to spread the hate.

I'm not bitter...:angry2:

You must remember that horseback stance is the linchpin of TKD stupidity. Without it, there is no "I know! Let's fight with our hands ar our hips!" and no "I know! Let's block low kicks with out hands!".:angry5:

**SuomiPerkele** · Posted On: 7/13/2006 4:39pm

One of our coaches tells us to keep our stance with feet towards the opponent. Now doesn't one's balance suck balls with this?

**Feryk** · Posted On: 7/18/2006 5:10pm

Originally Posted by sochin101

That's not a technique... that's something that the instructor makes you stand in when:
1)He hasn't prepared enough for the lesson and needs to waste 20 minutes.
2)He wants to chat up one of the spectators and doesn't want you studs to make him look bad. Who can look cool while they're astride an imaginary horse?
3)He's not getting any at home, and the frustration makes him just want to spread the hate.

I'm not bitter...:angry2:

Someone needs a hug.:icon_blac

PS. It's worse when it's during a workshop you've paid extra to attend.

**unknown** · Posted On: 7/19/2006 5:35pm

I dont understand why a horse stance is a bad thing?!?!

**black mariah** · Posted On: 7/20/2006 9:01am

Originally Posted by unknown

I dont understand why a horse stance is a bad thing?!?!

You are unstable front to back. Both of your legs are firmly planted on the floor thereby guaranteeing that anyone halfway competent WILL **** YOU SILLY with leg kicks. Your hands are down by your hips making sure you get punched in the face repeatedly. You have to keep your legs splayed so far apart that any kind of reaction from the lower body takes way too fucking long.

And to top it all off, it just looks really fucking stupid. I mean, really...

**unknown** · Posted On: 7/20/2006 12:21pm

I thought horse stance is just an exercise to strengthen leg muscles and you dont actually use it in a fight.
And thats not a proper horse stance, the guy is too high and too wide with his legs.

**sochin101** · Posted On: 7/20/2006 1:32pm

... yeah, he could probably move out of it and defend himself.
A real horse-stance should scream static instability... the only moving possible should be tipping backwards/forwards under the merest pressure.

**Crabxcore** · Posted On: 7/23/2006 8:49pm

Also, the open groin just screams field goal. To say nothing about the inability to turn in that stance.

**Asriel** · Posted On: 7/25/2006 4:29am

When I was learning Kung Fu there was a guy in the club who'd drop into horsestance while sparring. He got kicked in the nuts so many times.

**Backdraft** · Posted On: 7/26/2006 9:19am

Worst technique I've been taught, courtesy of BBT:

Defend the lunge punch by leaning forward, and proceed to cartwheelknee your opponent in the face while they stand still in lunge punch stance with the other hand on the hip.

God I hate ninjers.