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  1. #181
    Poop Loops's Avatar
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    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    Open up the attacker with dual block action, then dual knife hand chop him, one hand on each collar bone (or maybe it was each side of the neck). Saw it out of the corner of my eye in the Bullshido class next to my BJJ class.

    PL

  2. #182

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    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    There's a Bullshido class??? They actually openly and deliberately run one??

    Holy ****, conscience is a thing of the past.

  3. #183
    Shuma-Gorath's Avatar
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    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    Quote Originally Posted by Trinity
    Hey, here's one I missed.

    Standing in a straight line when blocking a punch instead of evading or rolling to the side. Yes, really, I had to condition myself to do this to get my 5th Kyu. Assume someone is throwing a robotic body shot, stand in the way of it and do a Soto-Uke. The exact words were 'don't step out, stay in your 'trams'' that's what Sensei calls it, you know, the analogy of a railway line. Right...

    I walk past pissed 6ft 6in caveman. 6ft 6in caveman demands 'What are you looking at?' I remember my perfect, textbook, 10 out of 10, A+ karate moves, I feel supremely confident, so I answer 'I don't know, they don't put labels on shite.' He gets pissed off and throws a punch. Now, what did I learn in karate school? Ah, yes. Soto Uke. Now, I can't dodge and I can't roll to the side, that would be naughty and I wouldn't get my gold star for traditional karate, so I employ soto uke head on which requires physical strength. He's 270lbs, I'm 5'7 and 122lbs, fucking useless. Fist penetrates my solar plexus, yeerkkk lacerating pain, waves of pain sucking the life out of me, my aggression and determination forced out of me like an obscene soulful excrement, referred visceral pain asphyxiating me, CRAP I THINK I'M DYING....

    *Doleful Rachmaninov symphony as Trinity crumples to the pavement puking up blood*

    Sinking into apathy and asthenia and spirals of depression...my faith is gone, there is no karate and no purpose and no God...MY SKIN IS GONE TO POWDER BLOOD BOILED DRY, IN THE CLEAN ACID OF THE DESERT, GONNA DIE...

    And I got my 5th Kyu for that. Some people have weird values.

    Maybe you shouldn't antagonize people twice your size for no reason.

  4. #184

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    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    Fucking hell, Shumagorath, that didn't actually happen. I was just taking the piss out of this ridiculous piece of teaching. I have never actually been beaten the crap out of by a drunken leviathan.
    Last edited by Trinity; 1/30/2005 5:10pm at . Reason: fucking spelling mistake

  5. #185
    Shuma-Gorath's Avatar
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    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    My point stands. You could be a master of whatever unarmned techniques you wanted and taking on someone that big would always end the way you described, although maybe there would be less melodrama if you were to use something other than Soto Uke.

  6. #186
    feedback's Avatar
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    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    Can you guys use more elaborate terms in your writing please? Especially you, Trinity-from-the-matrix. I demand to get my intellectual stimulus from reading forums!
    Tough is not how you act, tough is how you train.

  7. #187
    Poop Loops's Avatar
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    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    Quote Originally Posted by Trinity
    There's a Bullshido class??? They actually openly and deliberately run one??

    Holy ****, conscience is a thing of the past.
    Well, I think the grappling portion of it is alright. Last week I was rolling with another guy, and tried getting a triangle on him. I was doing something wrong, and the instructor from that class helped me out (my instructor was in the bathroom or something). Hell, it's really hard to Bullshido-ify grappling. As long as you are doing it with a partner, you'll learn SOMETHING useful from it.

    PL

  8. #188

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    Ah, I see.
    I think we manage to Bullshido-ify it at Shotokan though, most locks we do are unresisting, although I've been told off a number of times for using them in sparring. Well, our Sempai told us how to submit so I assumed locks were legitimate.

    There's always one. But to be fair to Shotokan it is primarily a striking not grappling sport.
    Last edited by Trinity; 1/31/2005 9:54am at .

  9. #189

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    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    Oh, another one - using 'hikite' when throwing a jab. For anyone who doesn't know, this means retracting the non-punching hand back to the hip. As if I would not, faced with such utter profound nihilistic dismalness, merely stand in front of my training partner and say 'Please kick me in the face.'

  10. #190

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    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    Straight punch to the groin. No, wait for it. Blocked with Gedan barai.

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