Description of Martial Arts Mythologies (in one sentence)

**atomicpoet** · Posted On: 7/13/2011 7:49pm

It seems to me that many cases of bullshido are a result of shysters cashing in on a martial art's mythology. So, what better use of my time then to begin a comprehensive list of mythologies -- the description contained in one sentence.

Here's ten I can think of off the top of my head:

Boxing
Kid makes a wrong decision, winds up in prison where he learns to box deadly, gets released, then fights his way to the top -- ultimately becoming champion.

Kickboxing
Kind of like boxing, but with eastern mysticism -- and some kicking.

Karate
Victim of bullying pesters old man to teach him karate, where he does household chores which -- unbenownst to him -- actually trains him to fight.

Ninjutsu
Unconfirmed-but-legendary deadly assassins devastate medieval Japan with shuriken and the ability to disappear.

Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu
Helio Gracie.

Kung Fu
Prideful master beats everyone till he kills someone, wanders the countryside where he has a spiritual epiphany, returns to kung fu where he does good and beats a white guy.

Muay Thai
Orphan gets dropped dropped off at a training camp, gets good awkwardly, becomes a champion, then quits to become a Buddhist monk or a ladyboy.

CACC
Travelling carnival strongman challenges everyone in town, beats them all, including the local tough -- who, after getting humiliated, decides to learn the secrets of shooting and hooking.

MMA
Pretty much the plot of Mortal Kombat.

Bartitsu
Evil Moriarty tries to beat Sherlock Holmes until he gets bested by the deadly art of Bartitsu

Defendu
Exactly like World War II, but without the guns.

Capoeira
Slaves get frightened that the Portuguese will discover their secret art, so they become really good dancers.

Let me know what else should be added to this list.

**PXM** · Posted On: 7/13/2011 8:16pm

I think you are confusing ancient myths with modern martial arts movies.

***battlefields*** · Posted On: 7/13/2011 8:18pm

On the scale of boredom, 1 being masturbating on Oxycontin and 10 being just masturbating, what the **** is this?

**alex** · Posted On: 7/13/2011 8:19pm

yeah youre basically just listing plotlines of various movies that are related to martial arts.

i think you should just stop making threads, you're pretty **** at it tbh.

**PXM** · Posted On: 7/13/2011 8:26pm

I think we've been over this.

The only myth about martial arts is that anything other than MMA works. Gosh.

**Vorpal** · Posted On: 7/13/2011 10:14pm

Can you look on the outside and tell me what color Skinner Box you were raised in?

**P Marsh** · Posted On: 7/13/2011 11:08pm

Originally Posted by atomicpoet

Boxing
Kid makes a wrong decision, winds up in prison where he learns to box deadly, gets released, then fights his way to the top -- ultimately becoming champion.

That not a myth that's Fight Night: Champion. The myth of boxing and pretty much every major boxing movie is a poor shmuck ends up in a gym through hard times, has a coach believe in their talent, they earn the attention of the main stream sport and get a shot at the title and win it so they aren't poor anymore because being poor is bad.

**DdlR** · Posted On: 7/14/2011 5:31pm

Originally Posted by atomicpoet

Defendu
Exactly like World War II, but without the guns.

Capoeira
Slaves get frightened that the Portuguese will discover their secret art, so they become really good dancers.

These two made me smile :)